Has anybody else felt it? The soft push to do something?

You know it’s there. You know it’s from God, but the doubt is creeping in and making you unsure.

For the past month God has been nudging me to go deeper down a path. All the signs are pointing towards it. I keep making excuses even though there might as well be huge light up signs saying “GO THIS WAY!”

I’ve had people reach out confirming what I know, that I need to go deeper down this path the Lord is leading me down.

But I was scared and I shrugged it off. So I asked for God to give me a sign..again. (Insert eye roll emoji)

He confirmed what I already knew—The Lord is calling me deeper still. There is no doubt in my mind now.

Sometimes we like to act like we are imagining the signs and the soft pushes that we feel. Deep down we know it’s from God, but our human nature kicks in and likes to rationalize what we felt.

Where is the Lord calling you?

What is the Lord nudging you to do?

Is He calling you DEEPER STILL?!

It’s okay to be scared… I’m scared. But would God lead us deeper down a path just to forsake us?

It is going to be uncomfortable and it’s going to be hard. Have peace knowing that if you’re being called deeper into something, it’s for a reason.

Romans 8:28 tells us “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Where is the Lord calling you, friends? What is He asking you to do? Is He calling you deeper?

I am a scaredy-cat by nature. It’s who I am.

And I married the most spontaneous, adventurous man in the world. He is literally scared of nothing.

Opposites attract, right?

Last week we road ATVs through the mountains, and I literally thought I was going to meet my maker. I was for real riding in fear. While the husband and kids were having the time of their life I was praying through in the back seat.

We took the family picture though. You know the one. We are all smiling and look like we are living our best life. You can see from the picture Frank took of just me that I in fact was living my worst life.

I said all of that to say this:

Don’t let the pictures fool you.
Don’t let social media talk you into a trap of self-doubt, self-loathing, and of being self-conscious.
Don’t compare your real life to their Insta post.

I smiled for the picture, but I wasn’t smiling on the inside.

You don’t know the pain behind their pictures. You don’t know the struggle behind their smiles.
You for real don’t know what other people are battling.

Don’t compare your life to their pictures. A picture is just a visual representation of the outside – not the inside.

After all, filters are fake.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

In the last two weeks I’ve witnessed God answer two different prayers of mine – one being a long-term prayer and one being a short-term prayer.

Testify.

Years and years of praying on that first one.

Years and years of not giving up.

And if I’m being honest – years of questioning God.

But now I stand in awe of God’s timing.

I stand in awe of a faithful God.

I stand in awe.

And friend if you were standing in front of me today – I would put my hands on your shoulders, look you straight in the eyes, and I would say – DON’T. GIVE. UP.

Don’t give up on your prayer.

Keep praying.

Keep praising.

Today whatever need you have – bring it to God. Then bring it to Him the next day. And the next. And the next.

Don’t give up on your heart’s desire.

Don’t give up on God.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14

This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” 1John 5:14-15

Choose to love.

Choose to forgive.

Choose to be faithful.

Choose to be kind.

Choose joy.

Choose to take one more step forward.

Without the work of the Holy Spirit those choices are impossible. And so many times, I ignore His voice and choose selfishness, insecurity, resentment, discouragement and discord.  But the moment I look up from the middle of the mess I’ve made – the bottom of the hole I’ve dug –  My good shepherd pulls me out and cleans me up again.  

And I can pray with confidence that He hears me and will answer me because it is in agreement with His will.

When I choose to move forward- he sends a breeze behind me.

When I choose joy – I hear the birds singing with me.

When I choose to be kind – It multiplies.

When I choose to be faithful- I see His constant hand of provision.

When I choose to forgive- He gives me perspective and breaks my heart over my own sin.

When I choose to love – His pure deep immeasurable love consumes me.

We celebrated 20 years of marriage last week and I am so thankful that God brought us and has kept us together.  It has not been easy, but it has been so good!  It has been daily choosing to love and forgive each other and God faithfully blessing that choice.

Whatever choices and tasks you have to make today – give them to Jesus.  Lay them at his feet.  Big or small, simple or heart wrenching.  He will take them.  He will bring you joy in obedience and surrender.    

Father, today I ask for your joy to fill me as I work. The tasks ahead of me are not things that I want to do, and I am tempted to be discouraged but you have given me this day and know all that is set before me. So, fill me with your joy and wisdom as I set to work. Let me do it for your glory! Father, it is hard for me to love today and to set aside selfishness and resentment. Forgive me and help me to love the way you love. Thank you for being faithful to forgive me. I know it is not your will for our family to live in discord. Help us to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and bind us together in your love. Thank you for the victory you have given us over the sinful desires we face daily. We are so undeserving of your grace and would be so lost without your presence. Thank you for your faithfulness!

Hey sister.

We all get down on ourselves sometimes, but you can’t unpack your bags and stay there.

You’ve got to make a choice to get out of that place. Your power is in your choice – and that choice is Jesus.

With His grace you can overcome.

With His strength you can move mountains.

With His mercy you are brand new.

So pack your bags and move along. Don’t stay in a place of despair any longer than you have to.

May the flood of water not overflow me

Nor the deep swallow me up,

Nor the pit shut its mouth on me.

Psalm 69:15

My father died when I was five, and our little family of four moved in with my mother’s parents. Papa was almost 80, Mama nearly 60. My two younger brothers and I were often herded to the porch when we were too noisy or too underfoot. Magical things happened on that porch when we were with Papa. We had front row seats to hummingbirds in mimosa trees and lightning bugs at night. The porch was our stage for performances of all kinds – circus acts, concerts with pinecone microphones, and so many tall tales. Papa was our patient audience of one.

The porch was the place Papa went to smoke his pipe. In my mind, I can still see him with one foot up on the rail, smoking his Sir Walter Raleigh pipe tobacco. We wanted to be just like him. He made us corncob pipes, and the four of us would “smoke” and talk on the porch. To be truthful, we did the talking, and he did the listening. A quiet man with a big heart, Papagave his life to Christ in his fifties when our momma and her sister were little girls. From that time, he was a new man. Each Sunday, he drove to a nearby town to pick up the preacher for church, to their house for lunch and a nap, back to church Sunday night, then back home again.

As I read through the numerous genealogies of 1 Chronicles, I amreminded of Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I see God’s faithfulness in providing our family a safe place to grieve and heal. Papa taught us how to whittle and how to garden. He took us to church and tolerated our shenanigans, but the most important things he gave us were security and unconditional love. He lived by a standard that guided us closer to knowing Jesus as Savior. I’ve learned that our heritage matters, but it’s not the DNA that matters the most. It is God living in us! I give thanks that we have a heavenly Father who knew us and chose us before we were born. 

Romans 8:15 tells us, “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” Daddy God! Lord, You alone are worthy of all we have to give. You are our Audience of One, the Lover of our souls. Help us to remember to “give thanks in all circumstances,” for this is Your will for us in Christ Jesus.

The amazing human heart, the size of a large fist, beats 100,000 times per day and pumps five liters of blood throughout the body. It runs on electricity, which allows it to still beat when disconnected from the body. Ironically, this life-giving machine that signals human life at 4 weeks in the womb, has a limited ability to repair itself. The heart can not regrow new, healthy cells once it is diseased. However, there are heart transplants to give humans a new healthy heart and an improved quality of life.

Not only are heart doctors credited with performing life-saving heart transplants, but God is the Master surgeon. In Ezekiel 36:26, God says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Through this verse, I found out first hand that God gives us parenting instructions!

A multitude of “boy” moms will agree that during the teenage years, an alien invasion takes place overnight. These space creatures capture our precious sons and leave us with a “stranger”. I remember asking God, “When was my loyal buddy, who was full of wonder and exhibited such a deep love for Jesus at an early age, ever going to return?” He constantly bullied his sisters and became defiant! I could not get him to hug me or talk about his problems.

I remember driving home from church one night while he incessantly cried and begged me not to tell his dad that he had been extremely disrespectful to his Awana teacher.

I WAS HIS AWANA TEACHER!

During this difficult season, my son also ruined many family meals. Secretly, I dreaded dinner-time because his bad attitude and poor appetite made all of us miserable. Why couldn’t our home be the safe, little piece of heaven it once was. My other 2 children were sick and tired of this monster living in their house.

Empty, confused, lonely, and broken-hearted- how could I fix this son of mine? I read Dr. Dobson books, prayed, joined bible-studies, cried, and begged my family to be patient and forgiving.

A few years later, God screamed out Ezekiel 36:26. There was my answer as to how to pray for my prodigal teenager! Finally, after praying this scripture, I felt at peace. As I prayed , I inserted my boy’s name over and over!! “I will give ______a new heart and put a new spirit in_______; I will take the heart of stone out of _________’s flesh and give him a heart of flesh.” This verse is etched in my heart, and brings so much faith to me.

A heart transplant took place and my prayers were answered. God gave my son a new heart, and HE is not finished!!! Everyday, I am astounded when I see my son loving his sisters, hugging, laughing, enjoying his family, hanging out with us, and just being the man who God created him to be. It is a joy to be his mom and feel the warmth and bond again.

Jesus, thank you for providing me with the exact words to pray for my child.

Don’t get my words twisted.

Get to church. Find a church. The Bible says not to forsake gathering together. It’s so important.

But if you can’t make it.
For whatever reason.
Maybe you’re sick.
Maybe you’re traveling.

Bring the church to you.

That’s what I did last weekend. Thank you live streaming. In a hotel laundromat I brought the church to me. Sidebar – technology isn’t bad – it’s how we use it that makes it good or bad.

I digress, in the hotel laundromat I felt revival in my soul. I worshipped. I praised. I was convicted.

It was so good.

And if there was a camera in that room the people watching it will see a 40 year old lady in a Britney Spears t-shirt raising her hands and saying amen. And I may have even cried.

It was good, y’all. It was good.

Get to church.
Bring the church to you.
But most importantly – be the church.

“Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25