Often times when we experience a set back (something that slows you down, makes you take a step back, or makes you go back to the basics) we get upset or annoyed. That’s valid. But, I recently was given some great advice on this topic. Sometimes a set back isn’t the worst thing in the world, even though it may feel like it. Sometimes it can save you from moving too fast, rushing through things, or even save you from something God isn’t calling you to do.
Sometimes we need something to slow us down to take us back to our why.
I often times find myself in the middle of feeling set back whenever I have lost my why. It’s funny how God works.
Next time something slows you down, or sets you back, remember your why. And pray about it.
Everything the Lord does is intentional. Even sometimes slowing us down.
Romans 12:12, “rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
“When Solomon had finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices; and the glory of the Lord filled the temple. And the priests could not enter the house of the Lord, because the glory of the Lord had filled the Lord’s house.”
II Chronicles 7:1-2
A few weeks ago a word was given in pre-service prayer about being sensitive to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit. It has consumed my thoughts and ties directly into some things the Holy Spirit is working out in me.
As the Lord filled the stone and wood temple in 2 Chronicles He filled the Church to be the new temple of living stones in Acts 2.
What does that mean for me?
God put the Holy Spirit in me. He is a light for my personal path, but also a light that I am supposed to be actively shining for others. This light in me is supposed to lift up the name of Jesus and glorify Him through acts and deeds. This light in me should point others to Jesus.
To quote a pastor I listen to….”In ways that I could understand” I heard the Lord say “I have set a fire within you what is quenching it?”
That question sent me digging through notes on a study I did of the lampstand in the tabernacle. The lamps were filled with oil (which is a symbol of the Holy Spirit) and were positioned on the lampstand (which represents the Church) to shine its light forward onto the showbread (which for us represents Jesus), every part fulfilling a specific duty.
The lampstand was the only light for the tabernacle. A bright light in dark surroundings. Today Jesus is the light of the world and He uses His church to shine that light into our dark surroundings. We are to burn bright with the oil of the Holy Spirit and do just that.
Back to the original thought what’s quenching my fire? Am I listening to the nudgings of the Holy Spirit so I can reach those around me? Are there things that need to go? Things I need to add? How can I be a brighter light? I need to put these questions before the Lord and listen for answers.
So thankful He never gives up on me, wants to use me and continues to lead me into the good works He has prepared.
As of lately, the shift that’s happening in my life is becoming more and more evident to me. And honestly, I’m loving it.
Now let me be real, and let me be raw – I was scared, y’all. My husband and the sisters know the many tears that have been shed during this shift.
Just last week I was sitting in a waiting room listening to the chatter of much younger women while mindlessly scrolling on my phone. They talked of their kids who are still in single digits and of all the things that particular stage entails. I smiled and I scrolled.
I scrolled and I smiled.
I smiled at the fond memories of my kiddos at that age. ⁃ Little Dribblers ⁃ Riding their bikes ⁃ Losing teeth ⁃ Batman figurines ⁃ Daddy Daughter Dances ⁃ Maggie and those darn elves
And then I smiled at the thought of where my kids are now. It’s fun you know – watching them transform into who they are as grown-ish humans. ⁃ Getting their first car ⁃ Getting married ⁃ Choosing a college ⁃ Graduating from college ⁃ Growing in their faith ⁃ Getting their first job ⁃ Forming deep friendships
All the stages are good, momma. Don’t you worry. Don’t worry when you see the posts about “only 18 summers” and “Christmas magic ending”.
It doesn’t end. It keeps going. It is what you make it. It is what you embrace. Because after all – you’re the momma. You are the magic maker.
And may I urge you as a momma in the midst of a shift – embrace it all. Enjoy it all. When your kids are 5, 25, 35, or 55, you keep bringing the magic.
Young mommas – enjoy this stage. But just know, it’s ok to enjoy the next stage, too.
All the stages are good because God is good.
All the time.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” Ecclesiastes 3:1.
I’ve come to realize there’s never going to be a “good” time to talk about grief.
This past year marked a shift for me—for the first time in six years, I attended more weddings than funerals.
I’ve encountered death in ways that leave an indelible mark. I’ve heard the five stages of grief recited more times than I can count. I’ve hugged grieving parents burying a child, nodded in solemn agreement with siblings, woken up to dreaded text messages and missed calls, and shared moments with old friends while mending broken relationships over the death of classmates. For a while, I thought I had grief figured out: you sit, listen, observe, cry, get angry, laugh, and eventually accept. But the process repeats—over and over again.
Somehow, grief has been more prevalent in my life over the last six months than in the previous six years. And I haven’t quite figured it out. (To spare you an hour-long explanation, here’s the short version: I was in a tubing accident seven months ago and now carry the weight of a traumatic brain injury.)
I’m still learning how to grieve who I was and who I might never be again. How to grieve the physical freedom to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. How to grieve the act of reading without needing to trace each word with my finger. How to grieve not playing the guitar like I used to, or always speaking efficiently. How to grieve the memories I’ve lost from the last three years.
Recently, I wrote in my journal—like a child trying to make sense of it all: “It’s been the worst and best year all at the same time.” And it’s true. Deeper sorrow has brought a deeper dependence on the Lord, which has birthed a deeper joy.
Here’s to a year of joy: a year of learning new things and relearning old ones. A year of speech therapy and neurology appointments. A year of reading with my finger on the page. A year of learning to suffer well. And a year of finding joy in the smallest of things.
My greatest hope is that if you’re experiencing grief—whether for yourself or someone you love—these reflections help you love the person grieving, even if that person is you.
1. Recognize that grief can be experienced by death, relationships, divorce, health, infertility, guilt, miscarriage, unemployment, deployment, etcetera and I think the list really could go on and on and on.
2. The five stages of grief are absolutely ridiculous. Especially if you think you will walk through them linear and only once.
3. Show up and be intentional. Listen – it will be awkward, it will be sad, it will be emotional, it will be heavy, you will say the wrong thing, you will make them cry, you will hurt their feelings, you will share some laughs, you will share in their joy, you will hear stories that they haven’t thought about in years, you will hear stories that, truthfully, you didn’t want to hear, but you showing up in these moments will be cherished and remembered for the rest of their life.
4. Be a servant. Bring food to their house, wash the dishes in their sink, check the washer and dryer, sweep the floor, take out the trash, take the dogs on a walk, take the kids. The most important thing here is this – do not offer to do any of these things, just do it.
5. Have grace and forgiveness for the person experiencing grief, especially if that person is you.
In January, we are more mindful of our time as we come off a season of busyness. It seems the chaos starts earlier each year. The holiday season begins in October and lasts until the New Year. As Mamas we want to make each and every moment magical for our children. We want our homes to look perfect, we want our meals to be delicious and perfectly presented. And all that leads to stress and worry. It reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10.
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
It is very easy for us to be like Martha. If the Lord was coming in the flesh to my house, you better believe I would be cleaning like a crazy woman. I would want Him to feel welcome and comfortable in my home. It would be very easy to be distracted with the chores and preparation, like Martha.
It’s hard to be like Mary. Do I take the time to sit at His feet? Do I make time in my day for Him? In the busyness of the holiday season? Or do I say, “After the New Year, I will get back on track with my Bible reading, with my prayer life, etc”. Sadly I think that we all probably fall into this category. I know I struggle BIG TIME!
So, how can we be more like Mary?
• Prayer
• Bible Study
• Reading
• Worship
• Music
• Podcasts
• Like minded friends
• Mindful scheduling
• Stop overcommitting
• Etc Etc Etc
I hope that I can be like Mary all year. Not just as a resolution, but as lifelong surrender to Jesus!
I know for me this is an ongoing issue. More times than I can count my words flew out of my mouth and couldn’t take them back in. Or I used words to join a conversation that was tearing down someone, Or I tore down someone in secret. But the worst of it is using words to tear down myself.
One of the hardest things to control is what we say. And we all know that thinking those words is not any better. In James 3:10a it says: Blessings and Cursings should not come out of the same mouth… Did you see that? How many times have WE given our praises on Sunday and our cursings on Monday.
What do we do? How do we fix the problem?
Psalm 141:3 says, LORD, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.
And Psalm 39:1 says ….Guard your mouth with a muzzle..
The word guard reminds me of a police officer who is standing at the prison gate being watchful and paying attention to who comes in and who goes out. They are always looking and observing their surroundings. I must be on guard and pray for Christ to be on guard over my mouth as well. To keep watch over what words come out of my mouth and words that are inside as well.
For me the hardest thing is to speak words of edification upon myself.There is a running dialogue in my mind of words that do not build myself up. Words that tear myself down. Words that I would never speak over someone else. The verse in Colossians really spoke to me about gracious words.
Colossians 4:6: Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.
Let MY speech be gracious: ALWAYS Not sometimes: Gracious words, words of edification, words that speak favor on someone/ on myself. How easy sometimes it is to build others up and speak gracious words to them but to speak gracious words upon yourself… so hard.
I must Guard my mouth in speaking to others and in speaking to myself. May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing to Christ. Psalm 19:14
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.”
Psalms 139:14-16 NKJV
Currently, I’m in the process of becoming a missionary and part of that process requires “class work” and quite a bit of reading. Life is busy so I’ve found myself more apt to audiobooks. This month, the required reading, as part of spiritual formation, is a book called “invitation to a journey” by M Robert Mulholland Jr. and in this book he talks about the Myer-Briggs personality types based on Carl Jung’s theory.
This has been something that’s always interested me but this opened up understanding on a whole other level for me when explaining the types as preferences. The author also explains that where our preferences lie, there’s a shadow side (the opposite of our preferences) that we must learn to accept and work with in order to experience wholeness. You can’t have one and not the other. For instance, I’m an INFJ, so I am introverted and prefer (key word there) solitude but yet in order to experience the wholeness God intends for me, I need socializing.
It even goes on to explain that there may be preferences in corporate worship or how our preferences should be included in arranging our devotional time. While I was listening and taking in all of this information, “fearfully and wonderfully made” rolled around in my head and I was in such awe at how God forms us! We are wonderfully complex and He is the master craftsman. He not only forms our bodies but also our minds and shapes our personalities – preferences included – and therefore, our lives are mapped out in such a way to bring about wholeness. Our trials and experiences are working together to mold us, and God is using each thing: every mundane moment, every mountaintop experience, every hardship, every ease, every grief, every joy, every battle, every victory to make us more into the image of Christ, to bring us wholeness.
As Christians, we know His sovereignty but life can start to seem like there is no rhyme or reason to any of it yet when we remember that it all becomes a part of His plan to bring about a desired end, there is hope. He’s orchestrating a song your soul will sing! And maybe you’re in a season that lacks harmony, your preferences are not being met, you have to do things or deal with things that are not ideal – you’re an extrovert who is at home all day in this season of life, or an introvert who has to make phone calls you’d rather not have to make, perhaps you are struggling in your devotional time because the rhythm of the season has changed and you can’t talk a walk in nature but have to sit inside and reflect, a feeler who needs to be more of a thinker right now, or one who has a more carefree look at life but has deadline after deadline you have to meet.
Whatever it may be, be encouraged friends that God is using this, even an inconvenience of an unmet preference, to craft you into the image of His Son. If only our preferences were ever experienced, we’d never mature and would not be wholly sound. Imagine just having one arm buff and strong from working out and the other limp and weak because it’s never exercised – that’s what’s it like if we aren’t met with a challenge in our preferences. Our preferences serve us and bring glory to God, but the opposite of our preferences is beneficial to growth and wholeness. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in every way and every day of our life was recorded in His book…and the end of the story is “presented faultless” before Christ with great joy!
Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Man, it’s hard to do that! Relationships in today’s world tells us to get with somebody, and if they don’t benefit you then to leave them.
We’re human. We were born into a sinful world and are naturally selfish. Jesus came down to earth and died a gruesome death that we can only imagine. Any second he could have gotten off the cross and rose into heaven. All the pain would have went away for him, but Jesus chose to die so that one day we could be with him in heaven.
In the world today we see the perfect instagram couples. Couples that post their pictures together and everyone thinks to themselves, “They’re so happy nothing could be going wrong with their relationship.” Everyone thinks in relationships that it will never be hard and if it does get hard to leave.
In May of 2024 I proposed to the love of my life, Kelanie. We were planning our wedding and honeymoon and we were so excited for our special day to come and our adventure to begin. Then the month of June came and times got tough for us. We were arguing non stop every single day, and our relationship was without a doubt being tested. I was working 60 to 70 hour weeks and work was getting very stressful. I would think to myself, “Why is she so selfish?” “Why is she being so rude?”
One day in July I was playing Subway Surfer on her phone when a friend text her. The text read, “Do you still want us to pray for Mav’s job and for him to be less stressed?”
My heart sank, and it all hit me. While I was being selfish and rude to her for a whole month Kelanie still prayed for me. She prayed that my job would get better and I wouldn’t be stressed anymore and she prayed for our relationship. After I saw that text and saw how unselfish she was our relationship grew and in October we finally got married.
Kelanie is a strong Christian and I admire her more and more every single day. I am blessed to call her my best friend and my wife. Proverbs 18:22 says, “ He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
Jesus still thinks of us while we still think for ourselves. When we want to only do something for ourselves that should be the time we should think of others the most. I want to be more like Kelanie and think of others and not myself. We should all be like Jesus and show selfless love as he did for us!
It’s now been a few weeks since Christmas, and even though we’re past the season, I want to remember a small but significant part of the Christmas story.
In Luke 1:38 we read Mary’s response to an Angel telling her she is going to birth the son of God, His name will be Jesus, and He will sit on a throne of an eternal kingdom. Her response is “behold, I am a servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”
This is my favorite part of the Christmas story. It is such a powerful response. That is what true trust and faith in the Lord looks like.
My prayer is that we can show this same obedience to the Lord in everything we do, just as Mary did.
I pray through this year we can all remember that we are called to humbly serve the Lord, and we can cast all fear and all anxiety to the side and embrace the Lord’s call with full obedience.
Going into this new year, let’s celebrate how God provided for us through 2024, and then prepare for how God will call us to serve this year.
Rays of Sunshine inc 