Waiting

“29 He gives strength to the weary, And to the one who lacks might He increases power. 30 Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, 31 Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.”

— Isaiah 40:29-31 (NASB20)

Waiting.

That is my season right now. The Lord asked me to move, so I moved, but He has not revealed the next step. Here – I’m supposed to wait.

Wait for the right open door.

Wait for direction.

Wait for Him to place me where He wants me.

Here’s the thing:

I struggle with patience. And I want to be in control. I’m sure none of you can relate to that, right?

In the waiting, both of those things are tested. What does next year look like? Where does He want me to go?

I thought I knew what the rest of my career looked like. I was home. With my people. Comfortable. Until – a yearning for more began to rise up in my heart. I never wanted to be anywhere else.

Until some things began glaring at me…until I poured myself out for everyone else…until I saw the sacrifice my own children made for me to hold this job. Until I grew tired – weary. Restless.

Then my thoughts became more like:

Can I really do this for the next 10-15 years?

I love my school so much, but it is time for change.

During this wait, I have watched the interviews happen to fill a spot that I have held for five years. Though it shouldn’t bother me, it does. There’s a lump in my throat even now. This spot…this place.

Not my will, but Yours, Lord.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Even when we want to shove Jesus out of the way and take the reins back, we still have to trust. Letting him direct us may be difficult, but it will be worth it.

I’m doing my best to trust right now. I know He will direct me…and that’s the truth I’m going to walk in.

During this wait, I have noticed a change. That restlessness – gone. The weariness – gone. I am enjoying time with my girls already even though I’m still going to work every week. My situation hasn’t changed yet, but my heart and mind has. Sadness has been replaced with hope and excitement.

I know the Lord has led me to this moment. I know He’s working on me. I know He already knows the next step even if I don’t yet. I have to trust that even when the control freak tries to take over again. Each day, I have to resolve that I will trust that He will provide the door. 

So here – I – wait.

Here’s my question for you: 

Are you trusting God with those areas you like to control? If not, take a step of faith. Trust Him to do what He says. Let Him direct your path and if He asks you to, wait on Him. The rest I have found in Him already is so very worth the step of faith.