I’ve come to realize there’s never going to be a “good” time to talk about grief.

This past year marked a shift for me—for the first time in six years, I attended more weddings than funerals.

I’ve encountered death in ways that leave an indelible mark. I’ve heard the five stages of grief recited more times than I can count. I’ve hugged grieving parents burying a child, nodded in solemn agreement with siblings, woken up to dreaded text messages and missed calls, and shared moments with old friends while mending broken relationships over the death of classmates. For a while, I thought I had grief figured out: you sit, listen, observe, cry, get angry, laugh, and eventually accept. But the process repeats—over and over again.

Somehow, grief has been more prevalent in my life over the last six months than in the previous six years. And I haven’t quite figured it out. (To spare you an hour-long explanation, here’s the short version: I was in a tubing accident seven months ago and now carry the weight of a traumatic brain injury.)

I’m still learning how to grieve who I was and who I might never be again. How to grieve the physical freedom to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. How to grieve the act of reading without needing to trace each word with my finger. How to grieve not playing the guitar like I used to, or always speaking efficiently. How to grieve the memories I’ve lost from the last three years.

Recently, I wrote in my journal—like a child trying to make sense of it all: “It’s been the worst and best year all at the same time.” And it’s true. Deeper sorrow has brought a deeper dependence on the Lord, which has birthed a deeper joy.

Here’s to a year of joy: a year of learning new things and relearning old ones. A year of speech therapy and neurology appointments. A year of reading with my finger on the page. A year of learning to suffer well. And a year of finding joy in the smallest of things.

My greatest hope is that if you’re experiencing grief—whether for yourself or someone you love—these reflections help you love the person grieving, even if that person is you. 

1. Recognize that grief can be experienced by death, relationships, divorce, health, infertility, guilt, miscarriage, unemployment, deployment, etcetera and I think the list really could go on and on and on. 

2. The five stages of grief are absolutely ridiculous. Especially if you think you will walk through them linear and only once. 

3. Show up and be intentional. Listen – it will be awkward, it will be sad, it will be emotional, it will be heavy, you will say the wrong thing, you will make them cry, you will hurt their feelings, you will share some laughs, you will share in their joy, you will hear stories that they haven’t thought about in years, you will hear stories that, truthfully, you didn’t want to hear, but you showing up in these moments will be cherished and remembered for the rest of their life. 

4. Be a servant. Bring food to their house, wash the dishes in their sink, check the washer and dryer, sweep the floor, take out the trash, take the dogs on a walk, take the kids. The most important thing here is this – do not offer to do any of these things, just do it. 

5. Have grace and forgiveness for the person experiencing grief, especially if that person is you. 

In January, we are more mindful of our time as we come off a season of busyness.  It seems the chaos starts earlier each year.  The holiday season begins in October and lasts until the New Year.  As Mamas we want to make each and every moment magical for our children.  We want our homes to look perfect, we want our meals to be delicious and perfectly presented.  And all that leads to stress and worry.  It reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10.

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

It is very easy for us to be like Martha.  If the Lord was coming in the flesh to my house, you better believe I would be cleaning like a crazy woman.  I would want Him to feel welcome and comfortable in my home.  It would be very easy to be distracted with the chores and preparation, like Martha.  

It’s hard to be like Mary.  Do I take the time to sit at His feet?  Do I make time in my day for Him?  In the busyness of the holiday season?  Or do I say, “After the New Year, I will get back on track with my Bible reading, with my prayer life, etc”.  Sadly I think that we all probably fall into this category.  I know I struggle BIG TIME!

So, how can we be more like Mary?

• Prayer

• Bible Study

• Reading

• Worship

• Music

• Podcasts

• Like minded friends

• Mindful scheduling

• Stop overcommitting

• Etc Etc Etc

I hope that I can be like Mary all year.  Not just as a resolution, but as lifelong surrender to Jesus!  

Words, How do we use them?  

I know for me this is an ongoing issue. More times than I can count my words flew out of my mouth and couldn’t take them back in. Or I used words to join a conversation that was tearing down someone, Or I tore down someone in secret. But the worst of it is using words to tear down myself. 

One of the hardest things  to control is what we say. And we all know that thinking those words is not any better. In James 3:10a it says: Blessings and Cursings should not come out of the same mouth… Did you see that? How many times have WE given our praises on Sunday and our cursings on Monday. 

What do we do? How do we fix the problem? 

Psalm 141:3 says, LORD, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.

And Psalm 39:1 says ….Guard your mouth with a muzzle..

The word guard reminds me of a police officer who is standing at the prison gate being watchful and  paying attention to who comes in and who goes out. They are always looking and observing their surroundings. I must be on guard and pray for Christ to be on guard over my mouth as well. To keep watch over what words come out of my mouth and words that are inside as well.

For me the hardest thing is to speak words of edification upon myself.There is  a running dialogue in my mind of words that do not build myself up. Words that tear myself down. Words that I would never speak over someone else. The verse in Colossians really spoke to me about gracious words.  

Colossians 4:6: Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person. 

Let MY speech be gracious: ALWAYS Not sometimes: Gracious words, words of edification, words that speak favor on someone/ on myself. How easy sometimes it is to build others up and speak gracious words to them but to speak gracious words upon yourself… so hard.

I must Guard my mouth in speaking to others and in speaking to myself.  May the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be pleasing to Christ. Psalm 19:14

We need to talk less/ BLESS more.

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭14‬-‭16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Currently, I’m in the process of becoming a missionary and part of that process requires “class work” and quite a bit of reading. Life is busy so I’ve found myself more apt to audiobooks. This month, the required reading, as part of spiritual formation, is a book called “invitation to a journey” by M Robert Mulholland Jr. and in this book he talks about the Myer-Briggs personality types based on Carl Jung’s theory. 

This has been something that’s always interested me but this opened up understanding on a whole other level for me when explaining the types as preferences. The author also explains that where our preferences lie, there’s a shadow side (the opposite of our preferences) that we must learn to accept and work with in order to experience wholeness. You can’t have one and not the other. For instance, I’m an INFJ, so I am introverted and prefer (key word there) solitude but yet in order to experience the wholeness God intends for me, I need socializing. 

It even goes on to explain that there may be preferences in corporate worship or how our preferences should be included in arranging our devotional time. While I was listening and taking in all of this information, “fearfully and wonderfully made” rolled around in my head and I was in such awe at how God forms us! We are wonderfully complex and He is the master craftsman. He not only forms our bodies but also our minds and shapes our personalities – preferences included – and therefore, our lives are mapped out in such a way to bring about wholeness. Our trials and experiences are working together to mold us, and God is using each thing: every mundane moment, every mountaintop experience, every hardship, every ease, every grief, every joy, every battle, every victory to make us more into the image of Christ, to bring us wholeness. 

As Christians, we know His sovereignty but life can start to seem like there is no rhyme or reason to any of it yet when we remember that it all becomes a part of His plan to bring about a desired end, there is hope. He’s orchestrating a song your soul will sing! And maybe you’re in a season that lacks harmony, your preferences are not being met, you have to do things or deal with things that are not ideal – you’re an extrovert who is at home all day in this season of life, or an introvert who has to make phone calls you’d rather not have to make, perhaps you are struggling in your devotional time because the rhythm of the season has changed and you can’t talk a walk in nature but have to sit inside and reflect, a feeler who needs to be more of a thinker right now, or one who has a more carefree look at life but has deadline after deadline you have to meet. 

Whatever it may be, be encouraged friends that God is using this, even an inconvenience of an unmet preference, to craft you into the image of His Son. If only our preferences were ever experienced, we’d never mature and would not be wholly sound. Imagine just having one arm buff and strong from working out and the other limp and weak because it’s never exercised – that’s what’s it like if we aren’t met with a challenge in our preferences. Our preferences serve us and bring glory to God, but the opposite of our preferences is beneficial to growth and wholeness. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in every way and every day of our life was recorded in His book…and the end of the story is “presented faultless” before Christ with great joy!

Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” 

Man, it’s hard to do that! Relationships in today’s world tells us to get with somebody, and if they don’t benefit you then to leave them. 

We’re human. We were born into a sinful world and are naturally selfish. Jesus came down to earth and died a gruesome death that we can only imagine. Any second he could have gotten off the cross and rose into heaven. All the pain would have went away for him, but Jesus chose to die so that one day we could be with him in heaven. 

 In the world today we see the perfect instagram couples. Couples that post their pictures together and everyone thinks to themselves, “They’re so happy nothing could be going wrong with their relationship.” Everyone thinks in relationships that it will never be hard and if it does get hard to leave. 

In May of 2024 I proposed to the love of my life, Kelanie. We were planning our wedding and honeymoon and we were so excited for our special day to come and our adventure to begin. Then the month of June came and times got tough for us. We were arguing non stop every single day, and our relationship was without a doubt being tested. I was working 60 to 70 hour weeks and work was getting very stressful. I would think to myself, “Why is she so selfish?” “Why is she being so rude?” 

One day in July I was playing Subway Surfer on her phone when a friend text her. The text read, “Do you still want us to pray for Mav’s job and for him to be less stressed?” 

My heart sank, and it all hit me. While I was being selfish and rude to her for a whole month Kelanie still prayed for me. She prayed that my job would get better and I wouldn’t be stressed anymore and she prayed for our relationship. After I saw that text and saw how unselfish she was our relationship grew and in October we finally got married. 

 Kelanie is a strong Christian and I admire her more and more every single day. I am blessed to call her my best friend and my wife. Proverbs 18:22 says, “ He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” 

Jesus still thinks of us while we still think for ourselves. When we want to only do something for ourselves that should be the time we should think of others the most. I want to be more like Kelanie and think of others and not myself. We should all be like Jesus and show selfless love as he did for us!

It’s now been a few weeks since Christmas, and even though we’re past the season, I want to remember a small but significant part of the Christmas story. 

In Luke 1:38 we read Mary’s response to an Angel telling her she is going to birth the son of God, His name will be Jesus, and He will sit on a throne of an eternal kingdom. Her response is “behold, I am a servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”

This is my favorite part of the Christmas story. It is such a powerful response. That is what true trust and faith in the Lord looks like. 

My prayer is that we can show this same obedience to the Lord in everything we do, just as Mary did. 

I pray through this year we can all remember that we are called to humbly serve the Lord, and we can cast all fear and all anxiety to the side and embrace the Lord’s call with full obedience. 

Going into this new year, let’s celebrate how God provided for us through 2024, and then prepare for how God will call us to serve this year. 

“It’s from the overflow that we love people, and we also learn from the overflow.” 

I heard this quote a while ago at a church conference and have held onto it in my notes app for so long. 

And if you think like me then your first thought is, what is the overflow, and where do I find it?

Well, the overflow is the overflow. 

It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s an overflow of the love from the Lord 

Because of this overflow of love, we can love people too. And in that same overflow, we can learn so much. 

It is simply the overflow of the abounding grace and love and goodness from God. He loves us so much, He shows us how to love, so we can love too.

We can learn how to love people the right way, the selfless way, the Godly way. 

We can learn how to be gracious, and kind, and humble, and meek. 

So learn from the overflow! Learn from the love of God, learn to use the overflow of His love to love people. 

“We love because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19 

“O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!” Psalm 34:8

In our dark world, we are always looking for goodness. Do you know where to find it?

The Scriptures display who God is. God is good. Not merely because He does good; He is good. All good things in life are so because they reflect He who is good. He extends His goodness towards His people through love, kindness, grace, and mercy. His power, strength, and authority comfort us because they are not separate from His goodness.

God calls believers to taste and see His goodness—not simply to taste and see, but to experience it. To do this, we dwell on the truth of who He is, think deeply about Him, search the Scriptures and our own lives for His goodness exposed, and take refuge in Him—our great and good God. We plant ourselves in the truth of who God is, and we find safety and security there. 

We find blessing. We’re not talking about material things here—health, wealth, and happiness. We can be blessed people who may also be sick, poor, and grieving because God is always good even when our circumstances aren’t. What we need most is Him. We need God. His blessing towards us is just that—it’s His presence. Our great and good God longs to be with us and provides a way for that to be possible. 

Search the Scriptures for the truths of God because you will come to know, love, and trust Him there. Delight in Him, and you’ll find your safe and secure home. Take refuge in His goodness, and God will be with you. 

For a helpful resource for focusing your mind on the truths of God, check out Brittany’s Scripture-led prayer journal—Great and Good: 50 Scriptures Reflecting God’s Character to Guide Intentional Prayer. Available on Amazon.

I come from a long line of criers – and if you know then you know. 

When I was little, we would go visit my grandparents in Dallas. Each time before we left, our family would circle up and pray. And every single time Grandma Cook and my mom would cry. 

I never understood it. In fact, my sisters and I would tease them every single time. 

Fast forward 30 some odd years and here I am  – the family cryer. I’m not the only one, but I’m not gonna put the sisters on blast in this here devotional. 

It’s been a year of change in Marino-Ville. I have a son that got engaged, moved out, got married, and graduated college. Say that five times fast. 

As if that weren’t enough on this ol’ mom’s heart, I now also have a daughter that turned 16 and will no longer need my services as an unpaid Uber driver. 

Did I cry the last day I drove her to school? You bet your bottom dollar. Did I cry when she took off for the first time solo – do I even need to answer that? 🤣

The fact that all of these things are seriously so good and I am seriously so proud does not make it any easier. 

Change is good, but change is hard. 

Moms of young kiddos – root yourself in Jesus. Put your identity in Jesus. 

Because after all, you are His. 

When they’re young. 

When they’re old. 

When they’re learning to ride a bike. 

When they’re learning to drive a car. 

When they let go of your hand and grab their spouses – you are His. 

And they need you to be rooted in Him. They need your strength to be His. They need your joy to be His. 

THEY need you to be His. 

“O Lord, I give my life to you” Psalm 25:1

🎶 Lord, I give You my heart 

I give You my soul

I live for you alone

And every breath that I take 

Every moment I’m awake

Lord, have Your way in me🎶

January 2025 – A brand new year has arrived! As 2024 fades in our rearview mirrors, we may find ourselves pausing to do a “year in review”. That may include revisiting reels that showcase our highlight moments or considering the gains and losses we encountered along the way. In a similar way, we find a scene in the book of Deuteronomy where Moses is leading the Israelites through their own reflection of their 40-year wilderness journey. They are preparing to step into a new chapter of their story. I can only imagine how the Israelites must have felt standing on the edge of The Promised Land- filled with anticipation and probably feelings of uncertainity about their future. Yes, it was a moment of moving forward, but it was also a time to pause and look back at how God had brought them this far.

Moses gathers the nation and reminds them: “You have seen with your own eyes everything the Lord did in the land of Egypt to Pharaoh and to all his servants and to his whole country—all the great tests of strength, the miraculous signs, and the amazing wonders… For forty years I led you through the wilderness, yet your clothes and sandals did not wear out. You ate no bread and drank no wine or other alcoholic drink, but he provided for you so you would know that he is the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 29:2-6). Moses reminded them of God’s provision- the manna in the wilderness, the water in dry places, and protection on every side from every enemy. Like in Psalm 77:11, they could declare-“But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago”.

Some of us might be saying, “Goodbye and good riddance 2024! You were a tough one”. “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. “ Corinthians 4:8-10 Yet, in the middle of these challenges, God has been present. Maybe He brought peace during some uncertain times, healing for moments of brokenness, or joy through unexpected blessings.

As we begin our own new chapters, let us recall all that we have “seen with our own eyes”. Take another glance back and behold “all the wonderful deeds”- the provision for our needs, the answered prayers, how He sustained us in ways we may not have even noticed at the time. May you and I grow in our trust in God’s unchanging faithfulness and move confidently into this new year.

Happy New Year friends!
Lisa Sasser Lamey