No.

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This is a word I struggle with saying.

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Today, honestly, I was just exhausted. I had a commitment to fulfill that I had already committed to, and zero energy and enthusiasm to go do it. But I did anyways, cause I can’t let anyone down, right?

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While this is admirable, it’s also stupid. Here me out. As I sat there, in a moment of frustration thinking about all the other things I have to get done (the list goes on and on), God spoke to my heart and said, “You know, you can just say no.” I’m sitting here trying to plan how I’m gonna make time here and there to get the Christmas Program at Church organized and planned out, secret Santa gifts bought, and oh yeah, find time to be a wife and mom and God just drops this huge Revelation in my heart. Is it huge? No. But it’s huge to me.

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This isn’t something I’d ever even considered. Saying no… you can do that? As I sat there kind of stunned, He then continued and said, “The root of that is fear.”

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Then it hit me: I’m scared. I’m scared to let people down. I’m scared to be rejected. I’m scared to upset someone. And this had created such a cycle of people pleasing that I honestly didn’t know how to stop it.

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I was rushing home to get ready to head right back out when I turned to my husband and said, “Can I just stay home?” You have to understand, I never don’t go. I never say, “no, I think I’m gonna rest instead.” I’m always the “yes” girl. So this, my friends, was huge for me. And man was it freeing!

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It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to not over commit. It’s okay to not be at every social gathering and your kids not be involved in every little thing and to just rest. And since this is supposed to be a Christmas post, It’s okay to have just a couple of presents under the tree because PRESENCE is what actually matters most.

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So, this is what Christmas is to me this year: a time to rest. A time to celebrate who Jesus is to me and my family and remind myself of why I CHOOSE to live a life dedicated to Him.

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I’m tired, y’all. Tired of trying to be a Pinterest mom, tired of worrying about the perfect gift and tired of being scared of not being good enough. So, I over commit and try and do it all. This year, though, I’m gonna just take a step back and BREATHE. Enjoy Jesus and who He is! Is life ever gonna be less busy than this? No, it sure isn’t. But finding moments of refreshment in the business is possible with Jesus at the forefront.

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Merry Christmas!