“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

(Matthew 6:34)

For the last 10 years or so, I’ve had a front row seat to watch my parents grow old and frail.  Believe me when I say this is not for the faint of heart.  Watching people you thought were super-human need help getting to and from the car and around their apartment is a gut punch of EPIC proportions.  So you can probably guess that there’s been a lot of fear and panic in my life throughout those last years.  

Mom and Dad are 90 and 91 respectively.  Dad has late-stage Alzheimer’s and mom’s heart is not a happy camper, but they persevere.  That’s that generation, I tell you.  I think they invented the word STRONG.  They live independently in a senior living facility and still enjoy their friends, their shows, and their activities.  They can put my brother and I in our place in a New York minute, but then boom – life happens – and one or both of them has some sort of crisis.  So what I’ve realized throughout all of this is that once you get past the panic and crisis-mode actions, there is a quiet peace that comes with the realization that no matter what, God’s got their back (and mine too).  

I was raised in the church to be a believer, and I was also raised to be a thinker, a questioner, an analyzer.  So you can guess this causes me some problems sometimes.  I tend to question everything.  Trust but verify, right?  I guarantee you that God has rolled His eyes at me more than my momma did when I was 15, but He always sends me a wink just when I need it.

Mom and Dad guided my brothers and I to be Christians and taught us that no matter where we are in life, people should know that by our actions and not just our attendance at church services.  So as you’re probably thinking, there have been a lot of times of crisis where we needed to lean on our faith to get us through.  Have there been times when I’ve fallen short of that?  Absolutely.  I can vent and rage with the best of them.  Do I tend to over-think, over-analyze, and question everything?  Yep.  But what I find in moments of clarity is peace.  Peace and assurance that what has, is, and will happen is God’s plan.   Do I understand it?  Nope, don’t need to.  God’s got me on a need-to-know basis and I’m okay with that because He is bigger than all things. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

It still hurts, and it’s not fun sometimes, this front-row seat.  But I’m thankful that God placed me in a position where I can be there for all of it – the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I’m getting better at the panic thing, too, because something else I’ve learned is that God’s peace never really leaves me.  I just have to remember to keep Him at the forefront of all things and we’ll be okay.  No matter what.