And I married the most spontaneous, adventurous man in the world. He is literally scared of nothing.
Opposites attract, right?
Last week we road ATVs through the mountains, and I literally thought I was going to meet my maker. I was for real riding in fear. While the husband and kids were having the time of their life I was praying through in the back seat.
We took the family picture though. You know the one. We are all smiling and look like we are living our best life. You can see from the picture Frank took of just me that I in fact was living my worst life.
I said all of that to say this:
Don’t let the pictures fool you. Don’t let social media talk you into a trap of self-doubt, self-loathing, and of being self-conscious. Don’t compare your real life to their Insta post.
I smiled for the picture, but I wasn’t smiling on the inside.
You don’t know the pain behind their pictures. You don’t know the struggle behind their smiles. You for real don’t know what other people are battling.
Don’t compare your life to their pictures. A picture is just a visual representation of the outside – not the inside.
After all, filters are fake.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
This past year has been a bit difficult for me. I’ve had some big life impacting decisions to make. I’ve had to decide on where to go to college, what specific program will prepare me for what I want to do, and if it was truly God who was calling me away to college–specifically, to a small school in the cornfields of Indiana. To say it plainly, these types of decisions do not make a light load for a seventeen year old, especially one who struggles to decide what she’s having for lunch, much less what her career is going to be!
With all of these big life questions circling my head, I have always wondered if it’s truly God telling me to move or not. Are my own wants and desires driving me to move? Are my life long friends who live in Indiana the reason that I want to go? Is it truly God’s calling and will for me to leave the security and safety of my home?
One random afternoon when I was thinking about all of these questions, the song “Firm Foundation” by Cody Carnes came on. As I listened, I connected with the lyric, “I’ve still got joy in chaos, I’ve got peace that makes no sense.” Two weeks later at church camp, I heard that “if what we suspect to be God’s calling for our life has this supernatural peace surrounding it, it’s more often-than-not His voice.” That supernatural peace is a peace that makes no sense in the midst of the chaos. I thought about what I felt God is calling me to and I am one hundred and ten percent at peace with it. This peace is the kind I could never force myself to have or even try to make up; it is simply there.
Paul reminded the Philippians that “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.” (Phil 4:7) After praying about what I thought He was calling me to do and comparing what I felt He was saying to His word, I whole-heartidly believe that this is a true calling from Him. So, in less than a month, I will be leaving to go to college in Indiana to pursue a degree in Ministry…in the middle of the cornfields.
Who knows? I could be totally wrong. I could be missing something, but I’m taking this step in faith based on the evidence and the peace that God has given me. I know that if God is not in this, that He will reveal that to me clearly once I get there. I do know this though…I’ve got a peace that makes no sense, and that doesn’t just come from just anywhere.
If God is calling you to do something, whether it’s move across the country or to simply reach out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, I encourage you to truly pray and meditate on it and see if it is God. If it is, He will give you that supernatural peace and a simple “Yes Sir” would probably be the best answer!
If it has”peace that makes no sense,” Go for it! The creator might be trying to call you to a part of something bigger than you know!
In the last two weeks I’ve witnessed God answer two different prayers of mine – one being a long-term prayer and one being a short-term prayer.
Testify.
Years and years of praying on that first one.
Years and years of not giving up.
And if I’m being honest – years of questioning God.
But now I stand in awe of God’s timing.
I stand in awe of a faithful God.
I stand in awe.
And friend if you were standing in front of me today – I would put my hands on your shoulders, look you straight in the eyes, and I would say – DON’T. GIVE. UP.
Don’t give up on your prayer.
Keep praying.
Keep praising.
Today whatever need you have – bring it to God. Then bring it to Him the next day. And the next. And the next.
Don’t give up on your heart’s desire.
Don’t give up on God.
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14
This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” 1John 5:14-15
Choose to love.
Choose to forgive.
Choose to be faithful.
Choose to be kind.
Choose joy.
Choose to take one more step forward.
Without the work of the Holy Spirit those choices are impossible. And so many times, I ignore His voice and choose selfishness, insecurity, resentment, discouragement and discord. But the moment I look up from the middle of the mess I’ve made – the bottom of the hole I’ve dug – My good shepherd pulls me out and cleans me up again.
And I can pray with confidence that He hears me and will answer me because it is in agreement with His will.
When I choose to move forward- he sends a breeze behind me.
When I choose joy – I hear the birds singing with me.
When I choose to be kind – It multiplies.
When I choose to be faithful- I see His constant hand of provision.
When I choose to forgive- He gives me perspective and breaks my heart over my own sin.
When I choose to love – His pure deep immeasurable love consumes me.
We celebrated 20 years of marriage last week and I am so thankful that God brought us and has kept us together. It has not been easy, but it has been so good! It has been daily choosing to love and forgive each other and God faithfully blessing that choice.
Whatever choices and tasks you have to make today – give them to Jesus. Lay them at his feet. Big or small, simple or heart wrenching. He will take them. He will bring you joy in obedience and surrender.
Father, today I ask for your joy to fill me as I work. The tasks ahead of me are not things that I want to do, and I am tempted to be discouraged but you have given me this day and know all that is set before me. So, fill me with your joy and wisdom as I set to work. Let me do it for your glory! Father, it is hard for me to love today and to set aside selfishness and resentment. Forgive me and help me to love the way you love. Thank you for being faithful to forgive me. I know it is not your will for our family to live in discord. Help us to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and bind us together in your love. Thank you for the victory you have given us over the sinful desires we face daily. We are so undeserving of your grace and would be so lost without your presence. Thank you for your faithfulness!
We’ve all heard it: the only constant is change. It’s true. Life is constantly changing in big and small ways. Right now, I just happen to be in the middle of some of life’s bigger changes. I’m resigning my part time ministry position. My oldest son moved into his first college apartment. My middle son leaves for college next month. My youngest is going into 8th grade this school year. We put our house on the market and are looking for another one. Lots going on. Lots to be anxious about.
Anxiety. I write about it alot. It’s a thing for me, something I struggle with. I handle it in a variety of ways – counseling, medication, prayer and worship. I try to remember that worrying is a way of saying that we don’t trust God for the outcome. That knocks me back every time. Of course I trust God. But do my words and actions reflect that trust?
How can I know that God is trustworthy? The past. My past shows me ways that God has been trustworthy in the past. The Bible shows me how God was trustworthy over and over. That is one of the reasons I love the book of Exodus. I follow the same patterns as the Isrealites. They mess up. They cry out to God. God saves them. They obey God. Things go well. They mess up again and the cycle starts all over.
I try to stay in the obedience part of the cycle. I try to remind myself of God’s truths. Here are two that have been helpful for me lately:
He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17
Jesus knows everything, holds everything and keeps everything together. Why can’t I trust him to know me, hold me and keep me together?
The other is a song by Ellie Holcomb – Red Sea Road. Here’s the chorus:
We will sing to our souls
We won’t bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There’s a Red Sea road
When we can’t see the way
He will part the waves
And we’ll never walk alone
Down the Red Sea road
More of Exodus to revive me and renew my trust. My God knows me, He gets me, He provides for me. I can trust him.
My father died when I was five, and our little family of four moved in with my mother’s parents. Papa was almost 80, Mama nearly 60. My two younger brothers and I were often herded to the porch when we were too noisy or too underfoot. Magical things happened on that porch when we were with Papa. We had front row seats to hummingbirds in mimosa trees and lightning bugs at night. The porch was our stage for performances of all kinds – circus acts, concerts with pinecone microphones, and so many tall tales. Papa was our patient audience of one.
The porch was the place Papa went to smoke his pipe. In my mind, I can still see him with one foot up on the rail, smoking his Sir Walter Raleigh pipe tobacco. We wanted to be just like him. He made us corncob pipes, and the four of us would “smoke” and talk on the porch. To be truthful, we did the talking, and he did the listening. A quiet man with a big heart, Papagave his life to Christ in his fifties when our momma and her sister were little girls. From that time, he was a new man. Each Sunday, he drove to a nearby town to pick up the preacher for church, to their house for lunch and a nap, back to church Sunday night, then back home again.
As I read through the numerous genealogies of 1 Chronicles, I amreminded of Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I see God’s faithfulness in providing our family a safe place to grieve and heal. Papa taught us how to whittle and how to garden. He took us to church and tolerated our shenanigans, but the most important things he gave us were security and unconditional love. He lived by a standard that guided us closer to knowing Jesus as Savior. I’ve learned that our heritage matters, but it’s not the DNA that matters the most. It is God living in us! I give thanks that we have a heavenly Father who knew us and chose us before we were born.
Romans 8:15 tells us, “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons and daughters by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” Daddy God! Lord, You alone are worthy of all we have to give. You are our Audience of One, the Lover of our souls. Help us to remember to “give thanks in all circumstances,” for this is Your will for us in Christ Jesus.
The amazing human heart, the size of a large fist, beats 100,000 times per day and pumps five liters of blood throughout the body. It runs on electricity, which allows it to still beat when disconnected from the body. Ironically, this life-giving machine that signals human life at 4 weeks in the womb, has a limited ability to repair itself. The heart can not regrow new, healthy cells once it is diseased. However, there are heart transplants to give humans a new healthy heart and an improved quality of life.
Not only are heart doctors credited with performing life-saving heart transplants, but God is the Master surgeon. In Ezekiel 36:26, God says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Through this verse, I found out first hand that God gives us parenting instructions!
A multitude of “boy” moms will agree that during the teenage years, an alien invasion takes place overnight. These space creatures capture our precious sons and leave us with a “stranger”. I remember asking God, “When was my loyal buddy, who was full of wonder and exhibited such a deep love for Jesus at an early age, ever going to return?” He constantly bullied his sisters and became defiant! I could not get him to hug me or talk about his problems.
I remember driving home from church one night while he incessantly cried and begged me not to tell his dad that he had been extremely disrespectful to his Awana teacher.
I WAS HIS AWANA TEACHER!
During this difficult season, my son also ruined many family meals. Secretly, I dreaded dinner-time because his bad attitude and poor appetite made all of us miserable. Why couldn’t our home be the safe, little piece of heaven it once was. My other 2 children were sick and tired of this monster living in their house.
Empty, confused, lonely, and broken-hearted- how could I fix this son of mine? I read Dr. Dobson books, prayed, joined bible-studies, cried, and begged my family to be patient and forgiving.
A few years later, God screamed out Ezekiel 36:26. There was my answer as to how to pray for my prodigal teenager! Finally, after praying this scripture, I felt at peace. As I prayed , I inserted my boy’s name over and over!! “I will give ______a new heart and put a new spirit in_______; I will take the heart of stone out of _________’s flesh and give him a heart of flesh.” This verse is etched in my heart, and brings so much faith to me.
A heart transplant took place and my prayers were answered. God gave my son a new heart, and HE is not finished!!! Everyday, I am astounded when I see my son loving his sisters, hugging, laughing, enjoying his family, hanging out with us, and just being the man who God created him to be. It is a joy to be his mom and feel the warmth and bond again.
Jesus, thank you for providing me with the exact words to pray for my child.
Isaiah 62:4 “Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah, and thy land Beulah: for the Lord delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married.”
I’m red, white, and blue through and through. I love the United Stated of America, it’s rich history and the ideals upon which it was founded. I’m so grateful for the people who fought and died in order for me to enjoy the freedoms that I have. But the older I get and the crazier the world gets the more I realize I’m no longer a citizen of this world. The words of Beulah Land echo for me.
Beulah Land,
I’m longing for you
And some day on
thee I’ll stand
There my home
shall be eternal
Beulah Land- Sweet Beulah Land
As a Christian I can wrap myself up in the fact that this is not my forever home. It’s just a tiny segment of the eternity that awaits me. When I gave my life to Jesus I became an eternal citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20). I have a house there. (John 14:2) I have loved ones waiting on me there. (2 Corinthians 5:8) On God’s timeline I’m already there (Ephesians 2:6). I will one day enter the gates and truly feel at home.
As we celebrate the freedoms we have in this country I pray that you also have the freedom that Christ provides. If you don’t walk in the certainty that there is something better and that your eternity is secure then make today be the day you give your life to Jesus.
Can I be a ray of sunshine to others, even in my own troubles? Is it really possible to see beyond myself, my circumstances – to reach out to those around me?
Seems everywhere we look people are in need. It could be just a moment of kindness, a hug, an ear to listen or words of encouragement in a difficult time. These things cost nothing except a little time.
In the story of a Job, he was lost and consumed in his own misery and could not see past what was happening in his own world. As God began to reveal Himself through questions, Job began to not only hear, but also see the overwhelming greatness of who God is. He was humbled and he repented.(Job42:5)
Job’s restoration came when he repented of his false beliefs, his pride, and submitted his will to the will of the sovereign God of the universe. God then directed Job’s friends to go be prayed for by him – the same guys that only brought their misdirected opinions of why they thought Job was suffering, and now God wants him to pray for them. If this had been me I may have questioned this, after all “I” was the one who had lost everything.
But in the great wisdom of God He paints this awesome picture of what it means to put others above ourselves and our circumstances
and to place His will above our own.
Job 42:10 “And God restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.”
Wow!
Job had to redirect his thoughts and filter them through The Lord. Only through Christ can we fulfill His commandment of truly loving our neighbor as ourselves.
I have to live this life with intention everyday, submitting my will to His will, to be obedient to His Word, and filtering every aspect of my life through Christ. Only then can I see others the way God sees them.
Isaiah 55:8,9 says His ways and thoughts are always higher than mine. His way is always better.
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