Author: daisyrayofsunshine

Cling to hope

“… For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”

I Samuel 17:26 NKJV

Hope is a word that has been highlighted to me all month. If I saw it in a verse, which has been often, I would end up circling it. It has become like a God-wink at this point. And for the better part of the month, I was hopeful. But once again, thoughts and feelings taunted me that caused hope to recoil. A voice rises up against what I know to be true, and more specifically, true about God’s character and plan for me. There is a situation in my life that hope is a struggle in; the defeats far exceed the victories that the belief it could be or will be any different is challenging.

I’m sure we all have something like that in our lives. The place where hope has been deferred and our hearts are made sick. Perhaps you’ve even had promises spoken over this unmet desire but time (and maybe even circumstances) has become a thief: of joy, of assurance, of hope — the expectation.

I get it. I really do. And as I was talking with the Lord about the hopelessness I feel regarding my particular situation, I commented on how I didn’t feel like David facing Goliath because I was taunted by this struggle, by these thoughts and feelings. It was intimidating me in fear and I was not confident I was facing it or even could face it in faith. So the Lord prompted me to read the story of David and Goliath (1 Samuel 17). Y’all…it is so good!

What encouraged me most was that David had a confident expectation (hope) that the God who had given him victory in the past would do so again. As he explains to Saul that he had fought lions and bears as a shepherd, he is certain that God would do the same for this giant. It was no match for his God!

“Moreover David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”…”

I Samuel 17:37 NKJV

And I had to ask myself:

what have Jesus and I battled and prevailed at that once upon a time victory [in these things] seemed impossible?

This hope deferred is a) not hope denied and b) not something that will defy God, especially if He has spoken into the situation. It may feel like a giant at times but we can confidently expect God to come through; bring it down, cause it to fall face first to the ground, with the Rock our hope is in — Jesus Christ! He will have its head. If He conquered death, then situations or circumstances, disappointments, doubts, needs, troubles, heartbreaks, fears, naysayers — whatever we face, whatever tells us “this is impossible” — is nothing to Him. And I know that in the midst of the struggle, it’s hard to remember; hope is hard to cling to, but we have to remember that God will not be defied and to call to mind those battles He has won. Perhaps we should even speak to the things that seem to come against our hope as David did regarding Goliath:

“who is this uncircumcised philistine?”

Because whatever it is, is not mightier than our God — the living God!

After David defeated Goliath, he kept Goliath’s armor in his tent. It was a trophy so to speak, a reminder of the victory. It was in his stock to continually remind him that nothing was impossible with God! We have things to do the same with from past victories and whatever the situation we are now facing, there’s an armor we will keep when the battle is won. It WILL be won in Jesus’ name!

May your hope, your confident expectation in Jesus, be encouraged. May you remember past victories. And may you remember that the God we serve is not a God that is defied. Nothing is too hard and nothing is a match against our God’s power — no matter how big and intimidating it may seem.

“This HOPE we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil,”

Hebrews 6:19 NKJV

“Let us hold fast the confession of our HOPE without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”

Hebrews 10:23 NKJV

“Now faith is the substance of things HOPED for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

If

If you saw my bio yesterday, you would have read that my husband and I have the honor to pastor some really cool people. As part of giving God our yes in this season, I make a stop at a local skilled nursing facility every Monday to visit with an elderly member of our congregation who has lived there for just under a year. In the beginning, the visits were easy conversation but dementia has set in rapidly since January, and very rarely does she even know who I am anymore. As an RN who spent a lot of time with the geriatric population this is not difficult for me to navigate. I go wherever she goes. Some days we are young friends in grade school and other days we’ve had a long day working in the bank. My husband is bi-vocational, working a secular job in addition to being a pastor, so he has only been to see her twice since she was admitted. It has become a running joke between us that no matter how much she has seen me and how little she has seen him she always remembers him, even when she forgets me. So much so, that on a day when she could barely form two thoughts let alone remember who I was, she called out to me before I exited the building, “Be sure and tell Josh I said hello!“ It’s really uncanny. This has been the case for months now, but only recently has Holy Spirit revealed a spiritual parallel to me.

While she doesn’t recognize me anymore, she recognizes who I am attached to. When she looks at me, she doesn’t see me anymore. She sees the one I’m in covenant with… And that’s how it supposed to be between us as believers and the world. The one whose mind is broken and confused, should be able to look through the mist of life and recognize their savior when their eyes lock with ours. Just like when my friend with dementia fails to see or recognize me but is still able to recognize that I am married to someone she does remember even though she hasn’t seen him.

If everything else was stripped away from us, would the lost still be able to find HIM while in our presence?

“Let them see you in me

Let them hear you when I speak

Let them feel you when I sing

Let them see you

Let them see you in me“

JJ weeks Band

Best version.

Welp.

Yesterday, I looked back at my goals from January 1st of this year, and basically at this point I’ve failed.

It’s cool.

I’m cool.

Seriously though, I’ve got time. I’m not giving up on myself and neither is God.

Thank goodness.

The definition of a “work in progress” is an unfinished project that is still being added to or developed.

So my question is are you also a work in progress? Are you reflecting on your goals, your “self”, where you are and where you should be? Are you crying out, “Lord, develop me!”

We have to be intentional. We have to be purposeful. And some days we have to get in our own business.

If you’re not where you set out to be, don’t fall into a pit of self-pity. That’s not gonna get you anywhere.

No.

Instead, fall into a Kingdom-focused mindset where you are constantly looking back, reflecting, and asking yourself the hard questions.

Give yourself a pep-talk, sister. God wants you to be the best version of yourself, but YOU have to put in the hard work.

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” 2 chronicles 15:7

Enough

1 John 3:1-3 tells us, “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason, the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”

Pondering this scripture always overwhelms me with the grace and mercy of our heavenly Father. He calls us His sons and daughters. We are adopted by grace. By all things that count in this world, we are unworthy, not enough. But God doesn’t call us to be enough because He is always more than enough. When we accept by faith that Jesus is Lord, His righteousness becomes ours. What indescribable grace! When our heavenly Father looks at us, He sees Jesus.

I love the part of this scripture that says, “it has not appeared as yet what we will be…” Have you wondered, like me, what you will be when you grow up? (Yes, at 65, I’m still wondering…) I am a daughter, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a cousin, an aunt, a friend. I’m a teacher and a leader of teachers. I’ve been a secretary, an onion chopper, a babysitter, a newspaper typist, a Sunday school teacher. Those are the paths the Lord has given me to walk, but they don’t fully describe me. I am a child of God journeying Home. Jesus calls me to walk in the light as He is in the light. He calls me to be a faithful servant, to listen and obey. Though I may slip and fall, He always remains faithful. I serve the One who sees me and loves me despite my waywardness. Thank you, Lord!

I hope that we never forget that we are created for a purpose both here on earth and in heaven. God has a good plan for us, “a plan to prosper and not to harm.” One day when Jesus comes again, we will be transformed “in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.” (1 Corinthians 15:52) I can only imagine what awaits, but I trust that it will be perfect, just as our Lord is perfect.

My way

Well, here in Southeast Texas, there can be no doubt that the seasons are changing – between the heat and a crazy thunderstorm that seems very closely related to a hurricane,complete with no electricity and downed trees everywhere, it’s summer, people.

I don’t know what this last season of your life has been like, but my last season has been fairly difficult. I’ve actually beendealing with the big C – cancer. Now before you gasp and feel too sorry for me, I have a great prognosis and have just finished chemo, awaiting a decision on surgery. Honestly, it could have been so much worse. But, between cancer and this not-so-friendly little thing called chronic pancreatitis, it’s been a struggle.

But I’m here to tell you that…I survived! And, God, being so good and faithful, has been with me every step of the way and has taught me SO many things, about Him, about myself, about people. I can’t say that it’s something I would’ve ever chosen to go through, nor do I want to go through it again, but I know these precious lessons I’ve learned, I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t gone through it.

In the beginning, my husband and I had so much peace – it was crazy! I can truly say that it’s the first time, maybe in my whole life, that I’ve experienced “the peace that passes all understanding.” And that is so cool! I have fantastic doctors, who from the beginning, said,

“Oh, you’ll be fine; you’ll be cured.”

And, I said,

“I’ll take it!”

So we started down the long tunnel of treatment: eight rounds of chemo and five consecutive days of high-powered radiation. I thought,

“OK, seems straight-forward enough. I can do this.”

Of course, being Believers, we understood that when we enter into a time of trouble, we should take that trouble to God, first. Immediately! And we did. My husband, who has been the absolute best care-taker and partner I could have ever imagined, “surrendered everything to God.” And, I started treatment.

Enter: pancreatitis. I had had a severe bout with pancreatitis, that ended with an inpatient hospital stay back in July, and I knew I had some leftover issues with it, but it hadn’t reared its ugly head in several months and a cancer diagnosis pretty much trumps EVERY other medical issue, so I didn’t spend much time thinking about my pancreas. I just kept following my low-fat diet and concentrated on beating the cancer…until after my third chemo treatment.

One night, as I was getting ready for bed, I started hurting. And,I mean HURTING. Side note: I’ve given birth and pancreatic pain makes that feel like a paper cut. I was hurting in my upper abdomen, chest, and back. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. Long story short, it was a severe attack of pancreatitis, which landed me back in the hospital for 13 days and 4 endoscopic surgeries, to put in stents, and other really gross stuff you don’t want to read about. As a result of my lovely pancreas, I had to stop treatment for two months. I lost even more weight. Worst of all, it was a huge blow to me, emotionally and even spiritually.

My prayers during this time went something like this,

“God, really? Cancer isn’t enough? Where are you? Are you, like, taking a nap or something? This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!”

See, while I thought I had surrendered this trouble to God, in reality, I’d held on to my own ideas of how this process should look, how it should feel, how long it should take, and on and on. Each time I would pray, God would gently remind me that He was in control and ask me to do more than just surrender this sickness to Him,

“Please surrender this PROCESS to Me, Sherra. I have your best interests in mind and I am working.” Insert long sigh here.

See, I hadn’t surrendered this process to God and I was kicking and screaming and crying because I wanted God to do things my way. I forgot that God is the one who has the GOOD plan for my life; I forgot that He sees way down the road of my life and knows what needs to happen for my ultimate good. He realized that, in order for my health to truly be restored, my pancreas needed to get healthier. And, He was right. Dang it.

And, so I had to do just that. At the end of my last hospital stay, my oncologist ordered an MRI of my tumor – something she said they never get to do with most patients, but because I was already in the hospital (wink), we could. The MRI showed that after just three of my eight chemo treatments, my tumor had already shrunk significantly! Yay! We were all so excited! 

Psalm 37:5-7b tells us,

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.

Maybe you’re in a tough season of life right now and don’t understand or like the process – I so feel that all the way down to my toes! But, I can tell you, from firsthand experience, the BEST thing you can do is to trust in God’s process for your life – in times of triumph and in times of trouble. He sees way more than we do and He is always, always working on our behalf.

Some grace

A few years back, I was having a conversation with the big sister. I don’t know what led us there but I said, and I said it sassy, “well, I wish mom would’ve taught me how to cook.”

Big sister got in my business real quick like. This is what she said – “Daisy, mom was cleaning. Mom was working full-time. Mom was cooking, and mom coached some of our sporting events so excuse her if she didn’t have time to stop and teach you how to cook.” And if I’m being honest my momma did most of our laundry – a task my own children have been mostly doing on their own for years.

Shame on me for real.

The thing is my mom didn’t have time to stop

and have a Pinterest worthy photo shoot of her teaching us how to cook. She was doing all the things. Her job was physically hard. She was exhausted, but she kept on going to make sure we were taken care of. She did all the things that needed to get done and she did them well.

I say all of that to say this – daughters give your momma some grace. And mommas – give yourself some grace.

And if I could, I would tell my momma I’m sorry right now for even feeling that way about her.

Ladies, you don’t have to do it all all. In fact, you can’t. You’ll get burnt out on the basics real quick like if you continue to try. But you do have to do what’s most important – love those babies and point them toward Jesus.

And side note – I hope you have someone like my big sister in your life. Someone that speaks the truth to you in love. Someone that will get straight up in your business when needed. And I hope you listen to them even when it hurts.

As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

A legacy

A legacy is something that is passed on to future generations. This month marks ten years since my mother met her Savior face to face causing me to think a lot about her and her legacy. People remember her as a kind, soft spoken pastor’s wife and an amazing educator. She always exhibited love, even to those we might deem unlovable. As a wife and mother, she faithfully cared for us. She prayed endlessly for us as she spent time daily in the word. As a grandmother, she loved fiercely and prayed fervently for her grandbabies. Her commitment to her Savior was evident to all who knew her. Her legacy is one of prayer, love, grace, and beauty all stemming from Jesus.

As I’ve thought about her legacy, I am brought to a place of asking about my own legacy. What am I leaving behind that is being passed on to future generations? Reading through 1 Kings 15, we see descriptions of legacies that have been left by some of its kings. 

“Nevertheless, the heart of Asa was wholly true to the Lord all his days.”

‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭15‬:‭14‬a 

“David did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and did not turn aside from anything that he commanded him all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.”

1 Kings‬ ‭15‬:‭5‬

“He (Baasha) did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father, and in his sin which he made Israel to sin.”

‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭15‬:‭26‬ 

Life is fleeting, but what we do and how we live will be remembered. We will all leave a legacy of some kind. Will we be remembered for complaining, being ungrateful, just getting by, putting ourselves before anything and anyone else? Will we be like Baasha doing “what was evil in the sight of the Lord” and causing others to sin? Or, will we be remembered like Asa, “true to the Lord all his days”, and like David who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord”? While my mother isn’t in the Bible, I have to ask if we will also be remembered like her, living a life of prayer, love, grace, and beauty stemming from Jesus? 

When our lives are over I hope we will be able to say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬ I pray our legacies will be, “(your name) fought the good fight, (your name) finished the race, (your name) kept the faith.”

Dear God, help us remember that what we do in life does matter and will be remembered by those we leave behind. Let us live lives that leave legacies of love, grace, truth, and faithfulness.

Does it?

6 months back, my family and I got our first foster placement. It was an answered prayer, a gift from God. We were told this was likely going to end with us adopting this baby, because we were told that no-one else had a chance to adopt him. And up until 2 months ago, that’s what we thought was going to happen. And then our worlds were crushed. Our foster baby was being replaced with his biological father, something we didn’t know was going to happen until it was already happening. Even though we were happy for our baby that he would grow up with his father, we were going to miss him very much.

It felt like God was ignoring my prayers. I wanted this baby to stay. We all loved him so much. He wasn’t just a foster baby, he was family.

Question after question & tear after tear went by.

After 1 month (felt like eternity), we finally got to see our loved baby again. The amount of grief felt before couldn’t even compare to the amount of joy felt now.

God showed us how He was answering our prayers through it all. He wasn’t ignoring us, He was comforting us. He wasn’t letting us cry for no reason, He was letting us realize our need for a savior like Him.

Is this you today? Are you wondering why it doesn’t feel like God is answering your prayers?

Take hope dear friend, joy is coming. God is answering your prayers in the midst of your heartache.

He is with you right now, wherever you’re reading this.

“who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” 2 Corinthians 1:4-5

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

In Genesis 16, Abram and Sarai try to speed up the process of their promise.

Sarai hands Hagar, their slave, over to Abram to birth a child.

They quickly feel the consequences of taking control.

Sarai mistreats Hagar, pushing her to run away from the pain and shame.

The Lord asks, “Hagar, slave of Sarai,

where have you come from and where are you going?”

Hagar knew where she was coming from.

She knew what she was running from.

She was fleeing miserable mistreatment.

She was attempting to escape pain from being used.

Most of us know what we’re attempting to outrun and avoid.

We know we are running from confrontation of our sin and shame.

We know that we are outrunning pain from our past.

We know that we are avoiding discomfort.

But like Hagar, we don’t know where we are going.

We are running full speed, ninety miles an hour, headed nowhere.

We are tired, burnt out, burdened, searching for the path of peace.

We are running, rerouting, and then running some more.

Can you relate?

Is there something you are trying to outrun?

Maybe it is a marriage that isn’t living up to expectations.

Maybe it’s generational cycles or habits that you can’t break.

Maybe it’s sin that keeps creeping in and controlling you.

Maybe it’s a job that feels like more of a burden than a blessing.

Hagar couldn’t outrun her past, but she did find the right path.

She found purpose, a promise, and a new direction.

She found healing, freedom, and salvation.

Right there in her running, she found Jesus.

The Jesus that had been with her all along.

The Jesus that was waiting for her surrender.

The Jesus that saw her in her deepest path.

The Jesus that had a future prepared for her.

There is only one Way.

There is only one Path.

There is only one Name.

His name is Jesus.

So, ask yourself,

Where are you going?

If you aren’t walking towards the Lord, turn around.

Ask Him to lead you and show you the way.

Ask Him to give you vision and direction.

Ask Him to point you to your promise.

Champion

Hebrews 12:2 states,

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

The interesting thing about this verse is that “keeping our eyes” on Jesus in the Greek translates to “only focusing” on Jesus.

Only focusing on Jesus.

Soak that in. Really try and grasp it.

To only focus on Jesus means that we can’t be looking at or to anything else, and as a human – that’s hard.

Temptations

Our own interests

What others are doing

Quick fixes

Human knowledge

To only focus on Jesus means that He is the absolute center of our universe – after all, He did create it.

Everything we do should point towards Him. Everything we say should point towards Him.

It’s time to stop looking to the left.

And it’s time to stop looking to the right.

It’s time to truly hone in on Jesus – the perfecter of our faith. Let Him be your champion.