Even Now.

To my sister in suffering…

I don’t know why our Father God would allow this to happen.  I hurt with you.  My soul is grieved right beside you; tears streaming with you.  I am here for you, and our heavenly Father is still here comforting us through the Holy Spirit – giving us an anchor of inexplicable peace in the face of panic, uncertainty, and pain.

I do know He will use this pain.  He will use it to draw us close into His bosom and heal us.  He will use it to adjust our perspective, because in the face of loss and pain the worries we were consumed with yesterday just don’t matter. He will use it to burn away the selfishness and sinful desires that tried to consume our thoughts and time.  He will use it for His good purpose.

The honest desires of my heart are still for comfort, security, and even pleasure…. But are those God’s desires for me? Is that what life is about? Maybe He uses the pain and suffering to refine our hearts so we will finally desire what is truly good.  It shows us there is something better than comfortable, that security is a mirage, and true joy is only found in His presence.  

In this moment of suffering we could choose to let anger and bitterness consume us- to let them ravage our souls and build a wall around our hearts.  We could choose to despair, to sit in this place of loss.  Over the hours, waves of anger, grief, and depression pour over me.  But deep in the foundation of my soul I know the truth.  He is faithful. Even now.  

“Those who possess Gospel life have a God-directed worship reflex in the midst of suffering.”  

– Wade Grubbs

Father you created us.  You know our hearts are weak.  You know we don’t understand.  We are trying to trust you, but it is hard for our simple minds. It is so hard to understand that loss and pain can be part of your good purpose.  It is so hard to understand that you let sin and evil rule this world.    But Your ways are higher than our ways and we know enough to trust your hand.  Father, help our unbelief.  Help us trust you.  Help us open our hearts again to you, because without you we truly are nothing but in your presence we have everything.  Help us to pick up our heads, to breathe in and out, and to stand up again.  

Thank you that we do not suffer in vain.  Thank you for your hand of provision – showing us you are still here even in the midst of our confusion and pain.  You are the almighty but you still care for us and truly know our needs better than we know them ourselves.  I praise you, my sovereign King, in the middle of the storm because you still deserve all glory and as I sing to you even from pain and despair you fill me with peace.

1 Peter 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, 7 so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 8 and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and [d]full of glory, 9 obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of [e]your souls.

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