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My way

Well, here in Southeast Texas, there can be no doubt that the seasons are changing – between the heat and a crazy thunderstorm that seems very closely related to a hurricane,complete with no electricity and downed trees everywhere, it’s summer, people.

I don’t know what this last season of your life has been like, but my last season has been fairly difficult. I’ve actually beendealing with the big C – cancer. Now before you gasp and feel too sorry for me, I have a great prognosis and have just finished chemo, awaiting a decision on surgery. Honestly, it could have been so much worse. But, between cancer and this not-so-friendly little thing called chronic pancreatitis, it’s been a struggle.

But I’m here to tell you that…I survived! And, God, being so good and faithful, has been with me every step of the way and has taught me SO many things, about Him, about myself, about people. I can’t say that it’s something I would’ve ever chosen to go through, nor do I want to go through it again, but I know these precious lessons I’ve learned, I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t gone through it.

In the beginning, my husband and I had so much peace – it was crazy! I can truly say that it’s the first time, maybe in my whole life, that I’ve experienced “the peace that passes all understanding.” And that is so cool! I have fantastic doctors, who from the beginning, said,

“Oh, you’ll be fine; you’ll be cured.”

And, I said,

“I’ll take it!”

So we started down the long tunnel of treatment: eight rounds of chemo and five consecutive days of high-powered radiation. I thought,

“OK, seems straight-forward enough. I can do this.”

Of course, being Believers, we understood that when we enter into a time of trouble, we should take that trouble to God, first. Immediately! And we did. My husband, who has been the absolute best care-taker and partner I could have ever imagined, “surrendered everything to God.” And, I started treatment.

Enter: pancreatitis. I had had a severe bout with pancreatitis, that ended with an inpatient hospital stay back in July, and I knew I had some leftover issues with it, but it hadn’t reared its ugly head in several months and a cancer diagnosis pretty much trumps EVERY other medical issue, so I didn’t spend much time thinking about my pancreas. I just kept following my low-fat diet and concentrated on beating the cancer…until after my third chemo treatment.

One night, as I was getting ready for bed, I started hurting. And,I mean HURTING. Side note: I’ve given birth and pancreatic pain makes that feel like a paper cut. I was hurting in my upper abdomen, chest, and back. I honestly thought I was having a heart attack. Long story short, it was a severe attack of pancreatitis, which landed me back in the hospital for 13 days and 4 endoscopic surgeries, to put in stents, and other really gross stuff you don’t want to read about. As a result of my lovely pancreas, I had to stop treatment for two months. I lost even more weight. Worst of all, it was a huge blow to me, emotionally and even spiritually.

My prayers during this time went something like this,

“God, really? Cancer isn’t enough? Where are you? Are you, like, taking a nap or something? This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!”

See, while I thought I had surrendered this trouble to God, in reality, I’d held on to my own ideas of how this process should look, how it should feel, how long it should take, and on and on. Each time I would pray, God would gently remind me that He was in control and ask me to do more than just surrender this sickness to Him,

“Please surrender this PROCESS to Me, Sherra. I have your best interests in mind and I am working.” Insert long sigh here.

See, I hadn’t surrendered this process to God and I was kicking and screaming and crying because I wanted God to do things my way. I forgot that God is the one who has the GOOD plan for my life; I forgot that He sees way down the road of my life and knows what needs to happen for my ultimate good. He realized that, in order for my health to truly be restored, my pancreas needed to get healthier. And, He was right. Dang it.

And, so I had to do just that. At the end of my last hospital stay, my oncologist ordered an MRI of my tumor – something she said they never get to do with most patients, but because I was already in the hospital (wink), we could. The MRI showed that after just three of my eight chemo treatments, my tumor had already shrunk significantly! Yay! We were all so excited! 

Psalm 37:5-7b tells us,

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act.

Maybe you’re in a tough season of life right now and don’t understand or like the process – I so feel that all the way down to my toes! But, I can tell you, from firsthand experience, the BEST thing you can do is to trust in God’s process for your life – in times of triumph and in times of trouble. He sees way more than we do and He is always, always working on our behalf.

Some grace

A few years back, I was having a conversation with the big sister. I don’t know what led us there but I said, and I said it sassy, “well, I wish mom would’ve taught me how to cook.”

Big sister got in my business real quick like. This is what she said – “Daisy, mom was cleaning. Mom was working full-time. Mom was cooking, and mom coached some of our sporting events so excuse her if she didn’t have time to stop and teach you how to cook.” And if I’m being honest my momma did most of our laundry – a task my own children have been mostly doing on their own for years.

Shame on me for real.

The thing is my mom didn’t have time to stop

and have a Pinterest worthy photo shoot of her teaching us how to cook. She was doing all the things. Her job was physically hard. She was exhausted, but she kept on going to make sure we were taken care of. She did all the things that needed to get done and she did them well.

I say all of that to say this – daughters give your momma some grace. And mommas – give yourself some grace.

And if I could, I would tell my momma I’m sorry right now for even feeling that way about her.

Ladies, you don’t have to do it all all. In fact, you can’t. You’ll get burnt out on the basics real quick like if you continue to try. But you do have to do what’s most important – love those babies and point them toward Jesus.

And side note – I hope you have someone like my big sister in your life. Someone that speaks the truth to you in love. Someone that will get straight up in your business when needed. And I hope you listen to them even when it hurts.

As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

A legacy

A legacy is something that is passed on to future generations. This month marks ten years since my mother met her Savior face to face causing me to think a lot about her and her legacy. People remember her as a kind, soft spoken pastor’s wife and an amazing educator. She always exhibited love, even to those we might deem unlovable. As a wife and mother, she faithfully cared for us. She prayed endlessly for us as she spent time daily in the word. As a grandmother, she loved fiercely and prayed fervently for her grandbabies. Her commitment to her Savior was evident to all who knew her. Her legacy is one of prayer, love, grace, and beauty all stemming from Jesus.

As I’ve thought about her legacy, I am brought to a place of asking about my own legacy. What am I leaving behind that is being passed on to future generations? Reading through 1 Kings 15, we see descriptions of legacies that have been left by some of its kings. 

“Nevertheless, the heart of Asa was wholly true to the Lord all his days.”

‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭15‬:‭14‬a 

“David did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and did not turn aside from anything that he commanded him all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.”

1 Kings‬ ‭15‬:‭5‬

“He (Baasha) did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father, and in his sin which he made Israel to sin.”

‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭15‬:‭26‬ 

Life is fleeting, but what we do and how we live will be remembered. We will all leave a legacy of some kind. Will we be remembered for complaining, being ungrateful, just getting by, putting ourselves before anything and anyone else? Will we be like Baasha doing “what was evil in the sight of the Lord” and causing others to sin? Or, will we be remembered like Asa, “true to the Lord all his days”, and like David who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord”? While my mother isn’t in the Bible, I have to ask if we will also be remembered like her, living a life of prayer, love, grace, and beauty stemming from Jesus? 

When our lives are over I hope we will be able to say, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬ I pray our legacies will be, “(your name) fought the good fight, (your name) finished the race, (your name) kept the faith.”

Dear God, help us remember that what we do in life does matter and will be remembered by those we leave behind. Let us live lives that leave legacies of love, grace, truth, and faithfulness.

Does it?

6 months back, my family and I got our first foster placement. It was an answered prayer, a gift from God. We were told this was likely going to end with us adopting this baby, because we were told that no-one else had a chance to adopt him. And up until 2 months ago, that’s what we thought was going to happen. And then our worlds were crushed. Our foster baby was being replaced with his biological father, something we didn’t know was going to happen until it was already happening. Even though we were happy for our baby that he would grow up with his father, we were going to miss him very much.

It felt like God was ignoring my prayers. I wanted this baby to stay. We all loved him so much. He wasn’t just a foster baby, he was family.

Question after question & tear after tear went by.

After 1 month (felt like eternity), we finally got to see our loved baby again. The amount of grief felt before couldn’t even compare to the amount of joy felt now.

God showed us how He was answering our prayers through it all. He wasn’t ignoring us, He was comforting us. He wasn’t letting us cry for no reason, He was letting us realize our need for a savior like Him.

Is this you today? Are you wondering why it doesn’t feel like God is answering your prayers?

Take hope dear friend, joy is coming. God is answering your prayers in the midst of your heartache.

He is with you right now, wherever you’re reading this.

“who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” 2 Corinthians 1:4-5

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

In Genesis 16, Abram and Sarai try to speed up the process of their promise.

Sarai hands Hagar, their slave, over to Abram to birth a child.

They quickly feel the consequences of taking control.

Sarai mistreats Hagar, pushing her to run away from the pain and shame.

The Lord asks, “Hagar, slave of Sarai,

where have you come from and where are you going?”

Hagar knew where she was coming from.

She knew what she was running from.

She was fleeing miserable mistreatment.

She was attempting to escape pain from being used.

Most of us know what we’re attempting to outrun and avoid.

We know we are running from confrontation of our sin and shame.

We know that we are outrunning pain from our past.

We know that we are avoiding discomfort.

But like Hagar, we don’t know where we are going.

We are running full speed, ninety miles an hour, headed nowhere.

We are tired, burnt out, burdened, searching for the path of peace.

We are running, rerouting, and then running some more.

Can you relate?

Is there something you are trying to outrun?

Maybe it is a marriage that isn’t living up to expectations.

Maybe it’s generational cycles or habits that you can’t break.

Maybe it’s sin that keeps creeping in and controlling you.

Maybe it’s a job that feels like more of a burden than a blessing.

Hagar couldn’t outrun her past, but she did find the right path.

She found purpose, a promise, and a new direction.

She found healing, freedom, and salvation.

Right there in her running, she found Jesus.

The Jesus that had been with her all along.

The Jesus that was waiting for her surrender.

The Jesus that saw her in her deepest path.

The Jesus that had a future prepared for her.

There is only one Way.

There is only one Path.

There is only one Name.

His name is Jesus.

So, ask yourself,

Where are you going?

If you aren’t walking towards the Lord, turn around.

Ask Him to lead you and show you the way.

Ask Him to give you vision and direction.

Ask Him to point you to your promise.

Champion

Hebrews 12:2 states,

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

The interesting thing about this verse is that “keeping our eyes” on Jesus in the Greek translates to “only focusing” on Jesus.

Only focusing on Jesus.

Soak that in. Really try and grasp it.

To only focus on Jesus means that we can’t be looking at or to anything else, and as a human – that’s hard.

Temptations

Our own interests

What others are doing

Quick fixes

Human knowledge

To only focus on Jesus means that He is the absolute center of our universe – after all, He did create it.

Everything we do should point towards Him. Everything we say should point towards Him.

It’s time to stop looking to the left.

And it’s time to stop looking to the right.

It’s time to truly hone in on Jesus – the perfecter of our faith. Let Him be your champion.

Keep fighting

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Sometimes I think I’m too real on here, but do you ever just mess things up?? This mouth y’all. Stuff just flies out sometimes. Don’t get me wrong I’m thankful I am not where I used to be, but I have a long way to go.

A few weeks ago, two days in a row I was convicted over things I said. I have a tendency to replay conversations in my head and sometimes it’s just not good. One of the things was an innocent, joking comment and the person accused me of being a fake Christian and the next day I was in a high stress situation and may or may not have said a bad word. What. In. The. World. I was feeling pretty defeated and then driving along I heard a song I’ve heard a million times and these words just hit home.

🎶Sometimes on this journey, I get lost in my mistakes

What looks to me like weakness is a canvas for Your strength

And my story isn’t over, my story’s just begun

And failure won’t define me ’cause that’s what my Father does🎶

Cory Asbury was singing right to me.

The enemy wants nothing more than to back us off the plate. He doesn’t play fair. Two small mess ups had me feeling totally unworthy and useless. Thankfully Jesus has bigger plans, He knows exactly who I am and what works He has prepared for me.

I can’t waste time feeling defeated. I have to repent, move on and keep fighting the good fight. I was able to use the first situation and hopefully turned it to good. A bonus was that the Lord revealed something I needed to put out of my thought process. In the stressful situation only Jesus heard me and I’m confident He forgave me.

Today is a new day; whatever is holding you back. 🗣️ Let. It. Go.

I can’t say it better than Jeremiah.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!”

Hallelujah 🙌🏻

Empathy

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others

In our day and age of technology and social media, we have lost our sense of empathy. We comment, reply, respond, message, post, tweet, snap things that we would NEVER EVER say to a person’s face.

Most people could (hopefully) read the emotion on someone’s face when they were in person. But behind our screens we lose all decency and empathy.

Some atrocious new story such as a kidnapping or murder occur, and we comment on the FB news station page, “well they shouldn’t have been doing xyz”. Maybe our words of sympathy or a simple scroll on by would be better. The families read those comments as do others who might be in a similar situation.

Our food order is wrong at a restaurant, we run to social media and complain. A tweet costing an employee, that made a simple mistake, demerits at their job. Maybe just let it go, or a call to the restaurant without informing the universe. The entire world is short staffed, we could be a little more gracious.

A decision in government is made that could possibly benefit a neighbor but also weigh another down, we cry foul and complain either way. Most of the time voicing our opinions on social media isn’t going to change things, let’s use our voice at the polls.

We post generalizations that are inherently true, but we have a dear friend suffering and their feelings are completely overlooked because a point must be made on Facebook to our “rightness”. Must it be said, do we consider our friend?

A lack of empathy behind the screen will eventually lead to a crass society. I truly don’t think we are there yet. I think most folks have empathy in real life. But I do think we are on a slippery slope. We cannot win souls with an ugly attitude!

I Peter 3:8-9 (but keep reading – good stuff right there!)

8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing

New

May is a big month! It is so busy with end of school year activities. May is a time when I can’t help but think about endings and beginnings. With the school year winding down, so many young people are graduating from high school and college and looking forward to new beginnings. All those graduates in their caps and gown make me feel bittersweet. I hate that they are leaving the comfort and safety of their nest, but I am excited for what comes next in their lives. I know that they cannot thrive staying in the same place, standing still. They must move forward to reach their full potential. Isn’t that the way life is though? Almost all new beginnings pair with endings. For all of us change-phobic humans in the world, that reality can be a challenge. Endings often bring change, loss, and a fear of the unknown. If I am honest, I am not a fan. But I do love when I see someone wholeheartedly embracing new beginnings. What I am learning is that when you embrace them, beginnings are filled with vitality and a buzzing, electric hope for the future. A sense of adventure fuels beginnings, and curiosity and determination sustain them.

It is so human of me to cling to the past and dread endings, isn’t it? I really think beginnings are supernatural, and God has a lot to say about beginnings. He created them in the first place, so whether you tend to cling to the old or embrace change headlong, God’s word is a good place to go to look for guidance. When we are saved, Christians become a new creation. In 2 Corinthians 5:17, the Bible says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here.” When I read that verse and think about the old me, dead in my sin, suddenly change-phobic Heather feels really good about new beginnings. Here is what I am learning to love about beginnings. God is in the beginning business. He gives us the opportunity for new life in Him. That means that if we confess our sins, repent, and ask Jesus to be the Lord of our life, we can have a new life here on Earth and for eternity in Heaven. Earlier I said that beginnings and ending are a matched set, right. So that tells me that becoming a Christian comes with some endings.

Earlier I said endings are hard, and let’s be clear, dying to self and submitting to someone else’s authority rather than my own is hard, and sometimes feels counterintuitive. Sometimes, often, I don’t succeed. I have bad habits that I give into. I like to take control of situations, I focus too much on myself, and I lose my temper. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. The good thing is, God allows us to ask for forgiveness and He forgives us again. We can have new beginnings when we make mistakes. In Mark 2, Jesus tells a parable about wineskins. He says don’t put new wine in old wineskins. The old wineskin would burst open. It would ruin the wineskin and the wine would be ruined as well. He said that new wine should be poured into new wineskins. God doesn’t want us to continue doing life the way we have always done. He challenges us to accept the ending of our old selves, draw closer to Him, and change. But when we mess up, and we all do, he graciously forgives us and provides a new beginning again. When you embrace the new beginning, He will fill you with hope and vitality, and when you seek Him with curiosity and determination, He will make you new, and He will sustain you.

Whichever side you lean toward, the change-phobic, or the eager, embracer of new things, I hope you look to the Lord to sustain you when new opportunities arise and as you walk in the newness of your life in Christ every day. And if you don’t yet know Jesus, there is no time like right now to ask Him for the new beginning he longs to give you.

Thank you, God for giving us a new life in You. When we make mistakes, please help us to confess our sins and renew our relationship with You. Help us to remain new wineskins, filled with new wine. Help us to move forward with curiosity, wonder, and excitement as we navigate life. Help us not to settle for the comfort of the same, but to run after your purpose for our lives. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Change

Change we all hate it. We see it coming and we still dig our heels in. We all have a hard time with change. Whether we are ready or not change happens and is coming. One season of change that is hard to face always happens during the month of May, Graduation season,

Graduation season always moves the time clock up for our children. Promotions to the next grade level, graduating kindergarten, 8th grade, high school and even college and on to empty nesters. All of these changes in our lives as parents really hit hard. Sometimes we are ready and sometimes we are not.

I find myself in the empty nester stage. This season for me watches as one daughter is married, wife, teacher and coach and the other daughter graduated with her masters, living in Arkansas and looking for her God appointed job. People have asked me all through my daughters’ college careers and after “are you sad they are gone”, “sad they are not at home anymore”, My answer is yes and no: Yes because I love having them around and living life with them and No because they are where God wants them to be. They are living out His life plan for them and I love seeing God work in them by opening and closing doors, providing for them and teaching them to rely on Him.

This season of change in our lives as parents is not easy. If we cling too hard to them and interfere every time and try to fix it God can’t teach them what He needs for them to learn. All through my life with my girls I was the fixer. You’re mad so I am too, I need to jump in and take over, you got it. But by doing this my girls have missed out on what God was teaching them. We need to learn to back off. God has this under control and we need to trust Him. Being on the sideline is hard as a parent. God has told me many times “ back off I got this.” This is not easy as a parent I know but we have to learn to let God guide them and us.

God has given me a ministry at the high school where I teach. He has given me more “children” to love and support, encourage, cheer for and guide. These children graduate and move on to their God given plan and it still brings me to tears as it did my own daughters. Even in the empty nest time of your life God gives you a purpose.

So you mommas and daddies who are starting your parenting journey to those graduating your last child at home. You got this. Let God guide and direct you and teach you when to help and when to back off. Don’t interfere. He has got this.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Pray this verse over your children.