Have you ever fallen down really hard? Maybe your mom poured that liquid in a brown bottle on your scraped-up knee? Or maybe you stubbed your toe? Now, what does all of that have in common?

Pain.

All of those examples are about being hurt. I am a very injury prone person, so I know a thing or two about being hurt. But sometimes there is a greater hurt than physical pain. Whether it’s a breakup or maybe people at school or work are rude to you, eventually one day life is going to slap us all in the face.

 11/13/19.

This was the day that changed my life forever. A quick little backstory: Going into my sophomore year of high school my best friend and I committed to training for basketball everyday, and that is exactly what we did. We worked out, we played pickup games, and we practiced our skills. We both made the varsity summer league team, and we both performed very well. We were both told that we would most likely make our school’s varsity team as well.

11/13/19 was a normal Wednesday at WHS. The only twist, it was the day we would find out who made the team. The athletics period came and Logan and I were working out. They called me in and told me I would just be a “practice player”. A practice player meant I didn’t get to play in the games, but I got to run suicides, do drills whenever they let me, and watch the team from the stands. I was shocked and couldn’t believe it. After the period I was sitting in class just thinking to myself, “I know I should be on this team. I’m a good player.”

 All of a sudden, I was called out of that class to go home. Confused, I got in the car with my dad. His face was white as a ghost. We drove over to the elementary school where he told me to stay in this car because I would be driving it home. My baby sister got in the car, and she asked where we were going. As soon as she asked that I saw my mother and father walk out of the building. My mother was crying and my father was holding her. Maggie thankfully didn’t see that. I immediately went into big brother mode and drove to where she couldn’t see my mother crying. That hour drive home was the longest drive of my life. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what it was. On top of that I had to act like everything was ok because of Maggie being in the car. We finally arrived at the house and my dad broke the news. My sweet MiMi had passed away.

I was devastated. I had just seen my grandmother two weeks before. Thankfully, I got one of her amazing hugs and got to hear her say “Mavo” one last time.

In one day I was told I wasn’t good enough to make the team and my MiMi had passed away. I was angry with God, and I asked over and over,“How could you do this to me?”

One night I put my Bible up, and I moved my Bible app on my phone to where I could no longer see it. I still went to church, but I never paid attention. I stopped praying and reading my bible. I cut off connection with God. I stopped hanging out with my friends as much, and I pushed everyone I loved and cared about away. I remember there was one night I looked in the mirror and was disgusted. I had grown to hate myself, and I no longer believed in myself. I had officially hit rock bottom.

 After my sophomore year I moved to Hardin-Jefferson, and I decided I was going to try out for the basketball team. On paper I didn’t stand a chance to make the team. HJ is a prestigious basketball program with multiple state championships, state ranked in 4A, and they make the playoffs every year. So if I couldn’t make the team at a smaller school how could I make it here? I tried out and not only did I make it, but I had the best season ever. None of it would have been possible without Coach Paul Sims. Coach Sims brought me out of the dark place I was in, and when he showed me that he believed in me and that he had confidence that I could produce at a high level for his basketball team, I started to believe in myself again. I started to love myself and life again. For Coach Sims I am forever grateful, but don’t ever call him Paul because he will make you run suicides for it.

 While I did start to enjoy my life again I still had so much anger and hurt towards God. I also had no relationship with him. The summer going into my senior year I went to church camp, but I didn’t learn a thing. I just went to hang out with my friends. Then, on November 9, 2021 HJ was playing against my old school in basketball. With seven minutes to go in the game I finally got to check in. As I was walking on to the court I remember seeing the clock and seeing 7 minutes to go and thinking to myself, “Huh, MiMi was born on March 7th.” I brushed it off and started to focus on the game. I proceeded to have one of the best games I had ever played. On our last offensive possession I caught the ball at the top of the three point line and I shot and swished it. As soon as it went through I saw the clock and time froze for me. There was seven seconds left on the clock, again my MiMi was born on March 7th. Then I heard thirteen in my head. I realized that I had scored thirteen points, and I immediately thought back to 11/13/19. In my head I was thinking, “11/13/19. Holy cow! I scored thirteen points, thirteen, thirteen.” Then out of nowhere for the first time in two years I felt God’s presence. All of the pain, suffering, and anger it all just went away. It truly was the biggest weight lifted off of my chest and shoulders. Reality came back and a player for my former school shot. I grabbed the rebound as time expired, and for a split second as I held the ball I thought, “Thank you.” I was swarmed by my teammates. We were all jumping up and down and celebrating for the game we had just played. When we got back to the school I opened up my bible app for the first time in two years. I randomly selected a verse and it was Hebrews 13:8 which says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Fast forward to today I read my bible and I pray everyday, and my relationship with God is great!

I realized that God never abandoned me like I thought he did. The incredible thing is he never has, and he never will. I wish I knew that back then so I didn’t have to go through everything I went through alone. But now that I know what I know, I can help people realize that they don’t have to go through tough times alone. I am hoping that by people reading this they realize that no matter how big the problem is, whether it’s someone passing away, bills, relationships, or work God will never leave your side. He will help you get through it. God never abandoned me, and he never will abandon you!

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Much of our lives are spent seeking worldly treasures to sustain our lives, the American dream, the house, the car, the friends, the vacation, the lifestyle, the shoes, the job, the success, the family. In many circumstances there’s nothing wrong with having aspirations to attain many of these treasures, however, as a child of God, a follower of Christ, sometimes the Lord places us in situations and circumstances to exercise our reliance upon him through deviant decisions so that his work, power, and testimony can be made known through our lives.

In Daniel 1 we see Nebuchadnezzar besiege the tribe of Judah and carry them to Babylon. There he takes articles from the temple of God and places them in the temples of his gods. He then does the same with the Lord’s children. He took young men from the tribe of Judah, skillful in all areas and best looking, and put them in his kingdom to train and teach and serve his empire. King Neb favors these men and gives them the royal treatment, they were to be trained in language and literature and given a daily amount of food and wine from the kings table; they were to be treated as royalty. What an honor that after being besieged, to have now been chosen, favored, allowed to work and train in the house of the King. These young men were assigned access to the greatest of foods, greatest of drink, greatest of intellectual teachings, and yet because of their foundational love for the presence of God, they chose not to indulge in the lavish appetite provided by the king. Verse 8 says 8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine.

You see, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Friends, the Lord has called us to a life set apart. The King’s food and drink, was it bad? Was it blatantly wild or unpure? Was it something one would look at and scoff at because it was ‘sinful.’ There were a few meat challenges, but other than that, it wasn’t. From all worldly perspective, it made complete sense for them to eat the diet necessary to allow their bodies to grow in strength and power, however, Daniel felt that accepting the kings food meant he was accepting his patronage or friendship, his dependency on the king for the sustenance of his being. Daniel knew that although he was chosen to live in the world of Neb, he was not going to put his dependence on the king, but rather depend on God for the nourishment of his body. Scripture says that “15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.” “17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.” (Daniel 1:15-17)

Friend, just because you can run with ‘those people’ doesn’t mean you should. Just because you can spend your money however you’d like doesn’t mean you should. Just because you’ve been offered the promotion doesn’t mean you should. Just because you’re of age to indulge may not mean you should. Just because you can watch the TV show doesn’t mean you should. Satan deceives us into sacrificing the treasures of God on the altar of Worldly desire. The Lord has called you, set you apart for a purpose, and although many of your decisions my seem misunderstood by others, the Lord honors your faithfulness and reverence. Be encouraged that the Lord can do more with our small offerings of faithfulness than the world can do in a lifetime.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Brittnee Barnes

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.”

Galatians 5:25

Atmosphere.

“It’s hot in here, I said it’s hot in here. There must some lions in the atmosphere”

If you are a Kountze kid of a certain era you can hear a sweet mom chanting that. She single handedly changed the atmosphere in many a gym.

Atmosphere is important. It can mean life or death. As Christians we need to be aware of our personal atmosphere. What am I saying? What am I watching 👀? What/who am I listening to? Is it an atmosphere Holy Spirit would choose to operate in? Is it an atmosphere that matches who we say we are? If what I say and what I do don’t match, then my witness is worthless.

Once we start aligning our personal atmosphere with Jesus we need to consider how it affects the corporate atmosphere of church. What am I bringing to the worship table? Is it my all? My best?

Am I draining the atmosphere with my less than stellar attitude, or am I attacking the atmosphere and driving back the darkness with my praise and worship?

I heard a message recently and the preacher said if we let our atmosphere slide, it becomes a climate and if we don’t address the climate it becomes a culture.

That’s scary.

What culture do I want around me? It starts with the atmosphere I accept.

Take a trip with me to the “Cross”. How do you feel when you go there ? Every… single… time I take this trip (whether in worship, reading, praying, or just the stillness of a moment),

I am filled with so much emotion. An overwhelming gratefulness that I know I don’t fully understand because of Jesus’ absolute perfection and holiness. His love for you and me is unconditional, and we do not earn His grace on that Cross and through eternity.

I’ve rebelled, fail daily, have made horrible choices. I’ve also prayed, begged, pleaded for, wept for, and worshipped for God’s grace / sobbing in the midst of deep appreciation for Him redeeming me.

But what do we do when someone else rebels, fails, or makes horrible choices? Choices that hurt you or someone you love? Someone that you don’t feel deserves your grace and forgiveness – just as you or I don’t deserve His.

Like, whoa… wait Kristy, right? That heartache still stings, that pain is still there, those hurt feelings are still interrupting my sleep and using my brain for a playground. Yeah, I know… I get it. But, with grace and forgiveness there is no middle ground. We either apply God’s grace or we step off into a nasty journey of bitterness. And well, bitterness is TRAGIC, destructive, and more painful, more hurtful, more heartache, and the very opposite of what Jesus did for us all on the cross.

Friend, the grace from the cross was not meant for us to be greedy with. It’s to be poured out as Jesus did. I’m not saying it will be easy. It’s not deserving (for any of us), and not usually the prettiest circumstances. But…but, have no doubt sister, Christ forgave you and me far beyond what we deserve, and He forgives others the same. Be intentional, be determined, not to fall short of the grace of God because you wouldn’t share that grace yourself. ♥️

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God.” Eph. 2:8