Okay, this one’s for the mommas.

Current mom, toddler mom, teen mom, bonus mom, foster mom, looking to adopt mom, empty nester mom etc.

Let’s talk about our babies and the relationships THEY make on this planet, and all the fear that comes with that. Will they make good choices in friendships? Will they see the bad in people before it hurts them? Will they blindly trust, and end up heartbroken? On the flip side of that, will THEY be a good friend??? Have I raised them to be loyal, trust worthy, and deserving of the type of friendship I so desperately pray they find in their walk through this world? Have I modeled being that type of friend and surrounded myself with relationships that model that?

Let’s get into this by saying this – YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER!!! Our children are our responsibility to raise, guide, and then in the blink of an eye they are making choices for themselves. Friends hear me when I say this, before you fall into the self-blaming habits that we all end up in when they make the wrong choice. Your precious baby child is not a robot. They are a HUMAN BEINGS, with the same free will to make their own choices that God gave you and I. So, they are 100% going to make mistakes. They will never make every choice as you may have raised them to make it… Your child’s human nature is something you can not carry on your own momma shoulders.

I am willing to bet that you carry enough on those weighted down shoulders. There is nothing worse than feeling like people are blaming the mother you are on the decision your child made. As if we aren’t already carrying it, that crushing judgement can just push us over the edge of self-blame. So, I encourage us all to respond differently in these situations because the moment we judge another mom thinking “not my baby” that’s when YEP, your baby…

They will ALL make a minimum of one dumb choice, but odds are it will be much more. So, lets support each other in this thing called parenthood because we are ALL just trying to get to other side of it with good kids that were raised to know that WHEN they made a mistake, momma was still there in their corner loving them and supporting them. Motherhood is SO HARD, and we need help!!! Help from our spouses, family, and tribes of other mothers that also are raising their kids the best they can.

So, when the time comes that they start making friends and building their own tribes, how can I help them to make the “right” ones? Wouldn’t it be easier to just do it for them!!! Well yeah… but what would they learn. There is importance in those broken friendships. So many human molding lessons come from the pain of loss. There are no tears wasted in this journey called life. So, we can’t and shouldn’t pick for them, BUT we can SHOW them what it is to be a good friend and to have them. We can show them through our own responses to friends and our own losses in that area. We can model grace and forgiveness in our own relationships knowing that they are watching and learning from us. We can be the friend to our people that we hope our child chooses for themselves. We can remind them that when it comes to friendships it should always be quality over quantity, and most importantly we can remind them that love overcomes all evil in this world, and that the love of a friend is precious.

Proverbs says “a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”. Friends, remind your baby of this – THE BEST FRIEND THERE IS, IS JESUS. If you love Jesus, He will send you your people to walk with, and those bonds will be forever. It is so hard to sit back and watch it all happen. To watch them go from the safety of moms just putting their kids together for play dates to them coming home to tell you about this new person who has entered their world that is a stranger to you. BUT trust who you raised them to be, trust God with their hearts and in the end know these things… God doesn’t waste pain or tears, and YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. Every single time you love them and support them in their journey you are a rock star.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” ~~~Ephesians 4:32

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”~~John 15:13

Has anybody else felt it? The soft push to do something?

You know it’s there. You know it’s from God, but the doubt is creeping in and making you unsure.

For the past month God has been nudging me to go deeper down a path. All the signs are pointing towards it. I keep making excuses even though there might as well be huge light up signs saying “GO THIS WAY!”

I’ve had people reach out confirming what I know, that I need to go deeper down this path the Lord is leading me down.

But I was scared and I shrugged it off. So I asked for God to give me a sign..again. (Insert eye roll emoji)

He confirmed what I already knew—The Lord is calling me deeper still. There is no doubt in my mind now.

Sometimes we like to act like we are imagining the signs and the soft pushes that we feel. Deep down we know it’s from God, but our human nature kicks in and likes to rationalize what we felt.

Where is the Lord calling you?

What is the Lord nudging you to do?

Is He calling you DEEPER STILL?!

It’s okay to be scared… I’m scared. But would God lead us deeper down a path just to forsake us?

It is going to be uncomfortable and it’s going to be hard. Have peace knowing that if you’re being called deeper into something, it’s for a reason.

Romans 8:28 tells us “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Where is the Lord calling you, friends? What is He asking you to do? Is He calling you deeper?

I am a scaredy-cat by nature. It’s who I am.

And I married the most spontaneous, adventurous man in the world. He is literally scared of nothing.

Opposites attract, right?

Last week we road ATVs through the mountains, and I literally thought I was going to meet my maker. I was for real riding in fear. While the husband and kids were having the time of their life I was praying through in the back seat.

We took the family picture though. You know the one. We are all smiling and look like we are living our best life. You can see from the picture Frank took of just me that I in fact was living my worst life.

I said all of that to say this:

Don’t let the pictures fool you.
Don’t let social media talk you into a trap of self-doubt, self-loathing, and of being self-conscious.
Don’t compare your real life to their Insta post.

I smiled for the picture, but I wasn’t smiling on the inside.

You don’t know the pain behind their pictures. You don’t know the struggle behind their smiles.
You for real don’t know what other people are battling.

Don’t compare your life to their pictures. A picture is just a visual representation of the outside – not the inside.

After all, filters are fake.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

In the last two weeks I’ve witnessed God answer two different prayers of mine – one being a long-term prayer and one being a short-term prayer.

Testify.

Years and years of praying on that first one.

Years and years of not giving up.

And if I’m being honest – years of questioning God.

But now I stand in awe of God’s timing.

I stand in awe of a faithful God.

I stand in awe.

And friend if you were standing in front of me today – I would put my hands on your shoulders, look you straight in the eyes, and I would say – DON’T. GIVE. UP.

Don’t give up on your prayer.

Keep praying.

Keep praising.

Today whatever need you have – bring it to God. Then bring it to Him the next day. And the next. And the next.

Don’t give up on your heart’s desire.

Don’t give up on God.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14

This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” 1John 5:14-15

Choose to love.

Choose to forgive.

Choose to be faithful.

Choose to be kind.

Choose joy.

Choose to take one more step forward.

Without the work of the Holy Spirit those choices are impossible. And so many times, I ignore His voice and choose selfishness, insecurity, resentment, discouragement and discord.  But the moment I look up from the middle of the mess I’ve made – the bottom of the hole I’ve dug –  My good shepherd pulls me out and cleans me up again.  

And I can pray with confidence that He hears me and will answer me because it is in agreement with His will.

When I choose to move forward- he sends a breeze behind me.

When I choose joy – I hear the birds singing with me.

When I choose to be kind – It multiplies.

When I choose to be faithful- I see His constant hand of provision.

When I choose to forgive- He gives me perspective and breaks my heart over my own sin.

When I choose to love – His pure deep immeasurable love consumes me.

We celebrated 20 years of marriage last week and I am so thankful that God brought us and has kept us together.  It has not been easy, but it has been so good!  It has been daily choosing to love and forgive each other and God faithfully blessing that choice.

Whatever choices and tasks you have to make today – give them to Jesus.  Lay them at his feet.  Big or small, simple or heart wrenching.  He will take them.  He will bring you joy in obedience and surrender.    

Father, today I ask for your joy to fill me as I work. The tasks ahead of me are not things that I want to do, and I am tempted to be discouraged but you have given me this day and know all that is set before me. So, fill me with your joy and wisdom as I set to work. Let me do it for your glory! Father, it is hard for me to love today and to set aside selfishness and resentment. Forgive me and help me to love the way you love. Thank you for being faithful to forgive me. I know it is not your will for our family to live in discord. Help us to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and bind us together in your love. Thank you for the victory you have given us over the sinful desires we face daily. We are so undeserving of your grace and would be so lost without your presence. Thank you for your faithfulness!

Hey sister.

We all get down on ourselves sometimes, but you can’t unpack your bags and stay there.

You’ve got to make a choice to get out of that place. Your power is in your choice – and that choice is Jesus.

With His grace you can overcome.

With His strength you can move mountains.

With His mercy you are brand new.

So pack your bags and move along. Don’t stay in a place of despair any longer than you have to.

May the flood of water not overflow me

Nor the deep swallow me up,

Nor the pit shut its mouth on me.

Psalm 69:15