are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21

The older I get the more I realize my need to want to control every situation or circumstance that comes my way. I am a planner. I like to know every detail of the day and when things don’t go as planned I find myself frustrated, anxious, and at times even angry. I admit I have questioned God as to why he isn’t following the plan. I think as humans we all struggle at times and feel like God just didn’t get the memo. I know that is so prideful, but it is an honest struggle for me, anyway. I know that God understands and doesn’t condemn me for that! I also know that He does, however, expect me to repent and work on it.

Trying to control and manage every detail of life is not what the Lord intends for our daily lives. Our lives are to revolve around honoring and glorifying Him no matter what we face. We will never have all the answers and that is the way God designed it. That is why He commands us to have faith. He wants us to walk in the freedom that it’s all going to work out in His will and His way. We can look back and see the good in everything God has done for us. Yes, there are things we may never completely understand but we can be assured because we know the character of God. We know that He sees things we don’t! We just need to keep living to please Him in all that we do! The more we let go of our need to control, the more we can be a light and joy walking and serving the Lord.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

Remember in Job, where He questioned God about his suffering? God answers him in chapters 38-41 with multiple questions that humble Job’s spirit.

“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, If you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it?” Job 38:4-5

That is a small part of what the Lord responded with, but wow, just these few questions is enough to humble me when I want to be in control and question God’s ways. I am so thankful for God’s word and that the Holy Spirit directs our minds to passages that help us in our struggling times.

“Then Job replied to the LORD:

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.”Job 42:1-

There are seasons in life when we look around and wonder, “God, what are You doing?”

Seasons where relationships change, dreams don’t look the way we imagined, and the person we thought we would become feels so far away. Seasons where we feel like pieces of our life are falling apart one by one.

But what if the breaking isn’t the end of the story?

What if God is using the very things we thought would destroy us to create something new within us?

A few years ago, while I was sitting in graduate school, I had a picture in my mind of what my life would look like. I imagined myself working, building my career, and following the plans I had made for myself. I never imagined that a few years later I would currently be a stay-at-home mom, carrying my daughter into the library, watching her look around with curiosity, smile at strangers, and take in the world around her. I don’t feel anything like the same person I was three years ago, and yet now I am a mom, living a life I never could have planned for myself.

But standing there with my daughter in my arms, watching her smile and people-watch, I realized something: God’s plans were never limited to the ones I had created.

The life He gave me looked different than the life I expected, but it was filled with blessings I never knew I needed.

Looking back, I can see that some of my hardest moments were also some of the moments God was closest. When I felt uncertain, He was teaching me trust. When I felt unseen, He was reminding me that I was fully known by Him. When I felt like I was losing pieces of myself, He was gently showing me who I was always created to be.

God wasn’t wasting my pain. He was using it.

The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I used to think being joyful meant everything had to be going right. But God has shown me that true joy is not found in perfect circumstances. Joy is found in knowing that even when life looks different than we planned, God is still good, still faithful, and still working.

Just like a seed has to be buried before it can grow, sometimes God allows us to walk through seasons where we feel hidden, uncomfortable, and uncertain. But hidden does not mean forgotten. Waiting does not mean abandoned. And broken does not mean beyond repair.

The woman I am today is not the woman I was before the storms. I have more compassion, more understanding, and a deeper dependence on God than I ever had before.

I used to ask God to change my circumstances. Now I find myself thanking Him for how He changed me through them.

Because sometimes God doesn’t remove the fire immediately. Sometimes He meets us in the fire and uses it to refine us.

If you are walking through a season where you feel like you are falling apart, remember this: God is not finished with you. He is still writing your story. He is still creating something beautiful.

The same God who carried you through yesterday is already holding your tomorrow. 💛

Colossians 3:23-24 reminds followers of Christ that everything we do in our life- no matter how big or how small- should be done with our whole heart, as if we are working directly for the Lord. It can be easy to give only partial effort when a task seems of no importance, but God calls us to a higher standard because our work is ultimately an act of worship. When we remember who we are serving, even ordinary responsibilities take on eternal significance.

    This passage also challenges us to examine our motives. Many people work hard for recognition, praise, or rewards from others. However, those things are temporary and never lead to full satisfaction. During my high school journey, I always strived to fit into other groups and never truly focused on being the man Christ called me to be. In doing this, I was never working for the Lord, but instead I was working for man. By working for the approval of others and for myself through high school it made my early years a lot more stressful and heavy than what they should’ve been. It was my junior year when I realized that I was living all wrong. I stopped living for myself and instead tried to devote every aspect of my life to Christ. 

    Paul reminds us that we will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward for earthly faithfulness and service done for Christ. This faithful service is extremely important in high school and will ultimately play a major role in leading your path after graduation. This promise encourages us to persevere when our work feels difficult, exhausting, or unappreciated. God sees every act of obedience, every sacrifice, and every moment of faithfulness. Nothing done for Him is ever wasted or forgotten.

    God knows the plans He has for you during high school and even years after. Those plans are full of hope and a future. Rest in His love and faithfulness as you start either your adventure into high school or adventure into college.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid… for the Lord your God goes with you.” Deuteronomy 31:6.

Every day the devil attacks us in some type of way. For months I’ve wrestled with God on writing about this because frankly I have been embarrassed.

In January of 2025 I noticed my breathing was shallower than normal and I could feel my heartbeat. I kept on thinking it would just go away but eventually I went to my cousin who is a nurse and she said I needed to go to the ER. At the ER we were told I had an irregular heartbeat and that my heart throws benign PVC’s. It was scary but I had learned to live with it and it wasn’t bothering me.

They started picking up again a few months later and my doctor asked if I possibly had anxiety, and I immediately said there’s no way I do. I am very outgoing and do good in crowds and I thought to myself, “I’m Maverick Marino I don’t have anxiety.”

I can tell you first hand that God doesn’t care who you are and in this life your faithfulness will be tested. I would wake up in the middle of the night shaking uncontrollably and my mind would race and my heart would be beating so fast that I thought I was having a heart attack. Kelanie would wake up and just have to hug me until my body finally calmed down.

It consumed my life to where I couldn’t enjoy all the things I love and I got so easily distracted. I would be sitting in church and my chest would get tight and I would fidget with my hands and shake my leg just to try and distract myself from the way I was feeling. I couldn’t go watch my baby sister play basketball without feeling like I was about to die.

I started to question God.

I went to a cardiologist, and they said my heart was fine and finally I was diagnosed with anxiety. I was shocked I never thought that it would be me that would have to deal with anxiety. I would be embarrassed to talk about it to people including my family. My panic attacks kept happening and in November my mother in law mentioned trying therapy. Other than my mom and Kelanie if it was anyone else I would have thought they were crazy and tell them I don’t need therapy but I love and respect them so much that I decided to try it.

My therapist taught me that everyday is a battle being a Christian. The devil attacks everyone in different ways but God would never put us in positions that we couldn’t get through. While he was telling me all this I still didn’t really listen I was still trying to feel better on my own and not give it to God.

On a late Saturday night in April I was sitting on my bathroom floor while Kelanie gave Klara a bath and I was so frustrated of feeling anxious all the time. My wife told me that on Sunday morning I should go and ask for prayer. I did the only logical thing and walked to my neighbors house and found my mother in law and I laid it out to her. I felt safe and comfort as she was praying for me and I felt better for the first time in a long time. I realized that I gave it to God in that moment and that was the only way to beat what the devil was putting me through.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
Psalm 56:3. Some days are good and somedays are tough but I know that God is on my side and he’s on yours too. They say that, “ It’s okay to not be okay.” And it truly is. Jesus has saved me and brought comfort and peace into my life and I know he can do the same for you!

I’m writing this while rocking the baby that I prayed for and waited on (for a multitude of reasons). The baby who was put on my heart in 2021 and placed in my arms in 2026. 

I can trace the journey through pages of journals:

In 2021, I filled pages with prayers for “Baby P.” My heart so badly wanted to give my oldest son a sibling, but my husband decided we weren’t ready. Looking back, I thank God for his leadership. You’ll see…

In 2022, I changed my prayer from “Baby P” to “Grow my family.” My heart longed to love another child, but God led me to surrender what I wanted and broaden my wishes. During this time, I cleaned out clutter, rearranged spare bedrooms, and watched for Him to move.

In 2023, we were approached to host an exchange student. This wasn’t a desire of mine, yet it perfectly aligned with my prayer. My husband and I opened our home and hearts to the most precious girl, Ivy. God “grew our family.” 

I remember thinking, “This is how God works.” He takes our desires, redirects them as necessary, and delivers right on time. He continued this pattern through the next few years in nearly every aspect of our lives.

While He publicly grew our family, He privately pruned us. Over the course of the next two years, God worked in my marriage, my mental health, and my habits and hangups. These years were MESSY and HARD, but meaningful and healing. 

My husband and I went from roommates to best friends, from going through to the motions to making the most of every moment, from resentment to romance. Sounds cheesy, but seriously…that’s what God does. 

Mentally, God healed areas I had tried to hide from for years. He uprooted years of insecurity, layers of shame, and lies that were leading my life. He set me free from anxiety and alcohol misuse.

As a family, God continued to “grow our family” through exchange students. My oldest son will tell you that he has three sisters: Ivy from South Korea, Mati from Italy, and Adri from Spain ❤️

In 2024, my husband and I were both ready to try for another baby. We began praying and waiting.

In late 2025, I found out that I was pregnant.

And today, I’m holding the baby I started praying for five years ago.

I’m not sure why He wanted me to share my timeline here, but I surely see His goodness intertwined in every line:

I see now that a simple, surrendered prayer was answered in a way I could have never imagined, asked for, or understood. I see how He redirected my desires to match His path. I see that He didn’t just add children to our arms, He centered our marriage on Jesus, set me free from anxiety and alcohol, and firmly planted us in HIS PLAN. 

I see now that a single prayer on a single line in a simple little spiral changed our lives.

“And He said to them, ‘It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority.'” – Acts 1:7

My family got jokes.  Like for real.  I’ve raised kids with some serious, razor-sharp wit.  One of their favorite things to tease me about is my planning timeline.  Apparently my timeline, the one that’s usually only in my head and never actually verbalized out loud, is deeper and more detailed than anyone else’s ever.  “The OG” and “Backbone of the Operation” are my standard nicknames around here…

So here’s where I struggle.  My timeline not matching anyone else’s causes some serious strife both internally and externally.  I get frustrated when things don’t go as planned, even if I’ve told NO ONE about the plan and/or the plan still works out in the end.  But lately, when I’m frustrated about timing, I hear God’s voice whispering in my ear “trust me. I got this.”  And the kicker – I KNOW He’s got this, and I know He’s got me.  I know it with my entire being, I just need a strong reminder sometimes.

I think as moms, especially moms who work outside the home and sometimes far away from home, we train ourselves to be logistics managers.  It starts when your kids are young. This kid has this thing at this time, but this other kid also has this thing at the same time in another town.  Lots of moving parts. Then, when the kids grow up it becomes “who’s going to dog sit these bougie dogs” and “who’s available on standby if something happens to mom.”  Always a running dialogue in my head planning in my head for these contingencies.   

I know for a fact that God is in my head listening to this dialogue and, because I sometimes need a swift kick in the pants, He continually shows me that just because I think my plan is the best that that’s not always the case.  

Case in point.  I have three vacations planned in July.  A weekend at the lake with dear friends that’s become one of the highlights of my year.  A quick jaunt to our favorite Hill Country town just my husband and I, and a family trip to the river. So here I go again with the logistics – who can go when, who keeps the dogs, the list goes on and on.  Additionally, throw a pregnant daughter and daughter-in-law and an insanely cute but active toddler in the mix and the planning becomes exponentially more complicated.  But we did it!  Planned them all and everyone’s on board.

Then God showed up. He really looked at my plans and said “Nah, I don’t think so.”  Over the holiday weekend, 5 weeks early, our favorite little 4 lb 7 ounce firecracker Luke showed up.  Overall, mom and baby are doing just fine. Luke is little and needs some time in his “cage” (his big brother’s term) to develop his lungs and get his feeding right.  But he’s a fighter and has already gotten into NICU trouble from pulling ALL his cords off his tiny little body.  So he’s in “swaddle jail” for the time being. But because of his unexpected arrival everyone’s been thrown into a bit of a scramble.  Grandparents on both sides are taking turns taking care of big brother while mom and dad tend to Luke.  Schedules are adjusted daily according to what’s needed that day.  Vacations have been rescheduled and lake friends are on standby knowing that we may bail on the weekend at any moment.  We do what needs doing, when it needs to be done, because that’s what God wants us to do.   

And through it all, God is steadfast.  Luke, while tiny, is still a firecracker and is progressing well. Big brother Leo is having the time of his life shuffling between grandparent houses.  Random baby items appear on the kid’s porch almost every day, sent by great friends.  Vacations have been adjusted and logistics have been managed. The village has stepped up in all the big and small ways.

But God stepped up most of all.  He gave us the best early present we could ever have.  And He proved to me, once again, that He’s got this and life does not go according to my plan.  He knows the plan, and he executes it according to his perfect timing.  Always has, always will. 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

My family members are convinced that I loved my dog Ellie more than I loved them. My sweet girl passed away almost two years ago, but she was definitely one of the greatest loves of my life.  Just a mut from the pound, she loved us deeply and seemed to know in her little doggy heart that she was rescued, cherished, and safe with us. I spoke words of affirmation to that dog daily, often wondering if my words could somehow make her live a longer life here on this earth.  (I know I sound crazy! Ha!)  I told my sweet furry baby that she was “the most beautiful dog in the history of all the dogs that ever were or ever would be,” and I praised her for being “the most precious, kind, and smart dog that ever lived!”  Okay.  I guess I can see how my husband and children could possibly think that the dog was more highly favored than them! 

But, I also live for speaking love and affirmation over people! When I see my daughter, I can’t help but say, “you’re so beautiful” or “you have such wisdom beyond your years.” I’m compelled to constantly tell my son, “I’m so proud of who you are as a person” or “you’re just so handsome!” I often send encouraging words to my husband via texts like, “thank you for taking such good care of our family” or “you’re such a good man.” I even throw out compliments to complete strangers, such as “I love your hair” or “that outfit is absolutely fab!” More so in people than in my sweet Ellie girl, I see how words speak life into hearts and cause heads to be held higher or hints of smiles to flash across faces, even for a second, and that brings me joy.

So why is it so hard to speak life to myself?  My internal narrative is, more often than not, filled with words like, “you are not enough,” “you will probably fail,” or even as harsh as “you are wretched and ugly.”  Yep.  I am sometimes that mean to myself.  Now, I’m being pretty vulnerable here and letting you into my thoughts that noone else can hear, but I have an inkling of a feeling that I’m not alone in the arena of self-detriment.  And, even if you are not quite as vile with your self-directed words as I am, you may still need to hear the following.  Satan hates you.  Satan hates me.  Satan hates us so much because he knows the truth that God loves us so much. God’s Word points out in John, Chapter 8 that Satan “is the father of lies” and in 2nd Corinthians, Chapter 11 that Satan would “cause our thoughts [to be] led astray….” Satan wants us to believe the lies he tells us in our own head.  How incredibly rude of him.

So how do we fight against the lies we tell ourselves? God tells us in Proverbs 18:21 that “the tongue has the power of life and death….”  This is not only about the words we say out loud, but also appliciable to the words we speak to ourselves every day, even if it’s in our own head!  There is a relatively new song out on the radio called “The Truth” by Megan Woods that honestly describes this reality better than I ever could, so please consider the lyrics here:

“How many times can you hear the same lie

Before you start to believe it?

The enemy keeps whisperin’ to me

I swear these days, it’s all that I’m hearin’

I used to know who I was

Now I look in the mirror and I’m not so sure

Lord, I don’t wanna listen to the lies anymore

The truth is I am my Father’s child

I make Him proud and I make Him smile

I was made in the image of a perfect King

He looks at me and wouldn’t change a thing

The truth is I am truly loved

By a God who’s good when I’m not good enough

I don’t belong to the lies, I belong to You

And that’s the truth”

Oh, how I pray that we can lean into the Father of truth that made us “in the image of a perfect King” and loves us so much that He “wouldn’t change a thing.”  Let’s spend more time in His Word (the Bible) and hide His truths in our hearts.  Only then will we be armed against the enemy’s lies and rest in the love, peace, and TRUTH of the life God breathes into our lives. Internalize this truth that even my sweet Ellie understood–we are rescued, cherished, and safe with Him.