The God who sees Me

Do you ever hear someone’s story and find yourself relating on many levels?

When we get to know people of the bible on deeper levels, we can see their humanity. We discover how real they were. Real flesh and bone. Real struggles. Real hopes and dreams. We hear them, see them, and can feel what they must have felt. In finding their humanity, we are reminded of our own. Time and culture may change, but the struggles humans deal with in a fallen world remain. People hurt us, we hurt others, and it goes on and on. Within the story of Hagar, we catch a glimpse of God’s nature. We are reminded that He, too, never changes. “For I, the Lord, do not change..” Malachi 3:6

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

Hagar is first mentioned in Genesis 16 after God had promised Abraham that he would have a son. Many commentaries indicate that Hagar was an Egyptian slave given to Abraham by the Pharaoh of Egypt. If you are familiar with her story, you know that after 10 years of waiting for their promise, Sarai decides to take matters into her own hands and gives Hagar as a “second wife” to Abraham to bear an heir (yes, this was a real custom at that time). So the main points develop – Hagar becomes pregnant, conflict grows between her and Sarai (imagine that), Hagar is treated harshly by Sarai, and so Hagar runs away, pregnant and wandering in the desert.

I think about the possible messages her circumstances had given her up until this point in her life. Perhaps they were telling her, “Your value is only determined by what you can do for others”. “You are powerless.” “No one sees you.” “No one is listening.”

Life circumstances can and often do give us messages. When we are smack dab in the middle of our painful circumstances, our first response is often like Hagar’s – to run. While we may not physically run away, our thoughts and our emotions can take off like a runner at a track meet. Soon we find ourselves wandering in a wilderness of our pain. We may feel alone, unseen, and unheard.

I find great comfort in verses Genesis 16:7-8: “And the angel of the Lord found her by a fountain of water in the wilderness, by the fountain in the way to Shur. And he said, ‘Hagar, Sarai’s maid, whence camest thou? And whither wilt thou go?’”

Because Hagar was found, it meant someone must have been looking for her. She was called by her name. She didn’t have to look around , point at herself, and ask “ Who? Are you talking to me?” We hear Hagar’s voice for the first time. I hear hurt in her voice. I hear despair. I hear humanity.

The questions she was asked shows that God wanted to hear what she had to say. Perhaps this was a turning point in her heart. A turning point in her heart because for the first time someone saw her and heard her. Someone wanted to know her personal story. She was a real person with a real story, for once the main character with her own role.

Being seen for the first time, Hagar declared Him “El Roi”- The God who sees me.”

Yes, we will be faced with the “Hagar moments” of humanity that are painful and uncomfortable. Jesus tells us we will have trouble in this world. But, in those moments, we can find comfort as we embrace the unchanging nature of our God.

Our situations will reveal His nature and character to us in a personal way. That’s what happened in the moment with Hagar. Real humanity met a real God.

He is the same God today in our stories.

He is a God who sees us. A God that hears us. A God that asks us questions like, “Where have you been?” “Where are you going?”

We, like Hagar, can be encouraged in knowing that we can declare Him to be El Roi- The God who sees me.”

This Heart of Stone

I’ve told many people now that I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was 12 years old, but I didn’t start acting like it until I was 28 and didn’t die in a bus accident. That sounds weird though, huh? Like…what DID I act like for those 16 years in between?

Well…I’m not going to give you all the details because that would just make the devil happy, but I will tell you that I spent the better part of those years grieving the Holy Spirit (and my parents…bless them). How do I know that I was grieving the Holy Spirit? Because. I. Was. Miserable.

In the 36th chapter of Ezekiel, God says to us, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules” (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

Although my 12-year-old self did not fully understand what trading in a heart of stone for a heart of flesh meant in that moment, God did. God knew every teenage-angst-filled choice that was to occur. He knew every loney, lost, and selfish 20-something decision that I would make. He knew I was not going to, as He put it, “walk in [His] statutes” or “obey [His] rules.” (Maybe He meant “hard-headed” instead of “heart of stone.”)

He also knew that He would BE there with me while it was all going down–whether I wanted Him to be there or not! He regularly reminded me that I needed Him–even if I didn’t want to hear it. He often reminded me that my sin was painful, but His burden was light–even if I shrugged off His desire to carry my burden.

He was there to comfort His child in those rare moments that I did decide to turn to Him and ask, if only for a moment or two before turning back to old habits, old behaviors, old sins. Until one day–March 29, 2006 to be exact–I didn’t die in a bus crash. I was a high school soccer coach on my way with a bus full of excited young girls to the first round of the state playoffs that day, until we weren’t.

Our bus crashed killling 2 of my players and resulting in life-altering injuries to many more. I was 28 years old that day. I felt 12. I was scared beyond comprehension. I was in shock. I turned to God and cried out for His help..and He was there. He had always been there. He never left. I just didn’t make a habit of seeking Him. But that day–and every day since–I’ve not let myself forget that He IS THERE…with me.

He will never leave me or forsake me. Since that day, I’ve learned so much about this “heart of flesh” versus the “heart of stone.” This “heart of flesh” causes me to look to Him at the start of each new day and not to the things of this world. This “heart of flesh” calls me to love people right where they are…just for who they ARE…not who I may want them to be. This “heart of flesh” causes me to WANT to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him.

And this “heart of flesh” calls me to know Him and be loved by Him and rest in His undeserved grace and in His endless mercy. I am so thankful that His Holy Spirit came to reside in my soul at 12-years old and never left…not even for a second. And I’m thankful that God continues to chip away at that old stone heart and give me more of that heart of flesh He talks about in Ezekiel.

And YOU can rest in the truth that God has a plan to exchange that hard-headed “heart of stone” for a “heart of flesh” if that’s what you seek. All you have to do is know He’s there…and ask!

Get off the Boat

What to do in life, where to go, what to see, achieve, and experience. These are the thoughts I ponder that I can never answer.

Do I know what I want to do? Yes. How to get there? No.

Do I know where I want to go? Yes. How to get there? Nope.

Do I know what I want to see, achieve and experience? For the most part, yes! Yet again, I have no idea how to get there, so I ask myself, what is the solution?

To non-believers, the answer to the “how to get there’s” would be logical. Save money, work hard, be patient, and invest in yourself and others around you. But to those who follow God, the answer is, “Have Faith.”

For those of us who have been Christian for most of our memory, it’s easy to become comfortable in our spiritual routine of nighttime prayers and Bible studies.

But where is faith in that?

Faith isn’t present when comfort is, and comfort cannot co-exist with faith. Wait, what? What do you mean I can’t be comfortable in my bed and not have faith? I’m not talking about physical comfort. I’m talking about spiritual comfort.

Spiritual comfort and spiritual growth are complete opposites with each other. Faith is essential for spiritual growth. Growth cannot happen without pain, and, as we all know, pain is uncomfortable.

So what spiritual growth are you missing out on because of your comfort?

A great example of shifting from comfort to faith is when disciples were out at sea during a storm and saw Jesus walking on water.

The disciple Peter had a history of safe faith up to this point. In this passage, Peter not only examples what great faith looks like, but he also examples how we should change between our comfort to faith.

He went all in.

In Mathew 14:29, Jesus said, “Come,” so Peter got out of the boat experienced the miracle of walking on water.

To do this, he had to do two things. Peter had to trust Jesus to allow him to reach the destination that he was called to. Peter had to step out of the boat. Now, Peter made the transition between comfort and faith look easy, but in reality, he still struggled.

When Peter took his eyes off Jesus while on the water, he immediately sank into the sea.

Panic-stricken and fearful, Peter reached out his hand for Jesus to save him. At the end of his grasp, he found the hand of his Savior already reaching out to save him. (Spoiler, he will do the same for you, too!).

Reading this story from the security of my home, I’ve always wondered if I would be able to take those same steps, not only out of the boat but onto the water. How many of us could or would ever step out of the boat? Out of our comfortable routines in which we never improve our relationship with God?

The enemy wants us to fear stepping out of our spiritual comfort zones because repentance causes faith, faith causes change, change causes revival, and revival causes renewal.

Without that first step, new growth can never be reached.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I want to grow. I need to push myself out of my comfort zones. Sure it might cause some growing pains, but it is nothing compared to what Jesus endured for me.

I know my choice between comfort and faith. Now it’s time for you to choose.

“He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat…” -Mathew 14: 29a

Tired of being Tired.

I do not know about y’all, but I am tired!!!! I feel like all I say these days is, “I am just tired!” Well, I know this, I am tired of being tired!!

The Lord says, “ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30.

This doesn’t mean that we still won’t be physically tired, but that we can rest and relax when we go to Jesus. The rest He gives us is a rest of pure peace.

We are living in such a busy, restless world full of distractions. We lose our focus on the blessings of today in the worry over tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year. We stay not just physically tired, but mentally tired.

So how do we find this rest of pure peace? One, we must daily meditate on God’s word. We have to devote our tired minds to seeking the Lord by reading His word. This helps us learn God’s will for each day and helps us to remember how to be obedient to God. It teaches us how we are supposed to walk in Christian love, which in turn brings peace to our lives. Psalm 1:2 says, “But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.”

Second, we should pray, pray, and pray!! We need to set aside time each day to be alone with the Lord. I know if you are like me you may have a 24/7 conversation going with God, but there is something about finding a quiet place and really having true prayer time. A time where we not only pray, but we listen to what God wants to speak into our souls. A time to give our thanks for all our blessings and to also lay our worries and burdens at His feet. What peace it brings to know that He hears us and will lead us and guide us in every moment of our day. We can rest in knowing He has full control. Psalm 5:3 “My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.”

The third thing I find that brings me pure peace and rest is worship. Of course, Sunday is our traditional day of going to church and worshipping God. It helps us to renew our tired minds and gives us strength for the week ahead. Some days we seek God, we pray, and we feel ready and pumped to face the day. Then there are those days we seek God, we pray, and we walk out the door and “bam” life hits us right in the face. Times like this we need a little more to get us through. In these times I find listening to worship music and singing praises to God brings back the peace and rest I need for the day. If I can’t sing out loud I just sing it in my head.

When we learn to focus on finding things in each moment, being thankful for all the blessings God gives us, and giving God continual praise, these are true acts of worship. There is not a truer or a more restful peaceful feeling for me than when I get to worship my God!!! Psalm 63:3-4 says, “Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands.”

God will always honor the time we choose to spend with Him, our praises to Him, and our worship. He is the only way our tired weary souls can find true rest.

Let’s Be Better

I will always be an advocate for children.

As a mom, educator, Christian, and owner of a nonprofit that supports kiddos it’s kind of my MO, and I will never shy away from it.

Here’s the thing though, y’all – standing up for what’s right won’t always make you popular. I’m cool with that. I don’t need anyone’s approval but God’s.

It doesn’t matter whether you are at school, a sporting event, church, or your home, it’s up to you to create an environment that’s based on Christian values. An environment based on love.

Kids deserve nothing less.

Kids don’t deserve to see ugly, to hear ugly, or to be exposed to ugly. It’s our job to not be ugly. It’s hard – I get it. But that’s why self-control is a fruit of the spirit. Being a Christian IS NOT EASY.

We are the adults, and we are modeling the behavior that these youngins will perceive to be correct. How we act now is how they will act later. Let’s be better for future generations. It’s up to us.

So here’s my question: are we modeling appropriate behaviors based on Biblical truth, or are we letting our flesh take over causing us to spew ugliness from our mouths?

I have a husband, family, and a wonderful tribe of friends that hold me accountable. I hope you do, too.

Let’s do better.

Let’s be better.

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9

His Calling

Do you ever ask yourself, “What is God’s purpose for my life?” I don’t know about you, but I often find myself thinking about this question as a fresh college graduate diving into the world as an adult headfirst. I question why God would want me to move 1,000 miles away from everything that I am familiar with. My husband is a new pastor and my role as his wife is to support him and serve the church. This sounds so simple and pure, but some may see it as “not enough” or even meaningless in today’s world.

But here’s the thing, our purpose as Christ followers is to be obedient and follow His calling. It is to keep our eyes on Him, even when we feel less than the next person who appears to be doing “big things” in this life. It is so easy to get caught up on the highlight reels we see on social media of some celebrity or influencer living your earthly dream.

God’s purpose for our lives may not always be clear, but focus on this verse:

“The Rock, His work is perfect, for all His ways are justice. A God of faithfulness and without iniquity, just and upright is He” Deuteronomy 32:4.

The Lord has a purpose and plan for each and every one of us while we roam this earth, whether that means you are a world renown surgeon, or a stay at home mom. Whatever that temporary role may be, it is perfectly aligned with God’s perfect plan. The Lord remains sovereign no matter what our circumstances may be at any given time.

Here are a few points to consider when pondering your God-given purpose:

1. Validation can be found in Christ who died for our sins.

2. Set your mind on a heavenly inheritance that is to come.

3. Value and recognize the work God has done in your life.

Choose Positive.

I don’t know why I’m about to write this. Honestly, it just shows how weird my thought process is. I can already see my sisters shaking their heads and smiling.

Yet here I go.

I love chocolate covered peanuts from Buccees. They’re my fav. However, it never fails that inside of every single bag there is at least one weird tasting peanut. Y’all know what I’m talking about? You bite into it, and it’s just not right – almost sour. You know it’s coming, but it’s still a surprise.

But guess what – I’m not gonna stop buying those peanuts. Like I said they are my favorite. The way I see it is there’s a whole bag of delicious, mouthwatering chocolate covered peanuts – at least a hundred – and usually just one weird tasting one. I’m not gonna let the one outdo the 100.

I said all of that to say this – don’t let one sour Christian turn you away from God. Don’t let one rotten person make you lose your faith in all humankind.

Look around you – there’s goodness everywhere.

Cling to that good.

Choose to see the positive.

Choose hope.

And if you’ve never gone to Buccees you need to make that a priority.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:1-2

Cancel Culture

The Origin of Cancel Culture: The Woman caught in Adultery

Can we talk about cancel culture for a minute? One of the biggest buzz words that birthed out of 2020 originated from mobs on the internet deeming human beings as “void” all while behind their keyboards. Essentially, we just unsubscribe to their existence and ensure they lose all streams of income, relationships, and respect. Seems on par for the year we had, huh? Can we really talk about this, like, dissect it for a minute? Let’s start from the beginning.

If you are familiar with your bible you may have heard the verse that says, “there is nothing new under sun”, Ecclesiates 1:9. This is true. The enemy is not that smart, he uses the same old tricks and veneers them in different ways. One of the very first victims of cancel culture was the woman caught in adultery found in John 8:1-11 (if you have time, pause here and go read it, it’s only 11 verses).

It is stunning how similar this story plays out compared to recent victims we have read about over the past year. The accusers did not have Instagram 2000 years ago, but they sure didn’t have a problem getting a crowd revved up ready to cast their stones. Also, why wasn’t her accomplice tried with her? Interesting.

Here we have Pharisees, accompanied by a mob, dragging this woman to Jesus, wanting permission to stone her because of her sin. Jesus spoke and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Now that’s a clap back! Not only did he say that, but he also went on to write something unknown in the sand. Whatever he wrote hit hard, because after they processed what he said, and read what he wrote, they dropped their stones and walked away, one by one.

Do you ever imagine what Jesus wrote there? I do, and every time I read this story, I come up with something new. What if he wrote, “for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” or “where sin abounds my grace abounds much more”. Today I like to think he wrote, “you don’t get to cancel people, only I have the power to do that.”

The truth is, cancel culture stems from a spirit of division and self-righteousness. If we really adhere to the laws of cancel culture every single one of us would be canceled.

But God! Because of God’s great love for us, while we were still sinners, He is rich in mercy and made us alive in Him and saved us by grace (this is where we stop and praise dance). We no longer are canceled; therefore, we do not cancel others. Jesus got canceled too, you know. On the cross, by a mob. We killed a perfect man, the Son of God, who did no wrong. Because of that day, we now live in Him forever. Because of that day, we extend the same grace he extended to us to others. You and I are the best candidates to be canceled, but God stepped in and the mob dropped their stones. Remember this, reflect on this. Let’s be the change in this new trend. Let’s show grace and drop our stones.

Barren Places

On February 28, 2021 I will turn 40 years old. More often than not, I find myself asking “Am I too old for this?” When I’m shopping for clothes, and even shoes, I may try on the “oh, so cute top or bottom” and then that’s when the question runs thru my head “Brandi, are you too old?” In much the same way a similar question daunts me when God asks me to do something for Him. “Are you done with me?” or “Am I good enough?”

I think of my age and all the things I’ve been able to do for the Lord in my life. I’m not old, but my body definitely makes me aware that I’m not young anymore. I’ve sat under some wonderful preachers and teachers. My husband and I were over the youth at our church for 16+ years. We’ve attended Youth Worker’s Conference, been to Youth Camp, taken students to Youth Conference, taught so many Bible studies on Wednesday nights, attended Leadership Classes and I’m sure there’s something I’m missing somewhere, but you get my point. God has used me.

I’ve been blessed to be part of God’s ministry, but just over 2 years ago we resigned being over the youth. It was time to do this. I will mention during that year my one and only child graduated high school, and I also gave up singing with our worship team. I came to a halt in every part of my life, except my public job. I came to a place in my life where I felt barren.

“But Sarai was barren, she had no child.” Genesis 11:30

I think of Sarai when she was barren. She wanted a child to take care of and tend to. A child could carry Abraham’s name on. She wanted something that made her feel needed and necessary. I know when you read the story in the Bible it seems like there was a lot of drama going on in this story, but she had a desire and felt like circumstances were all wrong for it to come to pass for her.

As a Christian we sometimes run across barren times in our lives and we want to feel needed and necessary. Instead, we feel empty and the circumstances around us make us feel like our time is up. I know sometimes when God gives me a small task of being a witness to someone or teaching at a different place, after I’m done with the work He gave me, I tell myself “ok, that’s done”. As if that’s all for me, I’m just going to go fall in a black hole in the Earth because God is done, and He has no more for me to do for Him.

Just like God had plans for Sarai I realize there’s so much work to be done and when God says something is going to happen, even if we are walking in a barren place in life, it’s going to happen. In Genesis 21:2 it reads “For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.” So even though my age or whatever circumstance I may be facing may not fit into the way I think things should be, I have to trust that God has a time and place for things to happen and there is always going to be things for me to do to further His ministry.

Not long after God gave me this opportunity with Rays of Sunshine and then gave me the word barren, one of our Sunday School lessons at church allowed me to run across another scripture. In Isaiah 54:1-3 it reads: “Sing, O barren, you who have not borne! Break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman,” says the Lord. Enlarge the place of your tent, and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings. Do not spare; Lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. “For you shall expand to the right and to the left, and your descendants will inherit the nations, and make the desolate cities inhabited.

There’s more for us to do so open your doors up for God to use you again. I know this to be true because not long after I gave up everything in ministry, I moved into teaching the Adult Sunday School class at church and I’ve also found new “endeavors” (as some have labeled them) with my public job, that I’m interested in stepping into soon. I’m spreading my table more and adding more chairs for the work God has for me. Even when you walk through the barren seasons in life, God’s not done with you!

You Must.

What keeps us from loving God and loving others the way we should?

Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)

“Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

I love how Jesus’ words in this scripture simply say “you must”. We do not have a choice.

That’s deep.

But what does it truly mean? I’m talking about loving the Lord with ALL of your heart, soul, and mind. It means every part of you is for him. This is not something to take lightly. We do this by giving up the life we want and seeking the one He wants for us. We have to allow our heart to truly beat for Him. Our mind also belongs to Him – not this world. We must sacrifice our personal wants, desires, and ways of this world the way He sacrificed his own life for us.

– It’s guarding your heart with His armor and strength.

– It’s allowing Him to work through you.

– It’s not allowing your mind to be filled with the worry, hurt, sins of this world but His truth only.

– It’s not trying to figure it all out on our own. But finding peace with where He has us. (Matthew 5:9)

Finally, if you’re going to love yourself, you have to see it through the Father’s eyes. If we’re going to love the person that cut us off in morning traffic, beat us to the front of the line, or let us down when we were counting on them, we’re going to have to see them through the Father’s eyes. Patient and forgiving. He is sufficient for what we need to live out his commands.

We must realize this. We must.

Rays of Sunshine inc

Educator, Mother, & Jesus Lover

Author: daisyrayofsunshine