I devoured several good detective-driven dramas and missing persons mysteries during March. There’s something about a good read in the spring sunshine. 

I do have to admit something: I’m NOT a good mystery reader. Far too often, I come across a case that can’t unfold fast enough. I can’t just end a chapter with a life on the line or my favorite character hanging off the cliff…so I flip to the end. That’s right, I bypass the spoiler alert and ruin the ending for myself. 

I sat laughing with my husband about how I impulsively and impatiently skip ahead to the end, but part of me wondered why. Why did I need to know how the story ended? Why couldn’t I just wait and see? Why did I rush my reading to get to the ending? Why couldn’t I sit at the end of a chapter? Why did I HAVE TO KNOW how it ends?

Well, to put it plainly and honestly: 

Because I crave control and comfort. 

Because not knowing is not okay for me.

Because uncertainty makes me anxious.

As I reflected on my tendency to turn too many pages at once, I thought about how I do the same in my own life. I want to look ahead and see how it ends. I want to skip right past the uncertain, unknown, and unsure and get to the unraveling. 

Will my test results come back clear or with concern?

Will my postpartum season be marked by anxiety?

Will my sons choose to follow Jesus faithfully?

Maybe you’ve asked similar questions.

Will my marriage make it through this?

Will we ever get past this pain?

Will I ever recover from this?

As I dug into my own life story, I realized it’s less mystery and more history. I don’t have to wait and see how my story ends. I don’t have to frantically flip to the end.

Jesus solved our mystery on Resurrection Sunday. 

We don’t have to sit at the cliffhanger or wait for the conclusion. It is finished. He wrote our ending, beautifully, wonderfully, better than we could have ever imagined. 

Us with Him.

No matter the chapters of our lives…

No matter the plot twists or turning points…

No matter the unknowns or uncertainties…

The end remains the same:

As believers, we will be whole and healed with our Father in eternity.

So, we don’t have to rush through the incredible, purposeful, beautiful, story He is writing. We already know how it ends.

At the time of this publication, I am 3 days post remembering the 38th anniversary of my father’s death. Seeing that most Rays of Sunshine readers are likely from Southeast Texas, then you also likely know of our family’s story. (And if not, Google can bring you up to speed.)

My father was the Beaumont police officer killed in the line of duty on March 22, 1988. 

Two weeks before my 7th birthday.

I will never forget the chaos of that night. News crews everywhere. Cop cars everywhere. A driveway lined with food. People I had never met talking to me. My PaPaw and MeMaw drove in from Dallas; I can still see his giant, sturdy figure standing in our living room, glued to the tv. My neighbor rocked me. I barely knew what was going on, but I knew enough. 

What I didn’t know on that very night was the million, tiny ways God would be working things out for good. If there is one thing that I hold tightly to in suffering, it’s this- you never know whether the bad thing is actually the good thing, so we have to trust God with all things. 

I’d like to tell you just one of those good things that came out of the bad thing. My father’s rookie was John. John’s wife, Staci, would help my mom out with babysitting. One night during the summer after my father died, Staci told me about Jesus. My little 7 year old heart had been through quite a bit in those few months. I had no choice but to mature from 6 to 16 overnight. Somehow, in the midst of the utter upheaval of my life, I understood Jesus because I understood bad guys. The man who killed my father was also accused and later found guilty of the gruesome deaths of 2 teenage girls. But it was my father’s death that put Lockhart in jail. So, here’s how I pieced that together- my father, a good man, had to die so that Michael Lockhart, a bad man, wouldn’t do bad things anymore. Jesus, a good Man, died so that bad people wouldn’t do bad things anymore. While my understanding of salvation has certainly matured from my 7 year old Bad Guys Theology, it was what drew me to Jesus. I wanted this Jesus who would always be with me and came to die for the bad things in this world.

Through my eighth grade Bible class with Sharon Monk, I realized that because I had been forgiven of my sins, I needed to forgive Michael Lockhart for his sin against me. “Forgive one another as Christ has forgiven you…” (Ephesians 4:32). This verse gives no boundaries or stipulations. With the Lord’s help, I was able to forgive this man for taking my father’s life. I wrote to him in prison, telling him about Jesus and that I had forgiven him for what he did. I have no idea if that letter ever made it to him. I know that many people would just assume that a murderer spend eternity in hell. And I get that. But I came to understand that my sin and that of a murderer fall under the same verdict- guilty. If Jesus could cover my sin, then he could cover Lockhart’s, too. I won’t know, this side of heaven, whether Lockhart ever surrendered his life to Christ. He was executed on December 9, 1997. 

I was there. 

So was God. He is not absent when bad things happen. This is a famous argument for people who do not believe in God and a struggle, at best, for many who do. The question isn’t just “why do bad things happen to good people?,” but “why do bad things happen at all?” Find a Bible and read Genesis 3, you’ll see why. But I encourage you to keep reading. If you do, you’ll also see how God rules over all and redeems everything. I used to struggle deeply with the idea of God’s sovereignty when I had experienced something so horrific. But now I take great comfort in it. While I do not know “why” my father was killed, I trust that God does. This piece of my story is still very sad for me, even 38 years later. But it’s also filled with hope as this is a “what you meant for evil, God meant for good” moment. God was there on that night in 1988, He was there on that day in 1997, He is here with me as I write these things today. Not only that, but only God can bring about eternal good for people like me, people like Lockhart, people like you. 

Whatever He has brought you today, remember that you don’t know if this bad thing could be the good thing, so ask Him to help you trust Him with all things.

I often catch myself rushing everything, overfilling my plate just to get to the next step, so eager to find out what’s next that I forget to sit still in what is. And in doing that, I miss something, that I am living in an answered prayer.

How often do we spend our lives praying for a specific future, only to arrive there and immediately start rushing toward the next thing? We pray for acceptance into a school, then rush through the classes and semesters. We pray for a fun and fulfilling college job, then rush through each shift. We pray for a close friend group, then fail to truly value the time we have with them before we all move. We pray for rest, then rush through our quiet time just to get back to our to-do list.

We rush our minds. We rush our moments. We rush the very things we once begged God for.

Living in the moment you’ve prayed for requires intention. It requires us to slow down enough to recognize that what we once saw as “the goal” is now our reality. The classroom you sit in, the friendships you have, the opportunities in front of you, these are not stepping stones to rush past…. they are gifts to be lived in.

As a college student, especially being a junior, I feel this deeply. I’m so eager to graduate. I think about what’s next, such as graduate school, where I’ll live, what my future will look like, what plans unfold for me, and my career. My mind lives in the “after.” But if I’m not careful, I’ll miss the “now.”

And the truth is, God is just as present in the now as He is in the next.

There is purpose in this season, not just in where it’s leading, but in what it is. The laughter with friends, the late nights studying, the simple routines, even the uncertainties, this is a chapter I once prayed for. And one day, I may find myself praying to come back to moments just like these. 

Matthew 6:34, “Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

What if we shifted our mindset?

What if instead of constantly asking, “What’s next?” we asked, “What is God doing right here?”

What if we treated today like the answered prayer it is?

Because it is.

You are living in moments you once hoped for, prayed for, cried for. Don’t rush past them chasing the next blessing, and miss the one you’re standing in.

Slow down.

Look around.

Be present.

God isn’t only in your future, He’s in your right now, for you, and forever.

“[4] Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalms 37:4 NLT

“Take delight” means to find great pleasure, enjoyment, or satisfaction in something or someone. Another definition is to experience a high level of pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.

Using that definition, we could also say “be satisfied in the Lord,” or “find your joy in the Lord,” and He will give you the desires of your heart.

When we take delight in the Lord, it won’t necessarily look the same for everyone. Some of us will delight in singing to Him. Some of us will find delight in Him through studying and learning the Bible. Others may find that satisfaction in serving others or giving.

Now that we understand the beginning, let’s think about the part where “He gives us the desires of our heart.” Does that mean if we get saved and start delighting in the Lord, He will give us all the money or material things we want? Absolutely not. The point of this verse is that when we truly take pleasure in the things of God, our desires will begin to change and come into alignment with His, and then we will be genuinely satisfied. It won’t be a superficial or temporary satisfaction that comes from this world, but a true contentment and fulfillment that only comes from a life in Christ. We can have peace that passes all our human understanding, and no amount of money or possessions could ever replace that.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Matthew 6:33. It says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” He’s talking about ALL that we need—physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. It’s easy sometimes to seek those physical things first and just kind of fit God in wherever we have time, but He’s wanting us to reverse it and start seeking after Him first. When we try to add things to our lives on our own, we’re limited by the hours in the day and by our own strength. Leaving it to Him works best. He is big enough to take care of everything else when we keep Him first!

Maybe you’ve been living life your own way and might feel overwhelmed by what you think it looks like to follow Christ. So often, people complicate it when Jesus made it simple. Let’s take a look at what Jesus said.

[35] One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: [36] “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” [37] Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ [38] This is the first and greatest commandment. [39] A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ [40] The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:35-40 NLT

That’s it. Keep it simple. Strive to love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. I promise that will keep you busy! An equally important and probably way harder part of thay verse is to love your neighbor as yourself. Don’t get caught up in all the extra details. Start there. Fall in love with Jesus. Get to know who He is. Get to know who he says you are in His word. I pray this word is confirmation and encouragement. Love God and love people. ❤️

[13] For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13 NLT

God Brings Purpose from What Happens

Romans 8:28  — “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

You’ve probably heard it many times: “Everything happens for a reason.” When life becomes painful or confusing, it’s a phrase people often use to make sense of suffering.

But Scripture never actually promises that everything happens for a reason. What it does promise is something even more powerful: God can bring purpose out of anything.

We live in a broken world. Sin entered creation and fractured what God originally designed to be good. Because of that brokenness, we experience things like disease, anxiety, hatred, temptation, and loss. These things are not part of God’s perfect design—they are part of the fallen condition of the world.

Sometimes the difficult situations we face are the result of living in a sinful world. Other times they are the consequences of our own choices. Life has a domino effect of cause and consequence. Yet even in that reality, God has not abandoned us.

God does not force every circumstance, nor does He control every decision we make. He gave humanity free will. But what He does promise is that He can redeem what is broken.

God is powerful enough to bring good out of what others meant for harm.

God works through circumstances—not because they were always meant to happen, but because His purpose is greater than our brokenness.

When we surrender our lives to Christ and seek His will, our failures and struggles no longer have the final word.

1 John 1:9 reminds us:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

And Ephesians 2:10 says:
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

So no—everything does not happen for a reason.

But God, in His mercy and power, can take what happens and bring purpose, growth, redemption, and hope from it.

Our sin is never stronger than His grace. Our circumstances are never greater than His plan.

Only God can bring purpose out of what happens.

Jesus, the son of God, the living word,  the way, the truth, and the life.

What an introduction! There is surely nothing and nobody to compare. He is truly larger than life. How could someone with an introduction like that desire to pursue a relationship with you or me? 

In John 15 as Jesus prepared the disciples for His departure, He made it abundantly clear. 

John 15:12-14 NKJV

[12] This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. [13] Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. [14] You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

The people that Jesus spoke to were not merely strangers, acquaintances, or students. These people were deeply involved together for months and years of their lives. They knew each other very well. They traveled together and ate together, laughed and cried together. These were Jesus’ dearest friends whom He loved deeply, and there was no greater love He could show than to lay down His life. The people Jesus was closest to had a front row seat to see their friend – battered, beaten, and bleeding.

Jesus said to keep His commandments is to be His friend. Just like the disciples, Jesus cares deeply for me and you. He walks with us in our everyday and He knows us well. By keeping His commandments, we love and honor His sacrifice. It is to say “Jesus your death was not in vain! Your death had purpose, it was for me! You were enough, and you are still enough, Jesus!” 

Thank you Lord, for loving us so much.