“Hit me with your best shot… fire away!”
For years, that Pat Benatar anthem was more than my go-to karaoke song. It was my love life.

I’ve always loved love. But love hadn’t always loved me back. I was used to fighting for it — fighting to be chosen, fighting to be adored, fighting to be enough. When I was 28, my dad asked, “Are you thinking about getting married?” I laughed and said, “Dad, I’ve been thinking about getting married since I was 12.”

The truth? I didn’t have a good picker.
In November 2022, I finally admitted I couldn’t figure this out on my own. I joined a relationship coaching community for single Christian men and women. What I discovered changed everything. I learned that God created me divinely feminine. Yes, I’m a leader — a leader of leaders. But in marriage, I desired to be led by a man of God who loves Jesus more than he loves me.

When that revelation settled into my heart, I surrendered. My heart softened. My striving stopped. I became open, willing, and available — even to men I wouldn’t have chosen before.

In April 2025, I met Clayton.
What began as friendship grew into a committed relationship. For the first time, I wasn’t fighting to be chosen. I was chosen. I wasn’t striving to be adored. I was adored. He loved the Lord. He loved the Church. He loved me — steadily, intentionally, faithfully.
I kept waiting for it to explode. It never did.
Clayton is my best friend, a servant leader, kind and generous — and my fiancé. On May 7, 2026, I will become Mrs. Clayton Shults.

God didn’t send perfection. He brought together two imperfect people who love Jesus and love serving one another.
“Love is patient, love is kind… it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7)

God showed me how much He loves me — through a man who reflects His heart.
And this time, love didn’t fight me.
It chose me.

Stacy McVane @stacylmcvane