“If you want to cut your anxiety in half you must engage in God’s word.”
This is a quote from Jon Tyson from when he spoke at this year’s passion conference. For me this was so challenging because it applies to every single struggle. If we want to defeat anxiety, depression, fear, doubt, or any challenge we are walking through really, we don’t stand a chance if we aren’t living in the word of God.
What we all tend to do is look for our own solution. We don’t approach our Heavenly Father. We don’t look in His word for instruction. We take our challenge head on. But where does that get us?
St. Augustine says it best: “What am I without you but a guide to my own destruction?”
The good news is we don’t need to fix our struggles on our own.
Romans 8:11: “If the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give live to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you”
The Holy Spirit, the same one that brought Christ back to life, is resting in us. That’s so encouraging. There’s not a time that Christ is not with us. So, we can rely on Him, we can seek Him, and He is faithful to lead us along the path of righteousness, and heal our broken wounds.
Here we are again at the beginning of a new year. A time when I feel an urge to reboot, to start the year with a positive mindset, and a chance for a fresh beginning in so many areas in my life.
This week my thoughts kept reflecting back on 2025. I’m sure most of us can look back at 2025 and remember each major event, good and bad. It makes me wonder which one outshines the other? I will admit for me this has been a challenging year. Most of the time I felt like I was in the valley instead of on the mountaintop. There were moments that I questioned God and even felt frustrated that He wasn’t answering my prayers to fit my timeline. I feel ashamed to even say that, but the thing I learned in those times is that even in this fallen, ever-changing world, God stays the same and He is faithful!
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8
I find comfort in knowing that our all powerful God’s character never changes. He is as dependable in our tough times as He is in the good times. I have fallen into the trap many times this year of feeling like God was just ignoring me. I even asked, “Why me?”. I am ashamed of that too, but to be honest I think that is a normal reaction because in our flesh we forget that this life is temporary and Jesus even told us that hardship will come. It’s not because He is ignoring us or blind to our pain. It comes to mold us, to shape us, to grow us spiritually. We all know when hardship comes it’s a lot easier to fall to your knees. It draws us closer to our Father who loves us. He promises that through Him we will have strength and peace because His power is made perfect in weakness.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
God’s faithfulness is evident throughout scripture and throughout my life. I can reflect on 2025 and all the past years of my life and see God’s hand in every situation. Yes, there are still prayers I am praying that I haven’t gotten the answer to, but I can look at all the prayers God has answered and know that He is faithful. I have seen His goodness in situations that looked impossible to me changed for the good, in an instant. I can trust that God knows every single thing that passes my way and I can be assured that it is in His will. He knows all and if He allows it, I can be confident He has a purpose. God’s timing is perfect! He is our hope and we can trust in Him even when we don’t understand.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9
With the new year approaching, now is a great time to reflect on the past 12 months. 12 months of highs and lows. 12 months of Jesus remaining faithful through it all. The Lord is consistent, steady, and unchanging. He is the Rock we can lean on through any chapter of life.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8
During difficult seasons, it’s not easy to cling to this truth. We get knocked down, discouraged, and maybe our Bibles start to collect dust as we get stuck. And when life is good, maybe we want to sleep in when Sunday morning rolls around. It is a common habit to avoid God when we feel we don’t need Him.
God is always there, even when you don’t choose Him. He still loves you. He still desires a relationship with you. If you are a Christ follower, you know joy can be found through both the ups and downs of life. This joy is rooted in Jesus, and it goes beyond the things of this world. (Thank goodness!) We can rely on Him through any circumstance life throws at us. Let’s step into the new year with a joy-filled, faith-based mindset.
When my husband and I got married, I really believed happiness was just one milestone away. When we build a house, I’ll be happy. When we have babies, that will do it. I was always waiting for something or someone to fulfill my happiness.
After my third baby, postpartum hit me hard. I had no coping mechanisms. I remember laying in bed all day and night, unable to move. My husband would flip the mattress over in the mornings so I would have to physically get out of bed. I finally went to see a psychiatrist, desperate for relief. I walked out with a prescription for Xanax—and I couldn’t believe how fast it changed everything. My mood. My thoughts. My ability to function. I thought this doctor was amazing.
At my next appointment, she added Adderall.
I was shocked at how quickly a couple of pills could “fix” everything I was feeling. I had barely taken medication before, so abusing it never even crossed my mind. We were a good, church-going family. Addicts were people you saw under bridges or in trap houses—not someone like me.
But my life started to spiral fast.
What I learned the hard way is that I am not above anyone. And I very much was an addict. Even saying that word made me cringe.
I did 120 days in rehab—against my will. I truly believed I had just gotten out of control and now I was fine. I thought the love I had for my children would be enough to keep me sober.
It wasn’t.
Since 2021, I’ve had multiple attempts at sobriety. Each one came with more shame. I would look at my sweet babies’ faces and think, How can I love them this much and still not stay sober?
I remember going to AA meetings just to make my husband happy. I’d sit in the very back with a hat pulled down, hoping no one would notice me. At one of those first meetings, I met my sponsor. She gave me her number—and I threw it away on my way out the door.
After one of my many relapses, I finally tried the sponsor idea. She felt different. She felt steady. She became the one person I knew would still be there after every failure. She never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself.
Addiction is a disease, and one of the cruelest parts is that it convinces you that you don’t have one. That’s hard for normal people to understand. It’s still hard for me to accept.
I carry so much shame and guilt. This isn’t how my life was supposed to go. I was going to be the mom who was always there. Now I sit with my older kids and sometimes don’t even know what to talk about, because I haven’t been present in their lives the way I wanted to be.
I am having to learn that my kids, my husband, and my sponsor are never going to be able to keep me sober. I love them more than anything—but love didn’t save me.
When my husband made me leave, I felt shattered. Now I wake up alone in a one-bedroom apartment, and some mornings I still can’t believe this is my life. The silence is loud. The reality is heavy. I am a broken woman.
And this is where God keeps meeting me—right in my need to control everything.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5–6
I am learning that submission doesn’t mean giving up—it means letting go. Letting go of how I think my marriage should look, how motherhood should feel right now, and how fast healing should happen. I keep trying to take control back, and God keeps asking me to release it again.
Sometimes I surrender the same things over and over in one day.
Coming to terms with being powerless over my addiction has been humbling and painful. I have hurt the people I love the most—my babies and my husband. There are days the grief feels unbearable. Days I wonder if anything can be restored.
The answer I keep coming back to is surrender.
I hold tight to the belief that God is in the restoration business. That He can take the most broken, impossible situations and work them for His good—even when I can’t see it yet.
I am not healed.
I am not fixed.
But today, I am sober.
And today, I choose to trust God with the outcome.
Every year, Christmas reminds me that our God is faithful and keeps His promises. Long before Jesus was born, God spoke through prophets and promised that a Savior would come. A King who wouldn’t come with riches and luxuries, but with love and salvation. A King who would rescue and restore His people. For generations, they waited, trusted, and hoped, even when the promise felt so distant. And then… God fulfilled it.
When I reflect on the Christmas story, it brings me so much peace. It reminds me that I don’t have to worry about what is to come. The same God who was faithful then is still faithful now. He fulfilled His promises in Scripture and He is still faithful to fulfill the promises He has spoken over our lives.
God’s plans are good. His promises never fail. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Amen!
We read in Luke 2 of the birth of Jesus and his childhood. Twice in this chapter a phrase is repeated about the same person.
In verse 19 it reads “but Mary treasured up all these words, pondering in her heart what they might mean”
And then at the end of the chapter in the latter part of verse 51, it reads “…but his mother kept all these things in her heart”
Even in the previous chapter, Luke tells us in 1:29 that she is “greatly troubled at the saying and tried to discern what this greeting might be” in response to Gabriel’s greeting to her as “the favored one” or “blessed among women”
We cannot begin to imagine the thoughts she was pondering. To be first greeted as such and then to be given the news that you are to give birth, as a virgin, to the Son of God!
She certainly did have a lot to ponder and treasure in her heart. She probably didn’t fully grasp what she was called to do or the role she would play.
She would watch the events of the life of her Son, who was 100% God and 100% man, play out for the next 33 years. In these years she would come to understand those things that she treasured in her heart.
She would watch Him as a pre-teen studying in the midst of amazed learned men in the temple. All the while still having Him under her subjection.
Then would observe Him begin His ministry, do countless miracles, teaching from town to town. But also witness attempts on His life and probably begin to understand how things would play out.
Then have to stand at the cross and watch her human son be crucified. But knowing that He is her God and her Savior and that He would defeat death!
She ultimately understood the things that she treasured and we can too. We get to see it from the back end of the story.
But treasuring these things in our heart is a good practice. We aren’t called to give birth to the Son of God, but we are called to be His children and to obey Him. Let us focus and ponder that. Let us treasure the good news in our hearts always. And let us tell others about Him!
Waiting has never been my natural “strong suit”. Anyone else hearing me on this? Depending on what we are “waiting” on, or praying for, or even “expecting”, it can lead us to overthinking, fear, anxiety, weakened faith. So many times we in our flesh, view waiting as a bad thing. The very truth is that God wants you to THRIVE even in your waiting seasons. He wants us to seek Him and see Him like never before – EVERY TIME ❤️. Learning to wait on God and His timing has been a GAME CHANGER for me in my years. (With many hard learned- tough love lessons in between)
“But they who wait upon the Lord will get new strength. They will rise up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weak.” Isaiah 40:31
Waiting-PROTECTS Waiting-GROWS US Waiting- Is a PROCESS
God in all His Grace is constantly growing us. He already knows all the things. And sometimes, the very work God is doing in us takes longer than what we are asking Him to do. Read that again – slowly- and then let it soak in. Don’t get me wrong, waiting is typically not fun, because well, we are impatient. And again, it’s a PROCESS. We get so caught up on “trying to wait on God”- instead of waiting “with” Him. The Game changer is “God I trust you, You are sufficient- your timing is Perfect. I CHOOSE to wait with you.”
What He’s preparing for you very well may require a version of yourself that is still growing- that you’re still becoming 🫶🏼. So wait with your Heavenly Father, let Him strengthen you, grow you. Look boldly unto Him and embrace the version of yourself He is preparing- to glorify Him.
“The Lord will always lead you. He will meet the needs of your soul in the dry times and give you strength to your body. You will be like a garden that has enough water, like a well of water that never dries up.” Isaiah 58:11
About four years ago I received a screenshot of my own writing.
It was from Carol Joy.
She wanted me to know that a few times a week she would screenshot my devotionals and send them to parents of her students in hopes to lift their spirits.
She said, “Always keep writing.”
She didn’t know, no one did, that I had been praying for God to let me know if I needed to keep that part of my ministry going or not.
But that’s CJ.
She was obedient. She was a cheerleader. A joy spreader. She was God’s girl.
He used her every single day inside the four walls of her classroom and out because she let Him.
She said yes.
And that’s why she’s leaving behind the legacy that she is. Ashlee Lewis said it best – Carol Joy is a China Elementary legend.
So today, and every day, be a CJ.
Say yes to God.
Spread joy.
Smile big.
Compliment someone.
And laugh.
And because of Carol Joy, I will always continue to write.
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness will not overcome it.” John 1:5
It’s been seven months since I stepped out in faith. Six months since I battled with the Lord in the high school parking lot when he asked me turn down two jobs I knew that were mine if I wanted them. Boy, did I ever feel crazy for doing that?
But here we are all these months later, and I have felt the Lord whisper over and over, “See, I told you so.”
During these 7 months, I have subbed for a teacher who needed to fight for her life, coached two middle school sports, been momma to my kiddos full time, had two kids break themselves in one way or another, and said goodbye to my Pawpaw.
And NONE of that would have happened the way it did without me first saying yes to trusting the Lord’s guidance even when it didn’t make sense.
Proverbs 3:5-6 ——-
Since 9/11/2001, this has been my heart’s Scripture.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”
I’ve read it a million times. I have held tightly to it when things weren’t going my way. But this time – man, it just hits differently. What I could have missed if I had stayed where I was comfortable…
Do I miss my people? Absolutely. Do I miss the stress? Not one bit.
The Lord knew back in May that this semester would be a wild ride. He knew where I was needed. He knew what would be happening. He knew I would need TIME and that my family would need me. And He knew that I would need those unique moments with 3rd graders at China and middle schoolers at Legacy. And even more, He knew I needed to rest (some).
We have had 5 basketball game days this week…so “some” rest.
He provided a new family that LOVES us. When my baby is on her way to the hospital, they hug me, pray for me, make phone calls and cheer us on. The caretaker is being cared for, and it’s a true blessing.
Trusting the Lord…well, it’s not an easy thing to DO, but seeing how He has moved this past 7 months makes me feel even more confident to do it again. Don’t miss His blessings because you’re scared to take that next step or when it just doesn’t make sense. He sees our tomorrows. He’s already there.
Rays of Sunshine inc 