“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

(Matthew 6:34)

For the last 10 years or so, I’ve had a front row seat to watch my parents grow old and frail.  Believe me when I say this is not for the faint of heart.  Watching people you thought were super-human need help getting to and from the car and around their apartment is a gut punch of EPIC proportions.  So you can probably guess that there’s been a lot of fear and panic in my life throughout those last years.  

Mom and Dad are 90 and 91 respectively.  Dad has late-stage Alzheimer’s and mom’s heart is not a happy camper, but they persevere.  That’s that generation, I tell you.  I think they invented the word STRONG.  They live independently in a senior living facility and still enjoy their friends, their shows, and their activities.  They can put my brother and I in our place in a New York minute, but then boom – life happens – and one or both of them has some sort of crisis.  So what I’ve realized throughout all of this is that once you get past the panic and crisis-mode actions, there is a quiet peace that comes with the realization that no matter what, God’s got their back (and mine too).  

I was raised in the church to be a believer, and I was also raised to be a thinker, a questioner, an analyzer.  So you can guess this causes me some problems sometimes.  I tend to question everything.  Trust but verify, right?  I guarantee you that God has rolled His eyes at me more than my momma did when I was 15, but He always sends me a wink just when I need it.

Mom and Dad guided my brothers and I to be Christians and taught us that no matter where we are in life, people should know that by our actions and not just our attendance at church services.  So as you’re probably thinking, there have been a lot of times of crisis where we needed to lean on our faith to get us through.  Have there been times when I’ve fallen short of that?  Absolutely.  I can vent and rage with the best of them.  Do I tend to over-think, over-analyze, and question everything?  Yep.  But what I find in moments of clarity is peace.  Peace and assurance that what has, is, and will happen is God’s plan.   Do I understand it?  Nope, don’t need to.  God’s got me on a need-to-know basis and I’m okay with that because He is bigger than all things. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

It still hurts, and it’s not fun sometimes, this front-row seat.  But I’m thankful that God placed me in a position where I can be there for all of it – the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I’m getting better at the panic thing, too, because something else I’ve learned is that God’s peace never really leaves me.  I just have to remember to keep Him at the forefront of all things and we’ll be okay.  No matter what.

Not many people know, but back in June Andrew and I had a miscarriage.

This is a journey we have been on that we were not intending on sharing online, but today I do share, because we have hope and faith that one day we will see victory, a victory too good to keep to ourselves. A victory won only by our God who does not withhold good things from His children.

And I know that if I am feeling how I am, another momma out there is too. so I hope this can bring any amount of shared hope or comfort, provided only by our God.

Our story.

We do have peace in the midst of this, but how I long for the day to meet my first baby, my angel baby. I cannot wait.
I know that Jesus is carrying what my own arms cannot.

I trust that the Lord is holding her for us. & until He calls us home or comes back Himself, I will long for the day I get to hold my first baby.

And man, I cannot wait to meet my rainbow baby. that sweet baby will be a testament of the miracle of life, only gifted and given by our great God. wow is He WORTHY. worthy of all honor and praise.

Miscarriage is lonely, and painful. painful mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. but our God is healing all around. He is near to the brokenhearted. His promises & provisions are never ending.

He is worthy of all honor, worship, praise, & glory.

I find comfort and hope in Jesus because I know that God has a great plan for our lives. if we never get to hold our children earth side, He is worthy. if we get to hold 100 of our children earth side, He is worthy. if we get 1 more baby, He is worthy.

If you are going through this currently or have gone through this, I pray for you and with you. I encourage you to take heart, because our God is worthy. He sees you, loves you, and cherishes you.

Our God does not do evil, He only does good.

I pray for the mother reading this who has maybe had a miscarriage, I pray for the mother who has her babies here on earth, I pray for the mother who is still waiting to see the test say pregnant, I pray that you all see the Lord work in your lives, because He is! Brooklynn Houston

An Unexpected Answer to a Prayer 

Have you ever prayed for something and then God answered your prayer, but it was completely not how you thought He would answer it?   “Are you sure God, this can’t be right???”  

There are some biblical examples of a folks that have a similar response.  

The old Israelites wanted out of slavery.  In Exodus 1 the story begins.  They called out to God for rescue from their oppression.  They get their redeemer in Moses, an unlikely person to help, but not without some blood, frogs, lice, etc on their way out.  This surely couldn’t be the answer to their prayers of longing to the Almighty.  Then Moses leads them out of Egypt in miraculous fashion only to hear their murmuring and wishing to go back to Egypt.  Surely this could not be the answer to their prayer…they said they would rather be slaves under the Pharaoh than to endure manna and quail any longer.  Their prayers were heard and answered but certainly not how they expected.  

Then much later the Jews are again looking forward to the redeemer, the prophesied Messiah.  The gospels relay the story of baby Jesus, born in Bethlehem, hailing from lowly Nazareth.  A carpenter’s son?  Surely this cannot be God’s answer??  They expected a mighty political or military leader.  Their leader surely cannot be this Jesus.  Their answer was to kill Him!    Their prayers were heard and answered but certainly not how they expected. 

Later we read about Peter imprisoned in Acts 12.   An angel appears and helps him escape and he immediately goes to his fellow disciples’ home.  In vs 12 it says “where many were gathered together praying”.  That prayer is answered because Peter is there waiting at the door, but they don’t believe the poor little servant girl that is trying to convince them.  God surely didn’t answer our prayer like that?  They finally let Peter in and were amazed.  Their prayers were heard and answered but certainly not how they expected.

Sometimes we earnestly pray for something, maybe even something very specific.  God answers our prayer, but it’s not as we expected.  It looks different than we expected.  It doesn’t fit into our box.  It may cause us some additional work.  It might cause us some discomfort.  It might not be the easy path. So… Do we complain like the Israelites?  Do we try and thwart God’s plan like the Jews in the NT?  Or do we finally accept the blessing God is giving us and stand amazed like Peter’s friends.  It’s hard not to question God sometimes.  We are humans.   

But by doing that, we limit God.   God answers prayers His way because He can see the whole picture.  Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.  “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts…

We lowly humans cannot imagine the fullness of His goodness!  It would be in our best interest to let Him work and answer our prayer as He sees fit and for us to accept those answers.  Had the folks in our first two examples done that, they would have reaped the benefits of His goodness!

I believe we all go through seasons in this life, and as much as we hate it sometimes, those seasons teach us lessons more times than not. 

We are so quick to talk about the goodness of God when we are in a season of undeniable favor, but what about the times when we feel like we can’t catch a break? Is God still good then? Of course He is! 

It’s so easy to fall into a negative mindset and “forget” the goodness of God when our prayers aren’t being answered. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I know I’ve done that a time or two. 

Daniel 3 tells us about how Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are thrown into the fire. These 3 men knew that God was able to save them, but even if He didn’t they knew that God was still good. 

“If it be so, our God Whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, bet it known unto you, O king, that we will not serve your gods, nor worship the golden image which you have set up.”

‭‭Daniel‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬-‭18‬ ‭

God is still good…. 

Even if you don’t pass that test. 

Even if that prayer isn’t answered. 

Even if you didn’t get that new job. 

Even if you’re still waiting in the hallway because the door hasn’t opened yet. 

God is still good regardless of your current situation or circumstances. 

Conditions can determine your trust in others….Conditions shouldn’t determine your trust in God.

Have you ever parented a teenager? Bless your heart! Have you ever been a teenager and had to deal with parents? Bless your heart! I want to share a little story. My daughter had her first summer job this year, and she had to ask the manager to change her schedule for a doctor’s appointment. He said he would change her from a full shift to a half shift that day, which meant she needed to go in at three pm. She kept checking the scheduling app, and she was not listed on the schedule for that day at all. As any mother (or anyone who had held a job for long) would, I said, “Maybe you should call him and double-check! He did say you would work a half shift.” She responded that he must have changed his mind because it is sometimes easier to schedule full day shifts. I let it go for a bit, but there was a gnawing feeling of doubt in my stomach that she had made the wrong choice. 

Over the course of the week, I occasionally asked if she had communicated with her manager, and she answered that she had not, but she checked the schedule daily, and he had not added her. On the day of the appointment, she was still not on the schedule, and we set out for the doctor’s appointment. On the way, she asked if I would take her and her friend to the mall afterward. Before I said yes, I asked about the work schedule again, doubt growing ever stronger. She reminded me that she had already checked the schedule that morning and that I didn’t need to worry. She was on top of things. I couldn’t help giving my opinion that she should call or at least text and make sure that there wasn’t an error, but she was adamant that she was right. So later in the day her friend came over, and as we started to leave for the mall my daughter’s phone rang. Who was it? Yeah, I think you’ve already guessed…it was her boss wondering where she was and if she was coming to work. 

The story turned out okay. The manager found someone before he called who covered the shift. My daughter learned a lesson about communication in the workplace, and we had a less fun mall trip because at that point she was a little worried she might be fired from her summer job. When we talked about it later, I told her that when an adult offers you wise counsel, you should take it. I told her that I know things she doesn’t know and think about things from a perspective that she doesn’t; not because I am smarter or better, but because I have lived longer and have more experience. 

The verses Isaiah 55:8-9, popped into my head as I was talking and all of a sudden, I was stepping on my own toes.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

As I gently lectured my child, my heavenly Father reminded me that when I don’t listen to His word or seek His opinion, I am showing the same immaturity as my teen in relation to me. I should be seeking His ways, not my way in life, not earthly solutions to problems. Instead, we should seek wise counsel that is generously given to all who seek it. By reading God’s word and spending time with Him in prayer, we can learn God’s ways and follow them in our own lives. We can have real comfort in times of need, answers to difficult questions, and avoid some of the unpleasant consequences that might come if we choose our own way. As I told my daughter I am not smarter than you but just think differently, I realized that my Heavenly Father IS smarter than me (all knowing), and he does not get caught up in earthy thoughts or worries as I am prone to do. 

So today, are you struggling with worry, making a decision, or just wondering why things are going the way they are in your life, your community, the world? Join me in seeking wise counsel from our Father in heaven. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. You can trust that following Him is always the right decision.