Okay, this one’s for the mommas.
Current mom, toddler mom, teen mom, bonus mom, foster mom, looking to adopt mom, empty nester mom etc.
Let’s talk about our babies and the relationships THEY make on this planet, and all the fear that comes with that. Will they make good choices in friendships? Will they see the bad in people before it hurts them? Will they blindly trust, and end up heartbroken? On the flip side of that, will THEY be a good friend??? Have I raised them to be loyal, trust worthy, and deserving of the type of friendship I so desperately pray they find in their walk through this world? Have I modeled being that type of friend and surrounded myself with relationships that model that?
Let’s get into this by saying this – YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER!!! Our children are our responsibility to raise, guide, and then in the blink of an eye they are making choices for themselves. Friends hear me when I say this, before you fall into the self-blaming habits that we all end up in when they make the wrong choice. Your precious baby child is not a robot. They are a HUMAN BEINGS, with the same free will to make their own choices that God gave you and I. So, they are 100% going to make mistakes. They will never make every choice as you may have raised them to make it… Your child’s human nature is something you can not carry on your own momma shoulders.
I am willing to bet that you carry enough on those weighted down shoulders. There is nothing worse than feeling like people are blaming the mother you are on the decision your child made. As if we aren’t already carrying it, that crushing judgement can just push us over the edge of self-blame. So, I encourage us all to respond differently in these situations because the moment we judge another mom thinking “not my baby” that’s when YEP, your baby…
They will ALL make a minimum of one dumb choice, but odds are it will be much more. So, lets support each other in this thing called parenthood because we are ALL just trying to get to other side of it with good kids that were raised to know that WHEN they made a mistake, momma was still there in their corner loving them and supporting them. Motherhood is SO HARD, and we need help!!! Help from our spouses, family, and tribes of other mothers that also are raising their kids the best they can.
So, when the time comes that they start making friends and building their own tribes, how can I help them to make the “right” ones? Wouldn’t it be easier to just do it for them!!! Well yeah… but what would they learn. There is importance in those broken friendships. So many human molding lessons come from the pain of loss. There are no tears wasted in this journey called life. So, we can’t and shouldn’t pick for them, BUT we can SHOW them what it is to be a good friend and to have them. We can show them through our own responses to friends and our own losses in that area. We can model grace and forgiveness in our own relationships knowing that they are watching and learning from us. We can be the friend to our people that we hope our child chooses for themselves. We can remind them that when it comes to friendships it should always be quality over quantity, and most importantly we can remind them that love overcomes all evil in this world, and that the love of a friend is precious.
Proverbs says “a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”. Friends, remind your baby of this – THE BEST FRIEND THERE IS, IS JESUS. If you love Jesus, He will send you your people to walk with, and those bonds will be forever. It is so hard to sit back and watch it all happen. To watch them go from the safety of moms just putting their kids together for play dates to them coming home to tell you about this new person who has entered their world that is a stranger to you. BUT trust who you raised them to be, trust God with their hearts and in the end know these things… God doesn’t waste pain or tears, and YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. Every single time you love them and support them in their journey you are a rock star.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” ~~~Ephesians 4:32
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”~~John 15:13