Well, here in Southeast Texas, there can be no doubt that the seasons are changing – between the heat and a crazy thunderstorm that seems very closely related to a hurricane,complete with no electricity and downed trees everywhere, it’s summer, people.

I don’t know what this last season of your life has been like, but my last season has been fairly difficult. I’ve actually beendealing with the big C – cancer. Now before you gasp and feel too sorry for me, I have a great prognosis and have just finished chemo, awaiting a decision on surgery. Honestly, it could have been so much worse. But, between cancer and this not-so-friendly little thing called chronic pancreatitis, it’s been a struggle.

But I’m here to tell you that…I survived! And, God, being so good and faithful, has been with me every step of the way and has taught me SO many things, about Him, about myself, about people. I can’t say that it’s something I would’ve ever chosen to go through, nor do I want to go through it again, but I know these precious lessons I’ve learned, I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t gone through it.

In the beginning, my husband and I had so much peace – it was crazy! I can truly say that it’s the first time, maybe in my whole life, that I’ve experienced “the peace that passes all understanding.” And that is so cool! I have fantastic doctors, who from the beginning, said,

“Oh, you’ll be fine; you’ll be cured.”

And, I said,

“I’ll take it!”

So we started down the long tunnel of treatment: eight rounds of chemo and five consecutive days of high-powered radiation. I thought,

“OK, seems straight-forward enough. I can do this.”

Of course, being Believers, we understood that when we enter into a time of trouble, we should take that trouble to God, first. Immediately! And we did. My husband, who has been the absolute best care-taker and partner I could have ever imagined, “surrendered everything to God.” And, I started treatment.

Enter: pancreatitis. I had had a severe bout with pancreatitis, that ended with an inpatient hospital stay back in July, and I knew I had some leftover issues with it, but it hadn’t reared its ugly head in several months and a cancer diagnosis pretty much trumps EVERY other medical issue, so I didn’t spend much time thinking about my pancreas. I just kept following my low-fat diet and concentrated on beating the cancer…until after my third chemo treatment.

One night, as I was getting ready for bed, I started hurting. And,I mean HURTING. Side note: I’ve given birth and pancreatic pain makes that feel like a paper cut. I was hurting in my upper abdomen, chest, and back. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. Long story short, it was a severe attack of pancreatitis, which landed me back in the hospital for 13 days and 4 endoscopic surgeries, to put in stents, and other really gross stuff you don’t want to read about. As a result of my lovely pancreas, I had to stop treatment for two months. I lost even more weight. Worst of all, it was a huge blow to me, emotionally and even spiritually.

My prayers during this time went something like this,

“God, really? Cancer isn’t enough? Where are you? Are you, like, taking a nap or something? This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!”

See, while I thought I had surrendered this trouble to God, in reality, I’d held on to my own ideas of how this process should look, how it should feel, how long it should take, and on and on. Each time I would pray, God would gently remind me that He was in control and ask me to do more than just surrender this sickness to Him,

“Please surrender this PROCESS to Me, Sherra. I have your best interests in mind and I am working.” Insert long sigh here.

See, I hadn’t surrendered this process to God and I was kicking and screaming and crying because I wanted God to do things my way. I forgot that God is the one who has the GOOD plan for my life; I forgot that He sees way down the road of my life and knows what needs to happen for my ultimate good. He realized that, in order for my health to truly be restored, my pancreas needed to get healthier. And, He was right. Dang it.

And, so I had to do just that. At the end of my last hospital stay, my oncologist ordered an MRI of my tumor – something she said they never get to do with most patients, but because I was already in the hospital (wink), we could. The MRI showed that after just three of my eight chemo treatments, my tumor had already shrunk significantly! Yay! We were all so excited! 

Psalm 37:5-7b tells us,

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.

Maybe you’re in a tough season of life right now and don’t understand or like the process – I so feel that all the way down to my toes! But, I can tell you, from firsthand experience, the BEST thing you can do is to trust in God’s process for your life – in times of triumph and in times of trouble. He sees way more than we do and He is always, always working on our behalf.