20 years, y’all.

20 years.

That’s huge, and it’s certainly something to celebrate. I never really write about marriage on here – some things I do keep to myself. But today – 20 years later – let me give you some good ol’ fashion marriage advice:

Your spouse wasn’t placed on this earth to serve you – to worship you. Get that idea out of your head before you ever say “I do”.

They were placed here to serve God – to worship God. Now, if they are truly living in that realm then you won’t have to worry about how you are being treated. If they truly love Jesus, then they will truly love you.

A question to ask yourself each day: Am I helping my spouse serve God or am I hindering them?

Pray for your spouse, and love them like Jesus does.

And some advice from Frank:

Marriage is such a beautiful gift from God and should be treated with reverence. If I was to give any advice I would say these things: 1) Love your spouse for who they are, not for who you think they can or should be like. 2) Embrace your differences, you’re going to need different perspectives and balance when navigating through parenthood and life. 3) Be respectful to your spouse, with your spouse and more importantly when you are away from your spouse.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3

Motherhood. My favorite job in the world. April. My favorite month of the year. The month I became a mother. Yesterday was my son’s 5th birthday! Wow. How could 5 years have already come and gone by so fast?

I look back on these last 5 years of motherhood and the growth I have experienced mentally and spiritually. It has been so life changing for the better. Thank you, Lord! So, what exactly does God want from me as the mother of His children?

Proverbs 22:6 tells us “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”.

I was blessed with parents who brought me to church all through my childhood. I was blessed with amazing grandparents who shared the word of God with me. I remember the day I was saved. My sister and I were spending the day with our Granny. There was nothing different about this day, until we started talking about our relationships with our Lord. Right then and there the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart. I gave my life to God with my little sister doing the same with me. What a special memory I will always cherish.

Now as a mother, it is my job and responsibility to bring my children to know God as well. If you are a mother, just know that even on the hardest of days, YOU are the one God trusted with that precious soul. It is YOUR most important job you’ll ever have to raise your child up to know God as their personal Lord and Savior.

We need to teach our children how to walk spiritually with God. We do this daily in our daily routine. We should talk how we want our child to talk. We should act how we want our child to act. We should treat others how we want our child to learn to treat others. This is the most important role you’ll ever have. Most importantly, get those babies to church and let them see you worship and grow in the word!

Galatians 5:22 tells us “But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness”. This is the perfect example of what we should be showing our children. Throughout the trials of life, our children should be able to depend on us, just as we can depend on our Father. We are His children who need love, guidance and patience. He is always there for you.

Thank you Lord for this journey of motherhood. I couldn’t do it without You! Mother’s Day is approaching, so remind yourself how blessed you are. Those babies need you. God called YOU to love His children.

Growing up in Sunday school, I remember the importance of being taught the power of our tongue. I can recall my children’s pastor telling us that our tongue is the most powerful weapon we can wield. As an 8 year old the weight of that meaning had very little impact on me. I did not fully grasp the concept of what that truly meant until my adulthood, and quite truthfully I feel like I have learned the most within the past few months.

 At the beginning of this year I became a second grade teacher! I was (and still am) ecstatic to get into the classroom and take part in raising the next generation to be the best they can be. However, after being around so many students and helping them deal with their challenges, the power of our tongue has never been presented to me in a more “aha” way before. As a teacher, we always remind our classes to use the acronym THINK when deciding if they should say something. (Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it kind?) These pose as such simple questions and though they are on an elementary level, I feel like we can relate to these questions from a Christian standpoint. 

Ephesians 4:29 

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

We can see here in Ephesians the power the tongue yields and what we say actually has meaning and power. As Henry Ford (The founder of The Ford Motor Company) famously said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t – You’re right.” When we have thoughts in our head, and we then in turn speak them, we give the thoughts meaning and power. Whether we use our words for good or evil is up to us, but regardless, it is so important to remember the power we hold with our tongues. 

In James 3:1-11 we see how small but important and powerful the tongue is: 

3 Now when we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide the whole animal. 4 And consider ships: Though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things.

The words we speak have an impact whether we like it or not. God has given us the gift of the tongue and speech and while we generally take it for granted, we need to remember that we have been blessed with this gift and we can either use it for building up or for tearing down. It is such a small thing that can make a large impact as we see all throughout the scripture and in our day to day lives. I challenge you today to speak life and to use your tongue and words to build up and edify, and not to tear down!

Justification- the action of showing something to be right or reasonable

Sanctification- the action of making or declaring something holy

Holy- dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred

Scripture tells us that we are justified because of what Jesus did on the cross and His resurrection, so we are all justified once we enter into a relationship with Him. However, too many of us stop there and call it good. We are satisfied with our “get out of hell free” card and fail to open the door to the greatness we have been called to. One of the most common things I hear Christians say is, “It’s ok, God understands…”

And while it is true that God understands everything we are walking through in our lives, why do we allow those things to inhibit us from becoming everything our Creator intended? He invited us to come as we are, but it was never His intention for us to remain that way.

We’ve been invited to a Holy covenant designed to mold us into mirror images of Christ. I’m not talking about chasing a list of deigned do’s and don’ts, but rather chasing after the heart of the Father. When my husband and I got married, I didn’t declare my contribution to our relationship complete. Everyday, I still make intentional choices to become the wife he needs and the wife he wants. I don’t have to walk in fear that I might “mess up” and “fall into” adultery, because I gave him my heart almost 20 years ago. I wasn’t looking for a wedding, I was looking for a marriage.

While I cannot wait for the day that Jesus returns, making the rapture is not my goal…Jesus is. I can justify my behavior all day long and still “make Heaven,” but at the end of the day I don’t want to have just entered the race, I want to win the prize…His heart.

I once read that being justified will set you free from the penalty of sin, but being sanctified (holy) sets you free from the power of sin. I don’t just want to be free from my chains, I want to be able to set others free, too, and I cannot do that if I have no power over those chains. I don’t just want to make it to Heaven, I want to bring Heaven to earth.

Another common statement I hear from Christians is, “I’m only human,” and I have to disagree. You gave up being “only human” when you were born again. We weren’t meant for mediocre, comfortable lifestyles. We were called to take up our cross. 1 Peter refers to Leviticus where God commanded us to BE HOLY, because He is holy. No where does the Bible tell us that our journey is over once we say a little prayer to ask Jesus into our hearts…Far from it.

Did you know that James says that if we know what is right, and we don’t do it that it is a sin? What has God asked of you that have yet to obey? Delayed obedience is still a form of disobedience. In what way or ways is He asking you to set yourself apart, and you have yet to step into it because of the sacrifices it will require of you? We’re supposed to become more like Him, so why do we still look like ourselves? Why do our lives still appear to be our own?

When people are around us, do they feel justified and content to remain as they are or do they feel His Holy Presence and convicted to be more like Jesus? May we be so saturated by His presence that we will not be satisfied with anything that cannot be deemed Holy. Less of me, more of You, Jesus.

My dog is mostly an excellent creature except for the rare occasion when he hasn’t been given much attention and there are alot of kids going in and out or he smells a dog or cat or sees a squirrel he wants to chase….it’s in these moments that our dog decides to dart out the door.

If my kids are around they inevitably chase him farther down the street. He loves a chase! I always try calling him but eventually resort to finding a toy or treat and teasing him to get close enough for me to leash. However, if my husband is around – all he has to do is walk to the door and call his name. That’s it. He doesn’t need to beg or tease or chase. The dog comes running back immediately.

My husband has never beaten him or even trained him. He honestly rarely pays much attention to him at all. But the dog knows…that tall guy is the boss. It’s just obvious, he’s the alpha of our little pack. He’s a smart dog – he knows better than to cross the leader.

I’m not a smart dog…I’m a sinful human. I forget that my father God is the creator, the sovereign, the alpha and omega. I get so distracted by the everyday details and forget that He put it all into orbit and could stop it’s spinning with a whisper… How do I dare disobey him?

He is so gracious. Slow to anger. He calls me back softly with his still small voice. His love is incomprehensible. He is worthy of our adoration, our complete trust and full devotion. I wish I was always as smart as my dog because there is truly nothing better than laying at the feet of my savior.

One of my favorite Christian Artists, Christy Nockels recently posed the question: “What if God’s presence is His plan for us?” (https://www.christynockels.com/podcast) It’s stuck with me. He designed us to desire His presence. Our sinful nature tempts us to dart out the door and chase life’s distractions, but let’s learn from the dog and run back quickly back when our Father calls.

Sarah Staggs Guedry

I’ve always looked at salvation as being a precious gift. We receive gifts all the time and hold some more dear to our hearts than others, but the most precious ones we guard. I’m reminded of a piece of jewelry my mom gave to me a couple of years ago. It’s a wedding set that has been in my family for several generations, and it’s the most beautiful piece of jewelry, not just in appearance, but what it represents. To me it represents a sturdy bond. This piece of jewelry somehow has remained solid and present to the point that it’s made it thru those multiple generations. I will go ahead and tell off on myself, that I evacuated for a hurricane and before leaving my home I not only grabbed boxes of pictures, but I made sure to grab this piece of jewelry. I didn’t want anything to happen to this treasure, it’s that important to me.

I recently made the statement that we, Christians, don’t guard our Salvation like we should. The Word clearly states:

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.[b] This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT

We have a treasure inside of us, but we are fragile clay jars. We are so fragile at times we don’t guard our salvation. We take it for granted when we get caught up in gossip sessions instead of praying for that person we are talking about. Ouch! I know that’s harsh, but it’s true. We have access to the power of God, but dismiss it in order to not be called out. We allow peer pressure to take over and just absorb into the scenery so we aren’t the odd one. I say “we” because I’m just as guilty as the next. I fail daily and so many times I end up warming my hands alongside Peter when he denied Christ in Mark 14:66-71. Sometimes my actions spew out “oh, no I don’t know Him (Jesus)”.

Jesus is Salvation and at the time Peter was questioned about being a follower, he denied his Salvation, literally and figuratively. He contained “this great treasure” and so do we. Instead of resorting the power of self, depend on the power of God. It doesn’t matter what he/she will say about us. All that matters in the end is we aren’t ashamed to call Jesus our Lord and Savior. Let’s make sure we grab our treasure on our way out the door, when we enter into a conversation, while we walk thru trials, as we take this journey called life in a dark world. Don’t evacuate from whatever hurricane is coming without it. Let’s guard our precious treasure – Salvation!

Listen With Your Heart

There is so much power to be found in words. We rarely think of the power our words can hold over someone else. We may say something never realizing that it changed the course of someone’s day, week, month, or maybe even life. We speak so quickly without realizing that someone could hear the words and hold on to them for a lifetime, hearing them in their minds and holding them in their hearts.

Now these words can change a person’s day for the better, or so often for the worst. I can’t tell you how many times words spoken to me by my 3rd grade teacher have resurfaced as I have journeyed through life, words spoken to a child in ignorance because she learned differently carried into her life creating fear of never being smart enough. Words that I have always tried to go above and beyond to prove wrong.

These words we throw around so freely, wow what a sword. I also remember words of power and overcoming being spoken into me, these are the words I hold precious and dear to my heart. I found myself thinking of the strength in words as I sat reading birthday posts on social media. I thought to myself “oh the joy to be found in the kindness of a word” you see… I do not celebrate my birthday, and I have tried to avoid the day all together for a very a long time.

Yet somehow on my least favorite day of the year I found joy in these words sent to me, and it reminded me of a conversation I had not to long ago about words.

There are spoken words and then there are written words. For me the written word is so much harder hitting, I mean think about it… If someone yells at you in anger it is hurtful yes, but you can often remember that very little real thought probably went into the things said in the heat of the moment; but imagine getting those same words sent in a letter or an email or even a text really… SO MUCH MORE HURTFUL. See to write it out you really must put thought into it… you must think about your words two times… once to form the thought and then another to put it to paper. I mean really this is why journaling and blogging is so therapeutic.

The average human processes 70,000 thoughts a day… SEVENTY THOUSAND that’s a brain fact that will blow your mind right! That my friend, is a lot of words. So, to write them down can be so helpful because it forces our mind to sort through the madness and get out what we really need to get out we can often find the real root of our troubles or joys in the process of writing. But the next step is deciding what to do with them once they are out there living and breathing on paper… do we take that time of thinking and writing and begin to see both sides of the equation and think “this really was a silly thing to be so mad about” or do we feel justified and decide to push send?

Either way, the extra time to think about it was not wasted. We are so quick to speak and so slow to listen these days that I walk around and see it… I see the anger people hold at people who at one time or another were their friends. I see the person sitting alone, now the outcast because of something that more than likely could have been worked out. But alas… the words were spoken quickly; opinions were formed and now people are divided, and sides have been chosen.

It is a trickle affect really; one person gets hurt by another’s actions and they need an ally, so they share the story and boom, friends part, and that’s that. I wonder how just a quick inhale and exhale and decision to not react in the moment could have changed the outcomes. I really do hope that I can continue to work toward being a person who can speak slower and hear quicker.

I do this in my conversations with my teenage daughter, and my gosh the difference it makes. She is a teen living with and learning to manage ADHD. Now somethings she says, and I am like IMMEDIATELY NO… but so often if I just let her speak and take mental notes as she is speaking and give her the opportunity just to GET IT ALL OUT, she will come to the same conclusion on her own that I would have spoken over her.

See I have poured into her life for all these years and whether I thought she was at the time; she was listening and watching and learning. She has turned into this amazing human right in front of my eyes and has so much to say. I am a sanctuary for her; her safe space that she can say all the things and feel all the things and know that I am just where it ends. She has no fear of me repeating her feelings or judging them. I am simply a wall with ears. She will literally fall into my bed at the end of the day most days and just word vomit all the things of her day and how they made her feel and how she didn’t respond, and she just held the thoughts until she reached her sanctuary. She knows that when it is something that needs to be addressed, I will absolutely address it and a lesson and or consequence is coming, but I always give her ample time to complete all her thoughts and feelings freely. I in no way let her get away with anything, but I also understand that she lives with ADHD, and a teen with ADHD says things off the cuff; without thought even more than every other teen, and if I jump down her throat every time she says something wrong well… she’s going to stop speaking to me and even worse she is going to stop trusting me with her thoughts and feelings. When a person feels safe speaking, they will say things that will show you what was really going on and what lead them to respond in a way or do things that aren’t really telling of the person they are.

Sometimes you will realize you were just a catch all in a day of 70,000 thoughts that ended up coming out at the smallest possible trigger. You see people say and do the wrong thing… because we are just mere humans with very real faults. So maybe if we could just slow down to hear people even in their anger, the way we do when they are speaking joy and be slow to respond we could work through these major dividers that live between two sides of a story. If we could just give people the benefit of the doubt we may change their hearts with our silence. In John 16 Jesus says a lot of words yet the disciples are not understanding; they are hearing him but not grasping the meaning of his words. Yet, they never came out and asked him. That is the picture I am painting here… we hear pieces of things and interoperate them without truly ever hearing them to start with. The disciples were saying behind Jesus’ back “what do you think he meant by that?” or “we do not get what he is saying.” It took Jesus himself seeing that these people weren’t getting it and saying it in a different way for them to say in John 16:29-30 something to the extent of “AH! ok…. Well, when you put it like that we understand AND (do not miss this next part) AND… we believe you”. Sometimes if we really listen to people and simply respond with “I need you to tell me what you are really trying to say” we can fix a life altering division and keep a friend. Throughout Jobs troubles he was told more than once to “be silent” “pay attention” another meaning for the words pay attention is “to incline ears”. Job was told these things by God because God needed him to learn the wisdom in waiting to speak even when he was in times of trouble; the wisdom would surely be found in the patience that came with listening first and speaking later. Words can absolutely destroy a relationship BUT they can also mend one if we extend the grace of a listening heart.

John 16:29-30

29. Then Jesus’ disciples said, “Now you are speaking clearly and without figures of speech. 30. Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God.”

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Job 33:31-33

31“Pay attention, Job, and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak. 32 If you have anything to say, answer me; speak up, for I want to vindicate you. 33 But if not, then listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.”